I feel so fat and ugly - I want to be slimmer and happy

[tangerine12]

Urggghhhh I don't like the person I've become. I'm scared to step on the scales as I am definitely the fattest I've ever been. I can't get clothes to fit. I wear leggings all day long and at work I wear the same 2 dresses all week. I hate it. I hate myself. My skin is horrible. My hair is horrible. I haven't been intimate with my partner at all this yr. He hasn't said I've put a load of weight on but I know he doesn't find me attractive anymore. I'm irritable and snappy and I know he's always wondering what mood I'm going to be in. I guess I weigh about 18stone 8 or 9 lbs. I've been trying and trying to loose and last 3 wks before I eat a packet of biscuits and a huge family size bar of chocolate.
What I have learned is I can't do this myself. I just can't. Im hoping to get a lot of guidance and support here. I have a 9 month old and I want to be confident enough to take her to the park and soft play without feeling that I just want to hide away.
I don't want to be super slim. Maybe just 14stone would do me a size 16 I would be happy.
Please help me be a happy person. I'm looking forward to getting to know u all x

 

[hopes12]

Hi Tangerine, I'm quite new here and if your guess is right we are starting from about the same weight. I decided to follow slimming world online and have lost 15lb in 3 weeks, down to 17st5lbs now, the weight loss can't possibly stay that fast but it's been a real boost to keeping going this time, I think I had hit rock bottom and had to fix it this time I just need to remember that feeling to make sure I don't stop going forwards. I was lucky enough to perform with Lulu a few weeks ago and we had publicity pictures taken beforehand and I hate them with a passion, I don't ever want to see a picture of me like that again so it has to work this time. Do you have something that's motivating you to lose the weight? If the number of your weight matters to you then you need to get on the scale to see what it is but I know some people go more on clothes sizes so if you feel that way then you don't have to worry about what you actually weigh really0. Do you have a plan for how you will lose the weight? Huge good luck!

Sue

 

[Bigbear]

Hi tangerine,
Welcome and sorry to hear it's not been a good year, but it's great that you've made the first step of coming on here to join the weight loss community, there is lots of support here for you.

Whilst weighing or measuring isn't essential, I have found it really useful in terms of motivation and monitoring progress to have a weekly weigh in, so it's something you might want to do - but if you can't face it, then taking your measurement,s or just going on how you feel would do. Some people buy a piece of clothing in a smaller size and work towards getting into it!

Any idea on what plan you will do? I've learnt the key is finding something that suits you and your Lifestyle - everyone is different! Personally I use slimfast products, but as part of a calorie counting plan, and I try to eat around 1400 cals a day. Works for me, because I have NO Portion control whatsoever, so I need to weigh out my food or buy things in fixed portions. I'm a greedy bear !!!

Wishing you luck, and look forward to getting to know you

 

[tangerine12]

Hi Tangerine, I'm quite new here and if your guess is right we are starting from about the same weight. I decided to follow slimming world online and have lost 15lb in 3 weeks, down to 17st5lbs now, the weight loss can't possibly stay that fast but it's been a real boost to keeping going this time, I think I had hit rock bottom and had to fix it this time I just need to remember that feeling to make sure I don't stop going forwards. I was lucky enough to perform with Lulu a few weeks ago and we had publicity pictures taken beforehand and I hate them with a passion, I don't ever want to see a picture of me like that again so it has to work this time. Do you have something that's motivating you to lose the weight? If the number of your weight matters to you then you need to get on the scale to see what it is but I know some people go more on clothes sizes so if you feel that way then you don't have to worry about what you actually weigh really0. Do you have a plan for how you will lose the weight? Huge good luck!

Wow 15lbs in 3 wks - that's amazing. Huge well done to you. How do u feel? Do u feel ur clothes are looser. I was looking at slimming world online and wondered what it was like. Can u let me know what it's like?
What is it that u do to be performing with lulu. Must have been hugely exciting.
Thanks for ur comments. I'm looking forward to catching up with ur diary and getting to know u better x

 

[tangerine12]

Hi tangerine,
Welcome and sorry to hear it's not been a good year, but it's great that you've made the first step of coming on here to join the weight loss community, there is lots of support here for you.

Whilst weighing or measuring isn't essential, I have found it really useful in terms of motivation and monitoring progress to have a weekly weigh in, so it's something you might want to do - but if you can't face it, then taking your measurement,s or just going on how you feel would do. Some people buy a piece of clothing in a smaller size and work towards getting into it!

Any idea on what plan you will do? I've learnt the key is finding something that suits you and your Lifestyle - everyone is different! Personally I use slimfast products, but as part of a calorie counting plan, and I try to eat around 1400 cals a day. Works for me, because I have NO Portion control whatsoever, so I need to weigh out my food or buy things in fixed portions. I'm a greedy bear !!!

Wishing you luck, and look forward to getting to know you

Hi Bugbear. Thanks so much for getting in touch. I haven't really thought about what plan I'll do. Maybe slimming world but I tried a clean eat diet before and really enjoyed it although I think clean eating is not practical. So probably slimming world.

I also have no portion control at all. I eat massive portions. Tonight I have chilli for dinner and am planning on serving it from a bowl and maybe get myself one if those portion plates.

Thanks for getting in touch. I look forward to reading ur diary and getting to know u x

 

[tangerine12]

So I decided to step on the scales and I was right. Took my measurements and pictures I look absolutely awful.

Anyway today's day:
Breakfast: wholemeal toast x2 and half a banana
Lunch: baked sweet potato with tuna mayo and a muller light yogurt
Snack: 6 crackers (only 21cals per cracker tho) half a banana
Dinner: chilli with rice

 

[Bigbear]

Well done Hun for getting those measurements. You'll hate it now, but it'll soon be feeling great yo see the numbers going down.

I've heard it's a bit difficult to do slimming world if you're not good with portion control, but as long as you know that's a problem for you I am sure you can make it work for you. Lots of people having amazing results with SW.

Today's menu sounds v sensible, nice and filling and good healthy choices

 

[tangerine12]

Thanks bigbear,
Started well this morning. Had porridge for breakfast. Snack was a raw fudge with peanut butter bar. Lunch was baked sweet potato with left over chilli from last night and a tangerine. Tonight's dinner Is salmon with veg. I feel a bit iffy right now. Like I have heartburn and indigestion also feel really tired and have such a headache
Feel like I could sleep for a week

 

[Bigbear]

Try and keep you fluids up, lots of water of sugar free squash.
I sometimes feel all lethargic and headachey when coming off a few days of high fat or high sugar.
Hopefully you'll feel better soon

 

[tangerine12]

Thanks bigbear I feel much better today. Slept loads the past few days but much better today. Don't think I did well today...not a complete fail so I still feel pretty good.

Breakfast: porridge and jam
Lunch: scampi and chips and 1 bit of haggis panoramic one of black pudding and one of chicken
I also had 2 wee squares of tablet you know the ones that come on the side of coffee - well those
Dinner: chorizo and veg pasta

Apart from the tablet I haven't eaten any chocolate or sweets or crisps or biscuits so I'm still quite happy with that. This time last week I would have polished off 8 caramel wafers and a toffee crisp and a cookie and God knows what else.

Feeling quite good and positive.

Also been shopping for lunch things. Salads all the way next week. And also bought some cans of sparkling apple juice instead of the drinking litres of Pepsi max all day.

 

[Bigbear]

A little treat here and there never matters. Sounds like compared to what you were eating you've made amazing progress, well done you!!

When is your next weigh in?

 

[hopes12]

Wow 15lbs in 3 wks - that's amazing. Huge well done to you. How do u feel? Do u feel ur clothes are looser. I was looking at slimming world online and wondered what it was like. Can u let me know what it's like?

Thank you, Im feeling pretty happy to see the scales change but I can't tell any difference yet, 15lb out of 112lb is a drop in the ocean so far but I am optimistic at keeping it coming. I like SW online, I would prefer it if it had forums but that's why I joined minimins, there are a couple of challenges going on at the moment within the SW forum on here that I have joined to help keep me motivated all the info is online and easy to access, I bought the books but haven't used them at all. is there anything specific you want to know?

What is it that u do to be performing with lulu. Must have been hugely exciting.

Im in a Military Wives Choir and she recorded a charity single with one of the choirs so has had choirs backing her at each date on her current tour, I was lucky enough to do it twice and it really was exciting, she was lovely and chatty and we had lots of fun as a group too.

Sounds like you are off to a fantastic start, there's no harm in treats here and there, I'm a firm believer in any weight loss plan having to be part of my life not something that stops me living my life

 

[TwoBiscuitProblem]

I'm going to sound like a total hippy - but although you feel low, and you feel ugly right now - whatever your size you deserve as much happiness / love / success as anybody else. Don't let your weight be the sum of your worth - there is so much more to you than numbers on a scale, and on that front you've made a choice to improve what is making you unhappy so those numbers will be getting smaller and smaller You got this!

 

[Aaleigha]

You have faced up to things
So now it's forward all the way
I do slimming at class with a friend and that has helped me

Minis is great I am sure you will get lots of support
Will pop in every couple of days to watch your progress

 

[tangerine12]

A little treat here and there never matters. Sounds like compared to what you were eating you've made amazing progress, well done you!!

When is your next weigh in?

Yeah I have and feel really good just now.
Should probably weigh on Friday but I don't really want to be addicted to weighing I might try and leave it for a few wks. I know that won't actually happen tho.
Thasks bigbear for all ur support. It's really helped

 

[tangerine12]

I'm going to sound like a total hippy - but although you feel low, and you feel ugly right now - whatever your size you deserve as much happiness / love / success as anybody else. Don't let your weight be the sum of your worth - there is so much more to you than numbers on a scale, and on that front you've made a choice to improve what is making you unhappy so those numbers will be getting smaller and smaller You got this!

Awww thanks for that. It's such a nice thing to say and I know ur right. Thanks for popping by and giving support. It really means a lot. Will pop by ur diary when I have a min

 

[tangerine12]

You have faced up to things
So now it's forward all the way
I do slimming at class with a friend and that has helped me

Minis is great I am sure you will get lots of support
Will pop in every couple of days to watch your progress

Awww thanks. I do feel far much better than I did when I started this. I appreciate u popping by and giving support. It means a lot and it's just what I need. I'll pop by ur diary and take a peek when I have a moment

 

[tangerine12]

Thank you all for ur encouragement and support. It really means a lot. I've struggled to come on the past few days. I'm busy all day at work and looking after my 9 month old. She had me up between 3&5am and I start the day at 6 so I could do with some zzzzzzzzz doesn't mean I've fallen off the wagon in my absence tho.

This is a pic of today's Food. I hope it's worked.
Porridge with jam in the morning
Snack is salt and chilli corn
Lunch is ckn salad
Snack was a nakd bar
Dinner tuna steak with veg

Im also coming down with a cold and feel like I need to drink a can of full sugar coke.....but I won't.

I'll catch up with all your diaries when I have a spare min but for now I need to clean up my lg dinner......she's made such a mess lol!

 

[Aaleigha]

Those meals look lovely

 

[Bigbear]

Haha love the 3 bears porridge.

Wish I like porridge,miss such a good option. Something about the texture just puts me off !!