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Thread: Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

  1. #5011
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    Hugs Jennie. Sorry to hear about Shrek's mum though. That won't have helped how you are feeling.

    Irene xx

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  2. #5012
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    Little Miss Biker's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about Shreks Mum - that can only make the feelings about your own dear Mum so much more raw....

    You're such a lovely person you deserve oodles of happiness and I truly hope you get that .....

    Love n hugs x
    Note to Self. 'When things get tough remind yourself. Exactly HOW bad do you want this?


  3. #5013
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    So happy you are back! sorry about the news of Shreks mum. Such sadness. Wishing you well. xx
    The food you eat can be either the safest& most powerful form of medicine
    or
    the slowest form of poison

    My Diary My New Diary!
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  4. #5014
    Im always here!

    FatFairNForty(ish)'s Avatar
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    Where to begin.... will try not to be too drepressing, so will get the negative out of the way first...


    Shrek's mum dying has been awful. It brought back all my feelings and memories from when my darling mum was ill and dying and after.. so terribly, terribly sad.


    Then, just as I'm kind of getting to grips with that, I got called into a meeting at work on Friday and was told they were laying me off because the business is in a mess financially.


    So now, I'm once again on the employment scrapheap. It's not a good feeling, especially when, within half an hour of that, one of my colleagues swans into the office and tells me he has got a pay rise - what a real kick in the teeth! I'm going to wait and see if I get the 2 weeks 'redundancy' pay they promised me. Not going to hold my breath.


    Got some major issues with daughter's fiancee. Can't really say too much other than that if he doesn't clean up his act I shall make damned sure he has no rights regarding her baby!


    I'm totally worn out, wrung out, and fed up. Lovelife is challenging to say the least and weight is rising instead of reducing. I need to get a grip and turn things around, but to be absolutely honest, I'm beginning to feel I've got no fight left in me.


    I'm hopefully going for an informal job interview at lunchtime today - there's the possibility of a temporary part-time job doing admin for a nursing home. Fingers crossed eh?


    So much has gone on in my life since mum died and when I look back over my diary pages, I wonder if I shall ever find my va-va-voom again.


    My grandchild is going to be a boy I just hope that nothing happens to my beautiful daughter or her little one as a result of her fiancee and his demons... if it does, I'll be writing updates from prison... and trust me.... I mean it.


    Sorry - meant to be more positive but am struggling to see the 'silver lining' to all this - especially as it's sodding well snowing again.... think I might just get into some old clothes and check out the loft... see if I actually need or want the junk that's up there and if not, stick it all on freecycle or perhaps ebay?


    Was thinking about seeing if I can get any kind of training to do something different... perhaps teach English as a second language overseas... but I can't be that far from my daughter and grandson....


    I'm thinking maybe learning accountancy? Or a business admin qualification as I've got years of admin experience... Whatever I do, it has to be sitting down as my foot is getting worse each year...


    I'm so tired... lots of little lumps popping up in lots of different places, and now back pain deep inside - just below right shoulder blade.. probably a pulled muscle.


    I've applied for a few jobs but my heart's not really in it...


    I need a miracle.




    Former successful CD'er (and CDC) - now regained half of it but losing it again!

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  5. #5015
    Gen
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    Just big hugs sweetie... sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment... you will bounce back so try be nice to yourself if you can be at all. Much love xxxx

  6. #5016
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    Aw bugger it Jen, its just not fair! Just hope you get your va va vooooom back soon honey x x
    Cheryl x x x


    Lost over 8 stones on Lipotrim/Cambridge

    Gained a bit when quitting smoking, so sorting that out!
















  7. #5017
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    Concentrate on those positives.

    Hugs

    Irene xx

    If you bite it write it






  8. #5018
    Im always here!

    FatFairNForty(ish)'s Avatar
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    Feeling dreadful tonight. Feel utterly rejected by employers, agencies, so-called friends, and my chap and my family.

    He hasn't spoken at all to me today and I had one text around 10.15 am which just said 'morning' and another a few minutes ago, saying goodnight I'm going to sleep!

    I wouldn't mind but I've explained to him a billion times that, as we only see one another at weekends, communication in the week is vital .

    With everything that's happened recently, plus I even sent a text saying it would be really lovely to speak before bed as its been a really tough day , he still hasn't bothered.

    Right now if I had the chance, I would run away and just keep running.,. It's all just too, too much.

    I can't do this any more...




    Former successful CD'er (and CDC) - now regained half of it but losing it again!

    Skydive:http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/6833983

  9. #5019
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    Statistics:
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    Oh sweetie
    God bless

    Hx

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  10. #5020
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    Hugs and more hugs.

    Irene xx

    If you bite it write it






  11. #5021
    love it

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    ((((HUGS))))






    I Dont want it all -I just want enough

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  12. #5022
    Im always here!

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    Oh dear, oh dear, I couldn't just read and run. I feel your despair. I think your va-va-voom and mine have run away together!! If there's one crumb of comfort I can offer, speaking from experience, you have to hit rock bottom before you haul yourself back up again. Last year I scraped the bottom of the barrel in spectacular style, I really excelled myself in finding the lowest scumbag in Europe. What did I do? Well I ran away (obviously) I've piled on more llbs and lost 's so I'm living proof that running away's not the answer. I sincerely hope that things improve for you soon. xxx
    What lies behind you and what lies before you is nothing compared to what lies within you.






  13. #5023
    Im always here!

    FatFairNForty(ish)'s Avatar
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    I've not run away, yet... Just got no energy to do anything. Hopefully got an interview this week but right now I just keep crying and sleeping. Diet has gone right out of the window. I seem to have lost my sense of humour too... I'm just a fat miserable, moaning mare!




    Former successful CD'er (and CDC) - now regained half of it but losing it again!

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  14. #5024
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    You have every reason to moan, so moan away.

    Irene xx

    If you bite it write it






  15. #5025
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    Little Miss Biker's Avatar
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    Diet: S&S
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    Start BMI: 28.2
    Current BMI: 28.2
    Goal BMI: 23


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    % Lost 0%
    Well Jennie i haven't been there all the way through but i followed you retrospectively all the way through and i can see you have your friends here again for you ....

    you are incredibly strong I've seen that but this will be enough to put anyone back...

    I do hope you have just mislaid your va-va-voom and lost it completely.
    Note to Self. 'When things get tough remind yourself. Exactly HOW bad do you want this?


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