Total Solution Target = thin at thirty

Over 3 weeks on from my last post and I'm 6lbs up - to be expected after some cheats, a week's all-inclusive holiday and birthdays.

Day 1 of TS today and feeling positive. Choc shake and choc orange bar so far. Looking forward to heading home from work and keeping myself occupied by doing some housework before eating something yummy (carbonara or chilli I think) and watching Dexter. Have all of them recorded so that I can watch them as fast as I like. I'm terribly at watching only an episode a week, either lose interest or forget things and get angry because I can't immediately watch the next episode!

Gemma x
 
Day 1 was fine - 100% TS, but feeling a bit weary this morning. Trying to delay my shake by a little bit too. Must drink lots of water.

Happy I got back on track yesterday. Had planned to do so on Tuesday, but felt too hungry in the morning so figured it could wait another day, but then I'm sure we've all said "tomorrow" on a hundred occasions - which we need to nip in the bud if we're to make this a success!

Happy Thursday everyone - and good luck! x
 
Had a binge last night. Think I'm realising that I eat through boredom more than anything else and I've been quiet at work for a week or so and getting home on time. Must do more to keep myself occupied. Tempted to start some basic exercising, just to keep me busy. Will up it when my body gets used to the diet.

Anyway, as a result of the binge last night, I've decided to restart as of today, and weigh in on Fridays from here on in. Happy as I was 15st 5lbs dead this morning (after 2 days, including the binge). I weighed in on Fridays before when I did CWP in January 2012 and that worked for me. I know it's not the weigh in day that makes a difference but all these little things seem to help me mentally for some reason!
 
I also thought it might be useful to remind myself of why I did CWP back in Jan 2012 and the reasons I gave myself on the CWP forum at that time for doing so. Good motivation I find :) Apologies that it's a bit long!

Why am I doing this?

As we all know, SS on CWP is pretty tough going. It requires you to look at food entirely differently. It's not just willpower, it goes beyond that. So why am I doing it?

1) My brother is getting married in Jamaica in April and I'm a bridesmaid. The bridesmaid dress that the bride-to-be wants only goes up to a size 16. I'm an 18/20 (now just an 18 and a comfortable one at that). I told her that I wouldn't be able to fit into it and I felt absolutely devastated for her. It's her wedding, everything should be exactly as she wants it to be. She was lovely and looked at other bridesmaid dresses but nothing else really did it for her, so she's bought the dress in a size 16 for me. I want it to fit me nicely. I don't want everyone to see me as "the fat bridesmaid". I needed to act, and I needed to act fast. Time to CWP SS me! Note 11/10/2013: I think I looked fantastic at the wedding, at around 13 stone. I'm reasonably tall and broad shouldered so can pull off a bit of 'extra' weight quite well.

2) Similar to the above but, on a more general note, I want to be able to go into a shop, see a nice dress and not think "they won't go up to my size". I want to be able to say "have you got this in a size 12/14 please?" and be able to try them on and feel FABULOUS. Note 11/10/2013: On CWP I got down to a 12 top and 14 bottom and I felt great being able to buy whatever I liked. I have it all still in a spare wardrobe that I get upset to even open. I want to put all that stuff back in my wardrobe!!

3) I've been overweight for years. I was always the fat girl at school. I remember being in year 6 (aged 10) and having to draw portraits of each other. The girl who had to draw mine (Chantelle) asked the teacher "Miss, how do you draw double chins?!" The teacher was gobsmacked, not at the fact that Chantelle had asked the question but that a 10 year old could possible have double chins.

4) My nan wanted me to lose weight (not because she didn't love me exactly how I was but because she knew it would make me happier). She passed away in September 2010 after a short battle with cancer. She would be so proud of me.

5) I have a nephew who is 3. I want to be able to run around playing football etc with him (and to actually WANT to do that rather than just sit on the sofa and watch a film).

6) I want to run a 10k race (and maybe more in future). It seems pretty much physically impossible to do that at my weight. I also want to wingwalk (crazy, I know, but I love the adrenalin). I have to be under 12.5 stone to do this (I started CWP SS at 15st 6.5lbs).

7) I'm still not entirely sure that I know what causes me to eat - am I an emotional eater? Perhaps. Sometimes. Do I eat because I'm bored? Yes. Sometimes. I don't think I can be "classified". But I want to figure this out so that when I come off of CWP I can better maintain/manage my weight. I think CWP can help me with this - cut out "proper" food entirely and record when I have the urge to eat it. Note 11/10/2013: I think I'm more of a boredom eater than an emotional eater.

8) I know you girls are going to hate me for this but it's true - I want to find the man of my dreams (or as close thereto as is possible, I don't live in a dreamland) and think it will be easier to do so if I'm not so fat. Men just don't give fat girls the time of day to figure out how amazing we are. Note 11/10/2013: found him :) And he loves me just as I am, but I'm doing this for me.

9) I think I'll be even more successful at my job if I was slimmer.

10) I want to have the confidence to wear, and look f***ing amazing in, a bikini.
 
Hey, I enjoyed reading through your post about what motivated/motivates you, I think it is vital to re-visit those thoughts again and again. For once, it reminds you where you want to be headed, but it also shows what you have already achieved. Well done you!
 
Thanks Bee and FFB. Your support really helps

This weekend has been a bit of a disaster. Have been decorating with OH so far more exercise than usual, which is good (but exhausting), but am also poorly. Shocking sore throat, itchy eyes, headache, stuffy nose, painful ears, achey etc. This meant that I ate last night.

I don't tend to get ill often (and when I do I don't feel sorry for myself much-I just tend to get on with things as I always feel better when I'm up rather than in bed) but I NEED a lemsip this morning to try and soothe my throat (it hurt to even drink water this morning). On the basis I know I'm not in ketosis so it can't do that much damage I'm having one in bed while OH paints the high bits in the room (I don't fancy going up a ladder with a head like this!). Hopefully I'll feel better by the time he gets on to the colour.

Will try to stick to the 3 packets today but if I feel I need to eat I will, then I'll just get back into the diet when I feel a bit better.

Boo to being poorly.
 
Hey hun! Sorry I haven't checked up over the weekend, out and about. Sorry to hear you've been a poorly girl. Do not worry about things like lemsip, that's medicine, not food! And if you need something to eat then have it, getting well is a priority right now.
How are you feeling today?
 
Hi Gemma. Just read through your diary. You've got a good weight loss so far. I could really identify with your reasons for wanting to lose weight last year apart from wanting to meet the man of your dreams - I was with the man of my nightmares for 30 years and am quite happy to stay divorced! (It wasn't a night mare for all 30 years!). Hope you're feeling better. If not, don't worry about taking medicines - once you're better it will be easier to stay on plan.
 
Had a few days off plan and been off work the last two days. Back on plan today and been 100% so far with one packet to go. Haven't been hungry as have kept myself busy around the house so only ate at about 11 and then at 6:30. Keen to be 100% the next couple of days (save for any necessary medicines) as I head to Amsterdam with work on Friday. I know I probably won't get into ketosis but figure that just over 600 cals a day is going to build up a good loss anyway!

There's an evening meal I can't get out of (but luckily we had to pre-order our food so I've been able to make wise decisions in advance without being tempted by carb-laden foods on the night) and I'll probably have some breakfast on the Sat. Otherwise I hope to stick to plan as there's really not long to go to Christmas and I really would like to hit my target of almost 2 stone by then.

Back to work tomorrow. If I'm still quiet I think I'll get cracking with Christmas shopping online, which should help keep me occupied (as long as I don't go spending money on me!)

Hope you're all well this cold Tuesday evening!

Gemma x
 
How weird, I want to be thin at 30 too....and my birthday is 7th august! :) exact birthday twin :D

Let's hope we get there x
 
Hi Lani - that's really random! Although your goal weight is much less than mine and really will be skinny! Not sure I'm meant to ever be skinny but will see how I feel as I progress.

Have fallen off the bandwagon a couple of times recently but started again on Monday and have so far had 2 days 100%. A couple more under my belt and I'll be feeling very positive. Already feel pretty good mind as I had a sneak peak at the scales this morning and was at 15st 0.8lbs, so I will definitely be in the 14s for my next weigh-in provided I don't have any more slip-ups! Makes me feel my goal of 13st 7lbs by Christmas is achievable, even with all the inevitable Christmas parties and the like.

Hope you're all having a good week.
 
AAARRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

Just got invited to a client-facing work lunch on Friday that I can't really say no to. Only saving grace is that it's a steak place so fairly easy to be low carb. But I was so happy being 100% and it's only day 3....!
 
So many ups and downs... :(

I continue to use events, whether that be a work lunch or a family birthday or a catch-up with a friend I haven't seen in months, as an excuse to binge. Not just on that event's food occasion, but in the days that lead up to it. I think "well, I have to eat on Saturday, so I may as well also eat today (Thursday)". OH hasn't been helping either - he's been getting pizza, chips, McDs and other naughty stuff and I've been weak and caved (with the same thinking as above).

But it's only 7 weeks till Christmas. And I'll be using that excuse forever over these weeks (mmm mulled wine), so I really do need to pull myself together and stick to plan on all days where I don't have to go to an event that requires me to eat. Starting today - me and OH have tickets to go to the theatre, and he's agreed to pick up a sandwich or something on his way to meet me. That way I can remain TS without him trying to force-feed me. Normally we'd go for a meal beforehand, have a bottle of wine and then I'd have some G&Ts for the performance.

Vanilla shake so far. Plan to have another shake then maybe take a bar with me tonight to munch on (no ice cream in the interval!)
 
Hi Gemma. I know it's difficult but at least you've not caved and are still going AND have a plan. I think success is about persistence, recognising where you've gone wrong and just starting again. If you read the diaries of people who are at or near to goal you'll see that they haven't always had a smooth journey. Hope you enjoy the theatre. What are you going to see?
 
sainsbury84 said:
Hi Lani - that's really random! Although your goal weight is much less than mine and really will be skinny! Not sure I'm meant to ever be skinny but will see how I feel as I progress.

Have fallen off the bandwagon a couple of times recently but started again on Monday and have so far had 2 days 100%. A couple more under my belt and I'll be feeling very positive. Already feel pretty good mind as I had a sneak peak at the scales this morning and was at 15st 0.8lbs, so I will definitely be in the 14s for my next weigh-in provided I don't have any more slip-ups! Makes me feel my goal of 13st 7lbs by Christmas is achievable, even with all the inevitable Christmas parties and the like.

Hope you're all having a good week.
Click to expand...

Well i'm only 5ft2in so 7.5 stone isn't too bad (I was 7.5 stone 5 years ago, my weight has crept up and up, and i wasn't even skinny then, still had a fat ass ha ha)

We all lose our way a bit at times, this weekend has been terrible but i'm back on it today (even though this day in work has been horrendous) and i'm feeling confident i'll get through the week as I have a wedding on saturday and that means food and drink (not looking forward to it at all).

We'll get there birthday twin...one way or another :)
 
lynneonextante said:
Hi Gemma. I know it's difficult but at least you've not caved and are still going AND have a plan. I think success is about persistence, recognising where you've gone wrong and just starting again. If you read the diaries of people who are at or near to goal you'll see that they haven't always had a smooth journey. Hope you enjoy the theatre. What are you going to see?
Click to expand...

Off to see A Midsummer Night's Dream with David Walliams and Sheridan Smith. Have never read or seen Shakespeare before (shocking I know) so am really looking forward to it. Even more so if I can remain 100% so I don't have that awful guilty feeling afterwards.
 
Lani123 said:
Well i'm only 5ft2in so 7.5 stone isn't too bad (I was 7.5 stone 5 years ago, my weight has crept up and up, and i wasn't even skinny then, still had a fat ass ha ha)

We all lose our way a bit at times, this weekend has been terrible but i'm back on it today (even though this day in work has been horrendous) and i'm feeling confident i'll get through the week as I have a wedding on saturday and that means food and drink (not looking forward to it at all).

We'll get there birthday twin...one way or another :)
Click to expand...

We will indeed get there Lani! It's a long windy road with plenty of hills on it but maintaining our goals is most definitely doable for 7 August. Pleased you are getting straight back into it after a bad weekend. I've had quite a few bad weekends, in fact I've not really been properly in the zone since I got back from my holiday in Gambia just over a month ago. I accept that there will be plenty of ups and downs this side of Christmas, but need to give myself a kick up the backside and get in the zone!
 
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