Core strength

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LL session this morning. I'm keen to keep things simple and keep focused on my reasons for doing this. To free myself up from emotional eating. To feel good about myself. I don't want to get caught up in the casing about how much I weigh. Maybe I'll suggest she doesn't tell me?

 

[Minerva]

Well the choice is up to you, my partner does that when he's on a diet, he doesn't know how much he weighs at the beginning and doesn't care what he loses each week, he just goes by how his clothes feel. I think he's happier for it, because there's no numbers to get hung up on. But at the same time, he goes off the rails that little bit easier too... But with LL at least it's quite clear cut, I guess, you could ask your LL consultant to tell you when you reach certain targets? But not weight every week. Small losses will happen and they are always so disappointing.

 

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I lost weight pounds this week according to her scales. I think I lose focus when I think that the scales matter. I'm doing this:
For my health
For my liver
For my daughter
For overcoming an unhealthy relationship with food.
For overcoming low self esteem.
For genuine self care and genuine self compassion.
In the past I've transferred the measure of self worth to the scales, but this time I'm taking it back

 

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Really lovely swim! LL bar just before and pot lentils in the café after! Brilliant! Those pots are a winner as most places will have hot water even if I have to buy a cup of tea without the tea bag!

I'm not messing with Lighter Life - keeping it as simple as possible.

I still have one pack and a scotch broth drink and maybe a whole jelly before bed! That's tonnes! This is fab!

 

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Jelly for breakfast, then I was passing home at 11ish so popped in for a shake thinking that was a late breakfast.. then the mistake I made was at 1ish when I used my bar as a snack rather than having a lentil pot, because I still needed 'lunch' and before I knew it I was stressed, at work, had had three packs and was having a tricky afternoon. I left and went home and it felt compulsive to have another bar! So! That's it for today! I could have a scotch broth... At least I've finished work for today so that stress has gone... But it's definitely an early night to cope tonight!

 

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Well I did cope

It's Wednesday and I'm at work. So far today I've had a porridge and a Biriani! and that's it! Oh and a scotch broth!
So I'll get home from work and still have two packs to go I think a milk shake and then see what I fancy.. today's easy but tomorrow might be tricky - a long boring day at work with too much to do but no motivation to do it!

 

[Jellybabie]

well done, you are doing fab! I love to keep 2 packs for night when i get home too lol. There has even been a few times that have had 3 to come home to! A true feast haha

Diane xxx

 

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I've survived today but it's not been easy
.. four packs, a jelly, a scotch broth, a stick of celery (oops!) and some at st Clements that tastes of tictacs need bed time now!!

 

[Jellybabie]

Stay strong. You CAN do this!
Diane xxx

 

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Another good meeting this morning - and another four pounds off - I'm not going to pretend for a second that it's easy, but it's far easier than I imagine when I'm thinking I can't do it - and far harder than I imagine when I'm thinking 'f*ck it - I can easily lose the weight later, so I'll eat what I like right now".
I'm thinking I need to build "distress tolerance", and I'm thinking I need to find a way to be less effected by other people's behaviour.

There was a lady there today who I'd really like to be actual genuine friends with outside of the group, but I have made that mistake before - attending this group has to be for me and about me and not about the other people who are there - however well we get on - I'm so easily knocked off my perch and I really have to stay focused and stick to this being purely about me and meeting my needs. I'm going to need to find a way to explain that next week, because I'd like her to know that under other circumstances I'd love to be mates.

I'm always knocked off balance when I think of this process as interpersonal rather than intrapersonal. This has to be about my relationship with myself. I don't have the capacity to do more than that. I need to find a way to become a bit more selfish - not in an unkind way, but in a self-care kind of way...

 

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Starting to struggle a little today - I've already had a drink pack and a bar. I'm hoping I'll just be busy enough to not care this afternoon

No idea how I'm going to manage the next three days?! I'm on a training course in London, so leaving at 6 and home at 9, for three days - and with a bunch of people i don't know... Hmmm

 

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I've accidentally survived a training course today on one bar and lots of mint tea! Complete accident! I was just loving what i was doing!! Can i really have three packs before bedtime?? Guess i have to!!

 

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I ended up having a risotto and a chocolate milkshake last night and just didn't have time or space in my tummy for a third.. so i guess i should have five today! I took a multi vitamin before bed and I'm taking psyllium husk too.. I'm sure one too few as a one off won't be the end of the world.. i might try to have five today!?!

 

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Tired and still on my way home - I've had two bars today but i can't remember whether i had a shake before i left this morning - i left the house at about 5 for the train and I've had a long old day. Due home in about an hour...

 

[Minerva]

You must be exhausted You're managing really well, but it does seem like these long days on hardly any food are killer. Just one more day and then back to normal (I hope)?
I guess because you're consuming so little on a VLCD as it is, you're on the borderline between slipping into starvation mode which will make the body a) more likely to try to desperately hang on to everything and b) break down more of your muscle for energy rather than fat. The packs also provide all base nutrition you need for the day, so do really try to get all of them in. One or two days should be ok, but no more. x

 

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Yeah - i only managed three packs, a vitamin tablet and some psillium husk tablets yesterday.. plus tonnes of water..

Today I've had two bars and a possibly a shake in my sleep but i can't remember! I'll have two tonight and then I'll have either had four or five..

Only one more day and then Saturday's a normal day

 

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Course finished!! I did accidentally dip in to the free buffet today for some chicken which was a bit random and unexpected, but I have been so good all week, and so knackered! I'm sure it wont have done any major harm

 

[ToffeesMum]

It sounds as if you are absolutely on plan. A bit of chicken or tuna is my go to food if I need a bit extra but I do Exante Man Plan.
I too need to get on with things, weight wise. I find it hard at work when everyone is stuffing chips, burgers etc but I try and keep out of the way so that I can't smell the chips. Then I eat my salad and drink extra water.
Looking at your avatar info, it looks like you are doing well anyway. I have no doubt that you will reach your goal.

 

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It sounds as if you are absolutely on plan. A bit of chicken or tuna is my go to food if I need a bit extra but I do Exante Man Plan.
I too need to get on with things, weight wise. I find it hard at work when everyone is stuffing chips, burgers etc but I try and keep out of the way so that I can't smell the chips. Then I eat my salad and drink extra water.
Looking at your avatar info, it looks like you are doing well anyway. I have no doubt that you will reach your goal.

Thank you! I think I'm going to have to accept that it's chips or life for me for ever - That's not me in the avatar! It's just a funny picture from online because she's looking at the weighing scales she's balancing on her feet I couldn't get my legs up that far!!!

Weigh-day today, but it's really important to me that this is about the process and not about the scales. I want to be thinking in terms of the meetings, and not in terms of the scales - hard to do after years of becoming obsessed with them!

 

[ToffeesMum]

Thank you! I think I'm going to have to accept that it's chips or life for me for ever - That's not me in the avatar! It's just a funny picture from online because she's looking at the weighing scales she's balancing on her feet I couldn't get my legs up that far!!!

Weigh-day today, but it's really important to me that this is about the process and not about the scales. I want to be thinking in terms of the meetings, and not in terms of the scales - hard to do after years of becoming obsessed with them!

I actually meant that you've lost 2 stone since your start weight. I hadn't noticed the scales on feet bit. It's not me in my avatar pic either. That's a Cornish Tin Mine. If I get to that size, I'll really start to worry
Do you measure as well? Waist, hips, chest, boobs, upper arm, mid thigh etc. I find that tape measure more helpful in real terms, than the scale. I do a lot of cycling and have a job that I run about a lot in, so I do carry a fair bit of muscle.