To keep me on track

Well I’ve had spinach, eggs and mushroom for brekkie as I’m walking up a mountain today.

Will have 1 or 2 packs and then chicken salad for dinner later trying to stay at 800 cals Keto.

Feel a bit like a failure but then remind myself I’ve not drank gin or eaten lemon drizzle so I must be doing ok.
800 is fine. Especially that you're going up the mountain! Enjoy your walkie :) you're doing great!
 
So I ate mushroom, spinach and egg for brekkie

2 shakes

Chicken salad, half a burger and a slice of camembert.

My mum is being a sour faced bleep today no idea why. I’m suppose to be on holiday but have cooked and cleaned after 4 other adults and 4 kids. I feel like I’m an inconvenience to people. My mums emotional bull is doing my head in and If I had fags and gin avalaible I would’ve dived in.

Tiredness is doing me in as I’m sharing a room with me kids, well they’ve taken the double bed and I’m on a camp. Actually looking forward to work Thursday for a bloody break.
 
Oh hun, many hugs to you xxxxx have an early one and hopefully your mums mood will improve as it sounds like its got nothing to do with you. You are handling your emotions well, but not everyone is good at that unfortunately...
 
I got home, have had 2 packs today and will have a 3rd later.

Feel very tired and starting to feel anxious about next weeks planned time off for my wedding anniversary. Need to get through the weekend.
 
I got home, have had 2 packs today and will have a 3rd later.

Feel very tired and starting to feel anxious about next weeks planned time off for my wedding anniversary. Need to get through the weekend.
Welcome home! You need a good ol rest now i reckon.
Im totally with you in that anxiety. I think im gonna take Casting's advice and not aim for 10k steps anymore every day but up it again on the 800week and maybe do some cycling in the park after the restaurant times.
In some ways the things lowering my anxiety are that i wont stuff myself with breads or take aways or something, i will stay within the 800cals limits, and those days will hopefully give me more energy for extra exercise? But more importantly on Tuesday im back to what now is normal.
But honestly desoite all that rational mind stuff i am petrified i might not control myself, go awol or something. But ya know...im the only one in control of that. The urges or excesses are my own not someone else's or external. Ive done it till now, why couldn't i do it then too?? Fingers crossed for us xx
 
i Haven’t weighed in this week, I keep telling myself no losses this week as I’ve already lost a stone.
 
i Haven’t weighed in this week, I keep telling myself no losses this week as I’ve already lost a stone.

Hey Kiwi,
Do you measure yourself?
I roughly know all my measurements but decided to only measure my waist at the start of the diet as an extra 'keeping track' on how well/poorly the diet is going.
I've not done a second measure yet, so I might do that in the morning if I'm feeling brave. x
 
I’ve lost another 3 inches from my body, but no weight yet this week (which I expected as 1st already lost)

Work was full on yesterday but had no cravings for gin afterwards, went swimming then sat in a beer garden with a supportive friend drinking fizzy water. It was a milestone for me.

I’m doing TS for 4 days before my 2 days break, I’ve planned in my head to have scramble eggs for brekkie the day I’m off, some sort of high protein salad for lunch and then the BBQ food and gin tasting. The day after I plan to have similar without alcohol and by next Friday be 100% back on TS.

I keep thinking about my relationship with both food and alcohol and feel that the toxic relationship has ended. I feel so motivated and energised.

The next 3 months brings a number of personal struggles for me and I’m so damn determined that I will shift this weight for my health. Stick to never drinking alone and being a emotionally healthy person.
 
I’ve lost another 3 inches from my body, but no weight yet this week (which I expected as 1st already lost)

Work was full on yesterday but had no cravings for gin afterwards, went swimming then sat in a beer garden with a supportive friend drinking fizzy water. It was a milestone for me.

I’m doing TS for 4 days before my 2 days break, I’ve planned in my head to have scramble eggs for brekkie the day I’m off, some sort of high protein salad for lunch and then the BBQ food and gin tasting. The day after I plan to have similar without alcohol and by next Friday be 100% back on TS.

I keep thinking about my relationship with both food and alcohol and feel that the toxic relationship has ended. I feel so motivated and energised.

The next 3 months brings a number of personal struggles for me and I’m so damn determined that I will shift this weight for my health. Stick to never drinking alone and being a emotionally healthy person.

Aw such a great update to hear! Honest, it's gonna come down - it just happens all at once sometimes and patience with yourself/your body is key.
I am happy to read that the toxic relationship is disappearing for you! That's such an important milestone on this journey. Have a great day x
 
It’s been a full on arse of a day.

2 packs and I’ve had 350 calories meal chicken, prawns and some salad plus a extra bonus of a Friday night Coke Zero
 
You're doing great Kiwi. Keep it going! Hope today is better for you!
 
Thanks @Alecto_on_LCD I’m planning a reasonably chilled day.

Gotta meet my friend (who doesn’t know and wouldn’t be supportive) I’m gonna lie and say I’m on antibiotics so no booze and will probably have chicken salad of some sort.

Feel relieved that I’ve ordered another month of packs I’m really hoping to be down to 12st 12 by end of August. Currently 13st 12.

Feel emotionally spent today (I’m a psychologist and my job is quite demanding at times) it always makes me realise that I’m so inclined to sabotage and hurt myself as a form of coping. I feel like I’ve broken the cycle of toxic but feel really damn anxious and have asked my clinical supervisor for some more support over the next 6 weeks
 
Thanks @Alecto_on_LCD I’m planning a reasonably chilled day.

Gotta meet my friend (who doesn’t know and wouldn’t be supportive) I’m gonna lie and say I’m on antibiotics so no booze and will probably have chicken salad of some sort.

Feel relieved that I’ve ordered another month of packs I’m really hoping to be down to 12st 12 by end of August. Currently 13st 12.

Feel emotionally spent today (I’m a psychologist and my job is quite demanding at times) it always makes me realise that I’m so inclined to sabotage and hurt myself as a form of coping. I feel like I’ve broken the cycle of toxic but feel really damn anxious and have asked my clinical supervisor for some more support over the next 6 weeks
I've trained as a clin psy too lol. Not practicing tho :) haha. 2 of us now ;) you doing or finished your DClin? Or maybe you're doing something else?
I think it's really good you've asked your supervisor foe extra support and that they (she? he?) can be there for you.
Think your plan with your friend is really sound. It's not necessary to put yourself under scrutiny and bullets when already emotionally frail and proper emotional can be sought elsewhere. I'll be thinking of you, stay strong and let me know how it went xx

Also i think your 1st goal is very do-able. I'll cheer for you on the way!!
 
Thanks lovely. I manage a mental health service now. Spent the majority of my career working with young offenders, then managing team who worked with children who were exploited. Was made redundant twice from local authority and ended up being chief exc of rape crisis and that’s my area really trauma and abuse.

So I work part time job share managing a mental health team and part time self employed training on routine enquiry for abuse in mental health.

I did forensic masters but never any further, clinical doctorate was offered but by that point I was on a good salary so turned it down and just continues in my career.
 
Ended up eating chicken salad, with coleslaw (2 spoons) I think around 350-400 cals. I didn’t drink any alcohol so that’s positive.

After 2 packs and this lunch I think would be 800 cal day. Feel really p***ed off with myself as wanna to stick to TS
 
I’ve lost another 3 inches from my body, but no weight yet this week (which I expected as 1st already lost)

Work was full on yesterday but had no cravings for gin afterwards, went swimming then sat in a beer garden with a supportive friend drinking fizzy water. It was a milestone for me.

I keep thinking about my relationship with both food and alcohol and feel that the toxic relationship has ended. I feel so motivated and energised.

I’m so damn determined that I will shift this weight for my health. S

Awesome RareKiwi! Really impressive. Rock on!
 
Ended up eating chicken salad, with coleslaw (2 spoons) I think around 350-400 cals. I didn’t drink any alcohol so that’s positive.

After 2 packs and this lunch I think would be 800 cal day. Feel really p***ed off with myself as wanna to stick to TS
That's okay Kiwi. Really it won't be the end of the world, dont beat yourself up about it. Next time though, kick that coleslaws buttom ;) Have a nice rest of the evening x
 
It’s sunday and tomorrow marks the beginning of week 5. I’m really chuffed with my losses so far.

My kids are relaxing and I’m in bed drinking water and a coffee.
 
It’s sunday and tomorrow marks the beginning of week 5. I’m really chuffed with my losses so far.

My kids are relaxing and I’m in bed drinking water and a coffee.
Aww chilled little Sundays! Have a lovely chillaxed day, Kiwi! You deserve it xx
 
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