Alternative Meanings

Dibspl

Radix lecti
Made me smile and i thought 2 and 3 might hit a note :D Feel free to add to the list

Coffee - the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted - appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade - to attempt an explanation while drunk
Willy-Nilly - impotent
Negligent--describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph - to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle - olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Flatulence - emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline
 
PMSL......my brain isnt up to scratch to add any yet....!

Well done on your weight loss too, you are doing fab.
 
i totally relate to the Esplanade one ...
 
Poppycock........omg how do I say this.....sweet smelling cockerel...lol.

Some people just lower the tone........
 
Circumvent - The opening in a man's boxer shorts
 
Circumnavigate.........the way to chop off a f***skin .....sorry I couldnt resist. But I COULDNT PUT THE WHOLE WORD IN.......I just couldnt bring myself to do it.
 
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