Time to maintain for the rest of my life

Had a great gym session yesterday :) I did a 30 minute bodyweight circuits class (I could feel the burn a couple of times but it wasn't too challenging) then I did a great 4km run on the treadmill in 27mins5secs. It felt great, I kept getting lovely bursts of energy and feeling like I was flying! A couple of 'down' moments too but overall it seems like cake is great running-fuel! :D I hope to hit 5k in the next few weeks, and then to start building up to run outdoors. I've heard a 1% incline on the treadmill is the same effort as running flat outdoors.

Ache a bit today but not too much so I hope to go again tomorrow.

Unfortunately I did have a bit of a vanilla milk blowout after the gym. It just really hits the spot (sugar and protein I think). Oh well, I've now learnt my lesson that I should buy just one bottle at a time as I will never manage to 'save' the second! I wish I was one of those people that could though... will work on this.
 
Glad to say today I hit my 5k running goal earlier than expected, and did it with a 1% incline on the machine :) I was going to go to a class then do my run but the class didn't seem to be happening so I made use of the extra energy and just kept going.

I think to switch this to running outdoors I need to get better at managing my pace. For now I'm going to aim to speed up. Today was 37minutes12seconds and I felt I could've gone faster. Maybe 30minutes is a good goal?

A bit off plan over the weekend, but not massively so. The exercise I'm doing lately seems to be compensating for excess syns, though I realise they're not good for me (sugar+alcohol).

First official weigh in at target today - fairly confident I'll still be well within target as I was 10st8.5 on my home scales this morning.
 
This weekend was always going to be a blowout - I went camping with friends - but it wasn't as bad as last year pre-SW. Lots of crisps and some booze and chocolate but not completely pigging out. Had some healthy chilli and pasta and things too.

I was up a few lbs Monday morning (I think 10st11) which is out of my personal target range (still ok for free SW purposes), so I want to get back down to 10st8-9 by next Monday. So that's a few lb to get off but I think I can do it because probably some of the weight was due to lack of fibre/lots of salt.

I started off well yesterday going to the gym first thing - did a circuits session and then a 2.5k run. I'm focusing on increasing my speed at the moment. I ate out with my parents in the evening and had 3 courses but didn't absolutely stuff myself, and was mostly syn-free the rest of the day. Today I walked to work (more exercise than cycling), and I'm being sensible before another meal out tonight. Rest of the week I'm in control of my food so will reign in a bit, and will fit in another gym session and maybe some hiking at the weekend.
 
I've had a lovely couple of evenings with my parents at the Proms. Last night was Elgar's cello concerto (such a lovely instrument!) and the Symphonie Fantastique (some good catchy bits). I love the hall, and the sense of excitement of the people who go.

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Yesterday not as great in that I had 12.6syns even before going out for dinner. Then the dinner was incredibly carb-heavy - I ordered the risotto but they gave me linguine and we had to rush so no time to send it back. I felt quite sick and bloated after. However, I didn't even consider having a pizza which would've been my automatic choice back in the day. Another bready starter though... will reign back on those for a bit, because even if I 'allow' bread now, they come with a lot of oil.

I'm in control of food today and for the rest of the week. My treats so far today have been a piece of shortbread and a couple of syns in my yogurt, but my carb-free Greek salad lunch felt good after that linguine!

Gym tomorrow and I'm taking Friday off to try and feel a bit less toxic and worn out. My skin is rubbish at the moment :(
 
I thought my wardrobe woes would be over once I hit target. In fact one of the best things about getting here was getting rid of masses of clothes that no longer fit or suited me, and just having one wardrobe (not a fat one and a thin one!) But now I'm finding I'm really bored with a few things, (many are the styles I wore aged 18 ten years ago), many are just a BIT too big and don't look stylish... When I order things online, I usually end up with something too big because I can't judge my size yet! And many styles this season seem to be quite baggy, which I don't really wear - I think when you've been fat you're conscious of anything that might make you look even bigger. I wonder if I need to get a bit braver in terms of trying looser styles and trusting that I'll still look slim (!) - and also ordering smaller things! It'd be ok if I lived near a shopping centre but I don't.

First world problems I know but I just want my wardrobe sorted so I can think about other things! I got dressed three times this morning...nothing felt right.
 
I'm nowhere near target yet, but I am having similar problems with clothes. A lot of my stuff is too big for me now, or looks shapeless from being stretched around a bigger me. But I am not really in a size smaller yet, so I am stuck with very little that looks ok.

I ordered clothes recently online, and used the measuring guide on the website. They were far too big. Yet I don't think a smaller size would have fit. The shops are miles away from here, but I'll have to make a trip and spend a bit of time trying different sizes in different shops.

Though I don't really want to buy much yet, I want to lose another bit first.
 
I get that too Niamh - even when I measure myself and then go for the lower end, things are still sometimes too big. Another example of vanity sizing perhaps? Damn annoying anyway.

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I forgot to weigh myself on Monday so did it yesterday - 10st10 so at the top end of my acceptable range. Trying to be sensible this week then will have a really good 'push' on period week to try and get a few lb off again! I'm trying to just take it a day at a time and be as 'good' as I can. Usually means one small snack in the daytime plus an evening drink, and as much exercise as I can manage.
 
Hi Gwella...I saw your post on the target thread so followed your link to here...
I was really impressed with your plans to tackle maintenance! As we all know, it's not easy to stay around that target weight without some effort. I like the way you're analysing each step of the way and doing your best to learn by it.
I have to admit that I tend to have a splurge after weigh in which often regret because I end up feeling sluggish!!
Keep going, you're doing very well.
 
Hi Janet, thanks for dropping in! I know my way of doing it is very specific to me, but I'm determined to figure this out. I saw my mum go up and down from diet to diet and I just don't want to go there.

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So far my Monday weigh-ins since hitting target have been: 10st8, 10st7.5, 10st9, 10st8.5, 10st11, 10st10, 10st11 (and back down to 10st9 today as I lost my PMT water weight). A slight upward trend but I'm not too worried as I'm back within my range. Ideally long-term I want to be maintaining at a couple of lbs less, but I'm having a bit of 'down' patch lately in terms of happiness and mental health so as long as I stay between 10st7 and 10st10 post-PMT, that's fine.

Mainly I'm having about 3-4 hexes (not including bread) and too many syns each day, largely from alcohol - I don't drink masses but I drink most days lately. I'm getting away with it mostly because I'm exercising a lot. I am going to challenge myself to cut down a lot on alcohol for the next couple of weeks (starting Monday), though haven't decided whether to go teetotal for a bit or not. I'm actually a bit scared that I'd fail and then dislike myself.
 
Gwella...I'm no expert because I don't drink alcohol at all. But can you try and be alcohol free during the week and then have some at the w/e? I know that will possibly mean that you'll have to maybe find something else to 'drink' at the times you'd be reaching for the bottle & glass. Maybe give that some thought? Apart from anything else it may actually help your 'down patch' and be generally better for your health. Just my thoughts you understand...no criticism intended. :bighug:
 
Yes, I think ultimately drinking just at weekends (unless I'm out with friends) is my ideal. I know it isn't healthy that I drink to relax (especially as I didn't even enjoy the glass of red I had yesterday!). I do need to think of other ways to signal 'home time'. I used to like Virgin Mary cocktails so might try that again...
 
10st10 this morning, so right at the top of my personal allowed range (probably will be 10st12 at group tomorrow, so still ok for free membership by my official allowed range).

I had a big chat with my bf yesterday and realised things need to change. I can't honestly remember a time in my adult life when I've been properly happy, except a short period while I was travelling in India. I've just got used to being sad, and resigned to it - as long as I'm not in a full-blown episode of major depression (has happened about 3 times) or very anxious, I just accept it. But my bf has been convincing me that this isn't normal and I should be able to get help with it. I've been reading about dysthymia and I fit the descriptions perfectly. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to discuss whether they can get me any help, even though I don't currently have major depression/big anxiety issues. If not I think I ought to consider help via a charity or even privately except that money is a big constraint. I'm sick of living like this.

My alcohol consumption has gone up a fair bit again in recent months which obviously doesn't help - not masses, but most days. I even 'feel' like it's toxic when drinking it now and I'm not drinking for the 'right' reasons. I'm therefore starting with baby steps and giving up booze til Friday, so that's four days off. Hopefully I will have a bit more energy and motivation and can work some more on my current job application.
 
Gwella your bf sounds like a gem!! I know sometimes we don't like labels but it does help when it comes to getting much needed help. I hope the doctor's appointment tomorrow is a productive one and you find out what is available to help you through this time.
Hope your group weigh in is a good one...I sometimes think it's a shame we have to weigh with clothes on!! lol.
 
I really hoped I'd never have to post this post, but I'm back on here because I've gained quite a lot of weight back and I really need to sort it out. I'm embarrassed and I wonder if 'admitting' what is going on will actually help. So, deep breath.

On 8th September I was 10st10.
This morning I was 11st10.

At first it came on slowly - a couple of pounds on, a couple off, until Christmas when I was 11stone. I then put on 8lb over Christmas (still haven't really figured out how). Then I kept going up and down by a couple of pounds until last week, when I went to France and put on the final 2lb meaning I've gained a stone.

The culprits? Mainly snacking and alcohol, but also a few more quick meals like pizza every now and then, and extra healthy but fattening things like nuts and wholemilk yogurt. I have got quite 'binge-y' - I come home from work and 'treat' myself to a few snacks and drinks to try to make my life feel a bit better.

I have carried on with some exercise like cycling, but haven't been to the gym for about 6 weeks (I stopped to go on holiday and never got back into it - find it really hard to motivate myself to do anything at the moment, especially with the horrible grey evenings). Hopefully the return to summer will really help with that!

Since my last post I got referred to a therapist for CBT, and my mental health also declined quite a lot. The CBT is helping but I am still not in a great place what with still being stuck in a job I hate, and many other issues. My alcohol consumption has stabilised a bit after shooting up in October, but it's still somewhat too high.

My clothes are getting very uncomfortable and my knees hurt again. My skin is actually really good lately but I know it's only a matter of time before my PCOS symptoms start coming back.

My plan for now is to try to return to a rough version of the old SW plan (I know it has recently changed), eating vegetarian plus some fish and having 1-2 HexBs (mix of fibres and healthy oils) and a HexA each day. I am starting off gently with good intentions and counting of syns, and trying not to beat myself up too much. The first task is to beat the bingeing impulse rather than limit myself too severely.

So:

Monday
Breakfast: 2 Alpen light bars (B)
Lunch: onion, carrot, greens, lentils, sweet potato
Snacks: pineapple, 2 slices ginger cake brought back from France (16), piece of barfi (2)
Dinner: sp onion, cucumber, tomato, pepper, coriander, capers, beans, rice, sweetcorn, feta (A+0.9), mustard ½ tsp (0.3)
Drinks: 250ml glass red wine (8.5)

Totals: 1B (fibre), 1A, 27.7 syns.
 
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Updating midway through the day to help keep me on track!

I forgot my breakfast but managed to keep my willpower and dropped off at Tesco for Alpen lights rather than something sticky :)

I went to the gym at lunchtime as all our office servers were down and we couldn't get anything done. It did feel good to be back there especially as it didn't mean cycling home in the dark afterwards! I got a little buzz when my Gym playlist started up, and enjoyed feeling the blood rush around and my muscles get stretched. I did feel rather more like an elephant than a gazelle on the treadmill but hopefully that won't last too long.

Today I did 10mins intervals on the treadmill (ran 1.46km on a 1% incline - my aim is 1.66km), and 5mins intervals on the erg (rowed 1.05km - my aim is 2.2km in 10mins). Plus bodyweight exercises and stretches.

Enjoyed my latte much more than usual given that it was after the gym and it felt like I was actually nourishing myself (milk is a good recovery drink) rather than taking in extra.I'm hoping I can get back into a more mindful way of eating and really enjoying things within SW limits, without becoming afraid of food.

This week my main motivation is my friend's wedding on Saturday. I bought a lovely dress just before Christmas which looked great on me, but it's now a bit tight and the shape isn't as good. I'm doing all I can to avoid bloat before then, so have a good reason to exercise, avoid alcohol/sugar, and get lots of fibre and water.Going to the gym will hopefully also make me a bit more glow-y! I will enjoy champagne at the wedding much more if I avoid booze til then.

*Note later on: the disadvantage of exercising early in the day is that it makes me RAVENOUS for the rest of the day. I suppose this is my metabolism kicking in, but it meant I did go over my syns after snacking on an extra Nakd bar. Sigh!

Tuesday
Breakfast: 2 Alpen light bars (B)
Lunch: onion, cucumber, tomato, pepper, coriander, beans, rice, sweetcorn, feta (A+0.9), mustard 1 tsp (0.5)
Post-gym drink: latte (7.7)
Snacks: pineapple, Mullerlight, pistachios (B)
Dinner: onion, courgette, mushroom, pepper, tomato, chillis, beans, quornmince, sweetcorn, sweet potato SW chips
Snacks: Nakd bar (6.9), cordial (3.8)

Totals: 2Bs (1 fibre, 1 oil), 1A, 19.8syns
 
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Sooooo hungry and busy today. Went to the pub with colleagues after work and had dinner there, but was reasonably sensible. I'm still well over on syns, but feel like I'm regaining control over my food and drink, which was the first goal.Really aching from the gym!

Wednesday

Breakfast: 2 Alpen light bars (B)
Snack: Nakd bar (6.9)
Lunch: onion, courgette, mushroom, pepper, tomato, chillis, beans, quornmince, sweetcorn, sweet potato SW chips
Snacks: Bakewell slice (7.2), papaya, Danio yogurt (1.5)
Dinner: salmon, salad, green beans, potato, olives (0.5), some kind of dressing (B+3?)
Drinks: half pint of ale (3.5) half pint of cider (4.5)
Snack: cheese (A), cordial (4)

Totals: 2Bs (1 fibre, 1 oil), 1A, syns 35.1ish
 
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Not the most slimming day. I ran some training this morning which was quite stressful, and as I was so reluctant to get out of bed I didn't end up making a filling breakfast, so munched on biscuits mid-morning (oops).

Due to eating out last night there were no leftovers for my lunch - I aimed to be sensible at M&S and think I succeeded ok. The mayo on the Waldorf salad wasn't the best but I really fancied those crunchy veggies and walnuts and I want to encourage 'healthy' food cravings and not being afraid of food! Likewise I focused on making my dinner (Burmese curry) really tasty so that I could make the most of my healthy meal.Ended up having a drink this evening out of tiredness, but I feel like I am doing much better at stopping after a reasonably sensible amount and not just gorging myself. It's also good getting back into the counting mindset - I thought I remembered how high in syns some things are, but the consciousness of it was definitely fading.

Thursday

Breakfast: 2 Alpen light bars (B)
Snacks: 5 jaffa cakes (12.5), 1 digestive (3.5), mini piece of cake (4?)
Lunch: M&S waldorf salad; M&S rice/aubergine/lentil salad (DON'T KNOW)
Snacks: 1 apple biscuit (3?), mini piece of cake (4?)
Dinner: tbsp oil (B), onion, tomatoes, okra, eggs, miso, rice
Drinks: 500ml lager (10)

2Bs (1 fibre, 1 oil), no As (oops), Syns: 37 (oh dear!) plus dressings/raisins/nuts in my lunch

Plan for tomorrow:
Breakfast: 2 Alpen light bars (B)
Lunch: tbsp oil (B), onion, tomatoes, okra, eggs, miso, rice
Snack: papaya
Dinner: pasta with veggie sauce, yogurt

I was planning to go to the gym tomorrow, but haven't quite decided yet. I want to be able to dance at my friend's wedding and at the moment the gym is REALLY making me ache!
 
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Hi Gwella, good to see you back again and posting your updates.
I do appreciate how hard you're working to get control back of eating and drinking and looking at your diary I'd say you're making progress. Just the awareness is helping you make some better choices.
I know you said in your new 1st post that you gained a stone back...but that was almost over 6 months and I'm sure you'll soon make some headway into losing the pounds again. Well done for getting back to the gym sessions.
Glad you have your friends wedding coming this w/e and hope the dress looks alright too. Anyway...all eyes will be focused on the bride!!
 
Thanks Janet - it's lovely to have your support.

An update for the last few days. Haven't really got time to figure out the syns but will note it all anyway.

Friday was going ok until late afternoon when I cracked a bit and had some cake (should've stuck to my papaya). I was so relieved it was the weekend, but also a bit stressed due to leaving my phone at work, and then my bf telling me had norovirus and couldn't come to my friend's wedding, and I went a bit 'binge-y' with chocolate and drinks - not masses, but more than I meant to have.

Saturday was the wedding, which was lovely. I prepared with a big breakfast and taking a fruit salad so that I wouldn't end up nibbling too much. Dinner was tasty and I wasn't stuffed. I was too busy dancing and missed the cake! Alcohol intake was pretty high though.

Today we had lunch out but I skipped fish and chips for a lasagne (which was quite cheesy), and had a creme egg on my way home due to sugar cravings (probably down to last night's boozing!) I'm planning a nice healthy blackbean sauce stirfry for dinner.

I do feel slightly thinner than last week but tomorrow's scales shall tell if my efforts to reign back have had any effect! If they've prevented me from gaining more than that's something.

Friday
Breakfast: 2 Alpen lights
Lunch: tbsp oil, onion, tomatoes, okra, eggs, miso, rice
Snacks: 2 bits of cake
Dinner: cucumber, pak choi, yogurt, trout, 2 tbsp tandoori paste
Snacks: a Twirl bar
Drinks: a mini bottle of red wine, small bottle of Leffe

Saturday (friend's wedding)
Breakfast: 2 slices eggy bread, caramel spread, strawberries
Lunch: Mixed fruit and 2 mini scones
Drink: coffee latte
Dinner: bread roll and butter, goat's cheese tart, veggies/mash/creamy mushrooms, little bit of lemon mousse
Drinks: a LOT!

Sunday
Breakfast: 2 Alpen lights
Lunch: veggie lasagne with lots of salad, bread roll and butter
Snacks: coffee latte, creme egg
Dinner: stirfried veggies, blackbeans/vermouth, noodles
 
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