The start of the journey

[firelass]

I got through all most all of my degree celebrations and birthday celebrations without anything bad. Till pudding, I had some toffee ice cream but that was all, still The portions of salad and chicken or prawns have been way more than allowed, So I have over eaten 3 times. since starting cambridge. I'm dreading my weigh in on saturday

 

[firelass]

6lb looss wooooo

 

[CrazyDiamond]

6lb looss wooooo

Haha, well done, nothing to dread after all then!!
C

 

[firelass]

well I think it was just delyed. 2lb on this week. *sad face*

It seems things cought up with me. when I lost the 6lb I thought it was a bit strange. I had eaten pasta and things. For my birthday night out, I was told i would have to eat some carbs by my cdc. So I had some pasta salad and then some garlic bread that was it. Them for my oh birthday I ended up eating a bit of ice cream and chocalte sause. I think those with the added skittle bombs from my night out made for the weight gain.

I was still on the plan the whole time. So hoping this week to loose those and more. fingers crossed.

 

[firelass]

so 2 lb off this week lol that puts me back even what I was two weeks ago. sort of annoying. Fingers crossed i can do better this week. I think I need to start doing more.

 

[firelass]

wooo 5lb off. So that is a total of 23lb in 6 weeks. That is 3.8 ish lb a week average. That is alright. I could do that going to the gym and eating right. I have done it before.
However I'm losing weight and spending my time in other ways instead of eating or the gym.

so If I do well again next week we are going to the cinema to see despicable me 2 Tomorrow I'm going to go for a gentle swim. Just to get me back in to exercising again. I've not been since I started cambridge.

So apart from the hunger being back, and the general annoyance of not being able to eat. I'm doing alright

 

[firelass]

ahhh dam, I ate a lot of food today... A LOT OF FOOD. the day before weigh day. I'm just sick off being tired and having no energy all the time.

 

[firelass]

having to change CDC soooob. I like the girl we have! awww well lets hope the new one is just as nice.

 

[firelass]

I did it again, I went to an eat all you like place and ate 3 big plates of food and two plates of puddings. Then on tuesday night I ate kabbab meat and garlic mayo. At least I'm not dizzy just now, but I have put on 2lb.

I went to the gym and swimming a few times over the last few weeks. And ended up layed up with painkillers and not being able to walk far. Ugh I dislike my back. I can't even do 60 lengths of the pool in a week without being too sore to move. sigh.

How can I loose weight and keep it off if I can't just nip out for a walk, or a swim or anything. well only a 2lb gain so far this week. But i was only loosing 3lb a week with going to the gym or swimming 3 times a week and sticking to the plan. Eating food and then not going to the gym I can see its going to be a very bad weigh day on tuesday.

 

[firelass]

So I was out at the week end, I drank and ate sooooo much, then on the sunday I ate hangover food oh what a mess. Then on monday I started eating loads of chicken and stuff. As weigh into day I was so worried. I lost 7lb! no idea how. that can't be right at all.. arg.

 

[Scooter-boy]

Good luck Firelass I started today and just had my first shake.... WE can do this !!!! x

 

[firelass]

thank you scooter- boy. How are you getting on now?

 

[firelass]

So my weight is not going down too well. Its going up and down and up and down. Gone from having 12lb to loose up to 1st2lb to loose because I keep cheating.

I spoke to my consultant, she said that having so many issues on step one, and having so little left to loose it would be fine to move straight to step three.

doing way better on step three, I have slipped up, but nowhere near as much. I've just had enough now, its going out with friends and not being able to eat anything.
I went to the local shopping mall with my other half today. There was literally nothing low in carbs at all. All of the food was based on carbs.

I should have asked for a salad, but I hate paying the same price for less food. I like to get my monies worth since money is an issue just now.

So in a few weeks time stress levels will go though the roof as I start 4th and last year of my degree. We have a planed night out for the 10th of september. I plan till be good till then.
Because I ate out today, I'm having no food, just three products. So its like a step one day, only with lemon chicken and noodles I cleaned the fish tank instead of going to the gym.

Now I'm going to have a long bath with a book and start again tomorrow. New day, will wake up and will do this!!! boya!!

 

[firelass]

Not sure what I want my goal to be now. I was talking about goals with a few people, my ideal weight for my hight is anywhere between 8st5 - 11st5. So my goal had been 12 stone, then 11 stone when I saw what it should be. Now I'm not sure. I know that I have never ever managed to stay at 12 stone for any length of time without skipping meals. So I don't know if I would get lower than that. I was going to give it ago. See how I get on and how I look. I guess if I start to look too thin or it gets too hard I should stop.
As it stands, eating 1000 calories a day, I'm still loosing weight, that is with going to the gym three times a week, most weeks. Though I have not been this week. Hangs head in shame. Had a lot going on. Although that is sort of an excuse, as I could have gone today, I really have had only time and night and by that point I'm so tired I'm putting the milk in the cupboard and the coffee in the fridge.

 

[firelass]

Still no closer to deciding what my goal should be. So I don't know if I have 14lb to loose or more. Last week I managed to cheat every day and still loose 1lb. So I think I need to be better but that isnt bad.
This week hasnt been that much better. On monday night we got a chippy, on tuesday I had meatloaf, and a croissant with butter and jam.
On wed I had the same croissant with butter and jam. Then I went shopping with the girls and we ended up in pizza express.
Yesterday I got stuck all day with no products. But I did ok, I ate a croissant with jam and butter again, but that was the only cheat. Today no cheats at all.
I made one of the step three meals. Its 4 portions, it wasn't bad.
I had a product and a plum for breakfast, a peach after aqua fit and swimming. Then I had a few appointments to go to and the vet. So I had only water till tea.
I plan to have more fruit, a bar and a cuppa for supper. I have one more bottle of water to fit in as well

 

[Goldilukes]

Morning firelass, here to subscribe

 

[Goldilukes]

Just reading through your diary and noticed you are up and down like me. You have to understand that even though its better for our bodies to be healthier and lose weight......don't underestimate how much the body will sabotage you at every turn. I have noticed that dieting is one big game and you need a plan to get to the next level which ever diet you are on. Every time I get in to the 9s I find myself feeling ill and wanting carbs.....is that real or is it my brain being a biatch! I don't know I just find it too much of a coincidence now. I'm 31 32 in December and I remember turning 30 thinking.....jeeez I don't want to be this age but you find it's just another year and you feel the same inside. I'm still a silly big kid so I suppose it's more to do with your outlook on life. I'm not fuddy duddy like some I know at my age, I still wear trendy clothes that I would have worn in my 20s etc etc. happy belated birthday and don't beat yourself up too much.

As for going out with friends and feeling sad about eating lettuce..don't...actually look at them not looking after themselves and eating bad things and be sorry for them. My boyfriend eats cakes, biscuits, chocolate each day along with bread, pasta and ice cream. At first I found it so hard, my sense of smell works on overdrive ahhhh but now I have learned to look at him eating and think to myself I don't envy you because what you are putting in your body is not good. I on the other hand am not that way anymore and it's time to accept that I can't be that person anymore, she's died and I am a new Lauren with a new start. Don't know if that will help you but really think About what I said and try and apply it plus I go to costa every day for a coffee, the cakes are there every day and a Krispy Kreme stand. I used to eat those in abundance and when I first started dieting I'd stand I'm front of the stands and stare, smell and drive myself nuts....stupid!!!!!! Now I walk past, don't look, don't even give yourself the temptation or the feelings you are doing without. When we feel we can't have something we want it even more, so don't even stand there deciding.....decision is done do you want to wear pretty dresses and feeling amazing inside? Then it's decided. If you want to go back to feeling tired, uncomfortable, out of breath, cumbersome, wearing things that cover Nd not flatter, heading to irreversible diseases....then treat each day as a party. Choice is yours.

These are the thoughts that keep me going and so far since march this year it has kept me going. I'm looking forward to keeping up wit your diary, keep up up the good work get rid of the bad, you can do it'!!!!

 

[firelass]

Hey,

Thank you so much for your comments. That actually will work for me. I have never smoked or ever tried any drugs, my logic had always been that it was so bad for my health I I was not interested at all. Sometimes I feel life is so short, why would I want to make it shorter.

I was out tonight, and I won't go into the details but I will suffer for it. So I lost 3lb this week but I think I about ate it in one meal. I guess, though once in awhile won't do me too much harm.

My plan for this week, is to make sure I at least maintain my weight loss and don't go back up. You're right about the dresses and things as well. I really love pretty little dresses. I can't remember if I said my mum has a lot of illnesses and has been disabled since I was 16, so that has always been a factor in my losing weight.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me and give me helpful motivational advice. Now that I'm reminded, I remember how horrible it was having to hold my breath to tie my shoes, then stop half way to breath.

I hope you are having a positive week

 

[firelass]

This week has been the week of the month where I crave everything bad, I did fairly well. wooo. I keep thinking I could have done better. I do it to my self all the time, feel like I could have done better. But really, the truth is being back there now, I would do the same. And could I have actually done better? I lost 3lb that is good weight loss in one week. I went to an aqua fit class and the gym.

I have had a stinking cold the last 2 days and still managed to go to the gym. whenever I have a cold I get a craving for hot chocolate. But I have stuck to tea as a hot drink of choice. Its doing the same job. Or I have the golden veg water flavouring.

My other half who is doing the diet as well, is going away for a conference, then away for a week with friends. So will be off the diet for close to three weeks. In that time I think I will move back down a step.

Apparently people do sometimes go up and down the steps depending on what is right for them. And sometimes have a detox week if the pounds have started creeping up on them again.

I'm back down to the lightest weight I have been as an adult, I should be proud of myself for getting this far.

When Uni starts its going to be hell. 40 hour weeks, looking after mum. I have also taken on some extra work, tutoring second years and a peer mentor for first years. But I'm doing it for me, because its something I really really love doing. So although it will be stressful it will be worth it.

My best friend is 30 soon, so that will be be the next time I might fall off the diet a wee bit. Then there will be christmas. But by christmas I will be maintaining. Then after christmas, I think I might need a wee cambridge helping hand to take off mince pies. I love mince pies.

 

[firelass]

My tutor gave the class some good advice today for managing stress. Watch for it coming, because its impossible to avoid. Look ahead and what is happening in the next week or so, keep looking, be prepared. Plan in time to relax.

Think about how you get when stressed, he said he gets grumpy. He said when he finds himself snapping at students he has to go take himself off. But he said, he can see it coming if he is watching him self. And I get that, I can see when things are starting to get on top of me. And at that point I know I'm going to give in to temptation.

I think though, I know a lot of how my weeks are going to pan out. I can see where there is going to be stressful days. I know there will be unexpected things along the way. But I need to work in advance, instead of doing life a few days at a time.

I have food in for 4 days, and its 4 days till weigh in, so thats not too bad

I should have gone to the gym tonight, but never mind. I will go to the gym tomorrow. I do need to stop puting things off. I need to force myself into doing stuff on time.