the shame of being me

[cherrygem]

well i ate again did my shakes told my boyfriend and he didnt send a text all day so of course i got upset and ate and whats the point is that goona hurt my bf or teach him a lesson NO! so yet again i've hurt myself and let myself down and i'm fat and misberable for another night! and yes i know i would get his attention ALOT more if i was slim and confident and could get dressed up and head out! why cant i get my act together? even my bf said last night that if i had to starve myself to help someone else i would no problem so why cant i do it for myself???AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[tweeza]

cherry you have to do this for yourself I like you tried to lose weight for my Xhusband and never succeeded you have to want this for yourself if you do this for everyone else then ur making this too hard for yourself. I didnt like myself very much and all my problems came from not liking myself very much until that changed I didnt think I deserved to be happy it was like I didnt think I deserved a nice body and I can see so many similarities between us If I could wish one thing for you it would be to be kinder to yourself x

 

[cherrygem]

i use to rock, i was full time in college had a baby and worked 12 hour shits over the weekend and still made time to get dressed up like a doll and be outrageous and now i cant win a battle not to eat WTF???i'm not even hungry its just emotional i cant get the strength to overcome it and i dont see why

 

[cherrygem]

haha just realised i said 12 hour SHITS haha no wonder i was slim! haha 12 hour shifts!

 

[tweeza]

cherry I have read your diary in full and I cried cause you are so hard on yourself and you dint seem to feel like your worth much its like reading about myself and you still are great your weight is not what defines you Hard to hear I know as I thought my weight defined me but iv realised it doesnt and it does not define you (god i like that word define) but I see how you care about others and how you encourage others you give such lovely words of encouragement your a good person and maybe this plan wont be for you but I know you have the strength to lose your weight its just you dont believe it but I believe you can do anything you want to do you just need to realise it. I hope I have not offended you with my words I just wanted to let you know I think your a strong caring woman

 

[cherrygem]

aw thanks thats so sweet i'm gonna try tomorrow x

 

[Dusty67]

My name's Dusty and I'm an addict.

My name's Dusty and I'm a food addict!

Hi Cherry, I've read your diary and was struck by your mention of your dad.

My dad died two years ago and, like yours, he desperately wanted me to lose weight. He only mentioned it once or twice in the many years I've been obese but I knew how he felt with out him saying anything. He was so proud of me for all my other achievements but I couldn't make him proud of me in this one.

Anyway, when he died suddenly of a stroke, I swore that I was going to do it this time. Went to the doctors, got those alli tablets and saw a dietician. Of course, it didn't work. The reason I think was because yet again I was trying to do something for someone else and not addressing the issues I've got to deal with that have lead me to being almost double the weight I was when I got married.

Having watched the Lipotrim dVD I was struck by something said on that about food being an addiction.

You wouldn't tell an alcoholic to just cut down to a few drinks a day; or a drug addict just to have one hit every now and then. Yet, for those of us struggling with food addiction, we're expected to manage the addiction by continuing to use the substance that we are addicted too!

So, this time round I'm seeing LT not as a diet, but a way of cutting out the substance I'm addicted and learning how to control myself when I'm in the same room as it! My husband gave up smoking about 8 years ago (he was a 40 a day man) and I know he went through difficult withdrawals. What's helped me get through the past three days is to think of the hunger pangs and the cravings as withdrawal symptoms. When I get them I don't think about how long I have stay on LT, or which foods I'm missing most. I think these symptoms will pass and I'll come out the other end a stronger person.

I'm sorry if I've hijacked your thread, but thought that sharing whats got me thorugh the first three days might help you to. Good luck Cherry:gen126:

 

[Deezer]

Cherry... i was thinking about you last night.... and why dont you start a new diary!!! Fresh start!!!

Give it your all on a fresh positive diary!!! One you can read over and see what you achieved.... leave tis one in last year and start a lovely new one!!

Hope your ok!!! XXX

 

[cherrygem]

thanks i've started a new thread 'rebirth of gembomb' xxx

 

[Deezer]

Good for you!!! X