Amy's Diary

[Last_Timer]

I look forward to supporting you through this. If you wouldn't mind doing the same. I don't ever want to binge again it has ruined my life in terms of appearance and food. Love hate relationship.
BMI is 30.5 so still just obese but hopefully next week I will only be overweight!! Yay! Ha xx

 

[pudge]

Of course i will support you I completely agree. Its tough having been (see using past tense ) a binger, because its such a secretive thing. I remember going to my slim friends house and she said, oh i tried to be healthy today but i had 2 creme eggs and a big bag of crisps and i ate them all...
if only she knew that i could triple that easily.

But.... this is a new time for us, time for change and all that

Its such a love hate thing, youre right.As we get older it just gets in the way, so lets be done with it! ...

yaayyyy for next weeks weigh in..thats another milestone that will be reached! Bet you never thought youd be happy to be overweight eh?

onwards and downwards! x

 

[Last_Timer]

Yeah I have had exactly same experience with a friend. Bunged on a muffin before her dinner...
Erm a binge for me is 12 kitkats 10 bags of crisps, cereal bars, toast, spoonfuls of peanut butter out the jar, sweets that belong to the kids even something I have thrown in the bin before to stop me eating it I have retrieved before :-( but yes it's a thing of the past.
It never ever makes me feel better only worse. In terms of appearance, health, feeling sick, guilt, remorse and being disgusted with myself. Loose skin and stretchmarks will always be a reminder of how I abused the only body I am going to get.
Need to love myself xx

 

[pudge]

Thats it, you gotta love yourself. At the end of the day when we meet people for the first time, we dont want them to see that we have struggled with our life and our past and therefore have been unable to be happy and look after ourselves. We want people to see that we can get over any obstacle and not take peoples comments, actions to heart... as cheesy as that may sound!

theres only one way girlie,, and this is it We must be happy that we have decided to make this change!...


ohhh how peoples faces will drop when they see us, and how our mind will have so much space in it to think about normal things and not what time is a decent time to order food from down the road!


thats the old us- the new us will be slim healthy, but with quite smelly breath for the next little while ha x

 

[Fizzylolly]

Think you are doing so well Amy! I've not started the CD yet as have party to go to next Saturday (will involve A LOT of drinking! ) so Consultant said to start the Monday after. I've been proper binging on Easter eggs all weekend, which has left me feeling so sick! Anyway just wanted to say hi! can't wait to get this diet going!! xx

 

[Last_Timer]

Hi FizzyLolly,
Thank you. Yes get it out of your system as it will be the last time in your life you are ever going to do it. You have to make that choice. Let me know how you find your first day.

Pudge you're so right about other people. I know a lot of this is about me and doing it for myself but with over eating it is visible to everyone. Plenty of people have problems with addiction with spending, alcohol, smoking, sex anything! But when it's food the whole world can see at a glance that I have the problem. That I lack control. Then people judge.
I want to be In control of my life.


Week 1 -9 1/4 lb

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[Last_Timer]

Day 9
B- fruits of forest shake
L- veg soup
D- strawb shake

Had to sit whilst my family had roast today and first time I told them I was doing cwp.
Reaction was ok. My sis lost. 7st with SW and made a small remark about knowing that fad diets dont work and slow and steady is the best way.
We will see if she still thinks that when I am 9.7st and still maintaining


Week 1 -9 1/4 lb

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[Gemzo84]

Hi Amy, good for you. Defos gets easier to be around food. X

 

[pudge]

glad you told them hun,, regardless of what their reaction is,, this is yourrr life! .. youre doing great x

 

[Last_Timer]

Day 10
Good day today. Another SS day nothing more to pass my lips.
Had my best friend round who is a natural 8st and at 7months pregnant has not gained a stone yet!
Didn't want to tell her about CD and when she started slagging of her 'ridiculous' work colleagues and their diets as they have started a weight group at work and are all following weight watchers. Saying diets make people fat, crappy powdered soups, rubbish weight watchers meals etc.
She doesn't get the psychological aspect of weight gain and overheating. It's actually not about the food!
So I didn't tell her and when she notices the weigh loss ill tell her then or maybe only at the end. Avoided her meal out so far.


Week 1 -9 1/4 lb

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[pudge]

you go girlie! well done.... and overheating? guess you meant overeating,,, i dont know about you but i overHEAT alll the time too! another reason to lose weight! feel like im at menopause with my hot flushes and im only 22 ha!

its all in the head youre so right..gotta keep your head in the game yay to another day done!x

 

[Last_Timer]

Ha ha yeah over eating damn iPad corrections!
What is your masters in if you don't mind me asking?

You sound so similar to me. I am so disciplined with studying, cleaning, bedtime, organisation, keeping dates, timekeeping...and no discipline for eating.
People joke I am like sheldon or I have OCD because I am so controlling but maybe I am like this because of the one area of my life I can't control. Hmmm


Week 1 -9 1/4 lb

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[pudge]

Im doing a masters in psychiatric research hoping ill get into the clinical doctorate in psychology afterwards!

My father thinks, and im inclined to agree, that its because we cant control it that we perfect everything else, it makes us feel better to have everything else under control so everyone thinks that we have got it together, when deep down we are really struggling.

Then again you could look at our relationship with food a different way. we might have the relationship with food the way it is because were scared of being with someone so we stay big, or we dont know what its like to be slim so we stay big because its what we know, or for some people its because they feel like if theyre big they wont get hurt, either emotionally or physically.

So much mental stuff involved with all this its crazy!... i love the big bang theory by the way x

 

[Kirsteenie]

Your doing so well I've been following posts on here for a while now and It really helps me to feel more motivated and continue rather than just giving up which is definatley the easier option. xx

 

[Last_Timer]

Kirsteenie, hello. Glad my posts help. I just need to be accountable for my food actions and I feel I can do this here.
Hope you are getting on well with your plan? Xx

 

[Last_Timer]

Me too love Big Bang
Yeah I have weird thoughts. Like if being slim is the only 'wrong thing' in my life I don't have. If I get slim with something worse happen, to my face, or to my kids or home :-/ horrible thought.

Have you read Willpower by Tierney and Baumeister? You prob have lots of psych books but it we such a great easy read and helped me a lot. That actually overweight people don't always have low will power (delay gratification) as its different to timekeeping productivity etc.
Uses Oprah as a case study as she is so successful but always struggled with weight.
I studied philosophy at Uni and am doing an MA Education as I am a teacher. I understand so much I feel about behaviour yet I can't apply it to myself.

 

[Last_Timer]

Sitting in town watching my family eat subway...that's why I am on here!! It will be worth it.
Just bought a pair of mint green h&m jeans that I want to be in before the peak of summer.
Size 14
I'm a real 18 now but I think their 14 may be a 12 :-/ x

 

[Anastazia35]

Sitting in town watching my family eat subway...that's why I am on here!! It will be worth it.
Just bought a pair of mint green h&m jeans that I want to be in before the peak of summer.
Size 14
I'm a real 18 now but I think their 14 may be a 12 :-/ x

you will get to that soon hun.
xxxxxxxxx

 

[pudge]

Me too love Big Bang
Yeah I have weird thoughts. Like if being slim is the only 'wrong thing' in my life I don't have. If I get slim with something worse happen, to my face, or to my kids or home :-/ horrible thought.

Have you read Willpower by Tierney and Baumeister? You prob have lots of psych books but it we such a great easy read and helped me a lot. That actually overweight people don't always have low will power (delay gratification) as its different to timekeeping productivity etc.
Uses Oprah as a case study as she is so successful but always struggled with weight.
I studied philosophy at Uni and am doing an MA Education as I am a teacher. I understand so much I feel about behaviour yet I can't apply it to myself.

Hi chickaroo..

Good job on avoiding subway! youll have to put up a pic once youre in those jeans hang them up somewhere so you can see them every day to keep you focused!

I think that deep down id be really peed off if something worse happens to us once we get this sorted...i mean,,, weve had to deal with this for sooooo long!

i havent read that actually,, ill pop on amazon and have a look. True,, its funny because if anyone asked me if i wanted to be Oprah i would say yes,, because she has helped so many people and is just quite an amazing person. Even though she has always struggled with her weight!.. we need to take our own advice for once!! ha.. what age children do you teach? how is the masters going, are you enjoying it? x

 

[Last_Timer]

Hey pudge,
How has your day been today?
I was so tempted to eat just one kernel of sweet corn tonight when making kids dinner but I didn't. I have had a couple of Smints tho as my breath honks

I am a secondary RE teacher. Studying is ok. I am possibly a little over if now but then I get bursts of keenness. Sounds like how I diet too!

B-banana shake (only ok)
L- butterscotch shake made in car again!
D- tomato soup

Lots of water and peppermint tea!

Xx