ZenDogNine
Full Member
I hope I don't get a negative response for this because it's just a thought really.
I am obese (Size 20/22) and my boyfriend is slim and does a lot of exercise/eats healthy. He met and fell in love with me when I was big. But he was happiest with me when I lost 5 stone and was a Size 14/16 (not slim!). Now I am about 17st 7lb again and he still loves me but...
...he misses the 'smaller' me. When I lost 5 stone I smiled more, I laughed more, I was more playful, more interested in sex, less focused on being negative, had more confidence, cared about my own health (ate well, exercised a lot and even did a triathlon) - in short, I was the best version of myself he had ever known and he was crazy about me. He is sad because he has lost that 'me' - not because I was slimmer, looked better etc, but because of all the other stuff. He wants that back because, as much as I get defensive and say 'Oh, but I am the same person so if someone likes me slim and doesn't like me big then they can jog on' - for me, the truth is, I wasn't the same person!
I want him to marry me - but my weight and lifestyle and eating habits mean that he has a greater chance of being forced into dealing with illness and impairment caused by those things. I want a baby and so does he, but our chances are smaller because I am so overweight so I may struggle to conceive, and if I did conceive without issues, my pregnancy is possibly more dangerous for me and my baby because of my weight and that would cause him worry and concern - and if we were really lucky and neither of those were an issue - when the baby is here I would be able to do less with him or her because my weight is limiting because I am simply not as fit or healthy.
I would not date me if I were a man...and I am not sure that I would date a man who was significantly overweight. That does sound very wrong, I know, but being overweight does place stresses on a relationship that would possibly not be there otherwise. I of all people know how harsh that sounds - because I am the significantly overweight person. I really hope this makes sense and I don't sound like a terrible person!
I am obese (Size 20/22) and my boyfriend is slim and does a lot of exercise/eats healthy. He met and fell in love with me when I was big. But he was happiest with me when I lost 5 stone and was a Size 14/16 (not slim!). Now I am about 17st 7lb again and he still loves me but...
...he misses the 'smaller' me. When I lost 5 stone I smiled more, I laughed more, I was more playful, more interested in sex, less focused on being negative, had more confidence, cared about my own health (ate well, exercised a lot and even did a triathlon) - in short, I was the best version of myself he had ever known and he was crazy about me. He is sad because he has lost that 'me' - not because I was slimmer, looked better etc, but because of all the other stuff. He wants that back because, as much as I get defensive and say 'Oh, but I am the same person so if someone likes me slim and doesn't like me big then they can jog on' - for me, the truth is, I wasn't the same person!
I want him to marry me - but my weight and lifestyle and eating habits mean that he has a greater chance of being forced into dealing with illness and impairment caused by those things. I want a baby and so does he, but our chances are smaller because I am so overweight so I may struggle to conceive, and if I did conceive without issues, my pregnancy is possibly more dangerous for me and my baby because of my weight and that would cause him worry and concern - and if we were really lucky and neither of those were an issue - when the baby is here I would be able to do less with him or her because my weight is limiting because I am simply not as fit or healthy.
I would not date me if I were a man...and I am not sure that I would date a man who was significantly overweight. That does sound very wrong, I know, but being overweight does place stresses on a relationship that would possibly not be there otherwise. I of all people know how harsh that sounds - because I am the significantly overweight person. I really hope this makes sense and I don't sound like a terrible person!