Not happy with counsellor

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by DaveP, 9 November 2007 Social URL.

  1. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

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    I sent them an email asking if I could attend the midweek session and she sent me a very harsh rude on back saying:


    .ExternalClass EC_hmmessage P{padding:0px;}.ExternalClass EC_body.hmmessage{font-size:10pt;font-family:Tahoma;}"Between 1000 and 1100. Who exactly are you 'cheating' on? Because it's certainly not me!!!! Get a grip and get the job done!!

    Regards,
     
    Last edited by a moderator: 9 November 2007
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  3. Gemma

    Gemma Gold Member

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    what the hell does that mean
     
  4. Hedgemag

    Hedgemag Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    Not very supportive !
     
  5. k-nine

    k-nine Full Member

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    I wonder if she managed to get clients mixed up and sent the wrong message to you? Even so, not very good, is it?
    k9
    x
     
  6. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

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    Well basically to lengthen the story my weight loss was 1lb last week as I fell off the wagon so I've taken it upon myself to sort it out and this week vie been as good as gold and Im getting up on saturday n going tot he midweek session even though I dont need to, to give me the boost. And it has so I sent a positive email saying I want to come to the session as it is helping me stop cheating and she sent that reply.

    I am shocked at her reply and I wanted to check it wasnt just me being a softie. Heres here reply again without the crap around it. And K( no she didnt get me mixed up.


    "Between 1000 and 1100. Who exactly are you 'cheating' on? Because it's certainly not me!!!! Get a grip and get the job done!!

    Regards,
     
  7. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

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    Also just another thing, i weighed myself this morning and I have lost around 4 lbs since tuesday night. Now I know that its the morning and Im always lighter but she will weigh me tomrorow in the morning too. So if i go in for the midweek sesh 4 lbs lighter then she cant say anything to me.
     
  8. KerrieW

    KerrieW Full Member

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    I would send that email to LL HQ - it's bang out of order to talk to a paying client that way. People struggle for all sorts of reasons and she is paid to help not bully you.
     
  9. Busybee

    Busybee Silver Member

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    Maybe she is from the old school of stick no carrot method:eek:
     
  10. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

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    Haha stick and no carrot, I like it. Im a forgiving soul and I just reckon she didnt get some the night before so I'll give her a second chance. But if she is out of order tomorrow morning as well I will make a complaint.
     
  11. clairelesley

    clairelesley Fairy Princess to Be

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    Yeah, obviously I don't know the woman, but maybe it's 'her way' and she thought she was being motivational and making you think about your actions and their consequences (particularly given the number of exclamation marks).
    Having said that, I certainly wouldn't appreciate a response like that and would want a counsellor who knew me well enough (depending how long you've been going) to know that (having said that I never found my own LL counsellor particularly supportive or interested in me personally either).
    Either way, it might be worth having a chat with her when you're next there and explaining that it came across as a bit rude and that you didn't find it very helpful with some suggestions of what WOULD help when it looks like you're struggling ie positive language etc. That way she can maybe help you better in future, which will be best for both really.
    (Unless she's just a big meanie, in which case you might want to consider finding someone else LOL)
     
  12. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    Well, even I am stunned by her reply - I know I've been misunderstood on here due to the way I've written something ... but even I can't find a positive way of reading her text - esp the last part. You ARE getting a grip and it sounds like you are doing well this week and taking steps to help you succeed. The last thing you need is a response like that - let LL HQ know about it.
     
  13. Curlygurl

    Curlygurl Full Member

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    Gonna play devils advocate here, so please don't take this as a personal attack Dave.

    It does seem harsh, but it is impossible to judge it fairly unless you see it in context. It would depend on what was said in the original email.

    Things can often be miscontrued when written down. It can be difficult to convey tone, and you lose all that body language that can take the sting out of a comment, and can sometimes completely change the meaning. It could be that your counsellor isn't comfortable with the written word, and therefore doesn't express herself particuarly well.

    Would like to point out that I am not Jane, nor am I a counsellor. Just a fellow lard arse, who is struggling along. However, it struck me as slightly unfair that you would publicise your counsellors exact words without her consent, and without the context of your words.

    Again - no offence intended - just offering a different perpective. I wish you the best of luck with your weight loss journey, and hope you are able to crack it.


     
  14. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

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    No thats a fair comment. I'm into slating her I jsut wanted to see fi my outrage was justified. I think ill have a chat with ehr tomorrow.
     
  15. spooky

    spooky Banned

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    I am gobsmacked at her email! How rude!!!
     
  16. Fuzzys Angel

    Fuzzys Angel The Lovely James Hetfield

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    How Rude :eek:, i unfortunately had problems with my LLC & complained to head office other people in my group was also having problems. i ended up leaving LL & went to CD (not that i'm knocking LL at all it's very good but i found the cost much cheeper with CD & prefered not to have the counselling, hense the switch of plan not just counsellor).

    Glad to hear to will speak to her tomorrow, if your not happy with her response then leave & find yourself a new supportive LLC in your area!

    Good Luck!...xxx
     
  17. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

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    What is the difference between LL and CD? Otherwise i might have to swap.
     
  18. cocojo123

    cocojo123 Full Member

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    Hi Dave,
    Got your email but couldn't reply to it so i thought I would put my reply in this thread! I'm not a counsellor in fact i start my first LL group tomorrow night. I have done alot of reading and sole searching and it seems that this diet is much harder than it actually looks. From the outside you could think what could be easier than following a set food plan, not having to cook or worry about food. The difficulty comes from denying your emotional need to eat combined with the physical pain of hunger as you get used to eating less calories. To really succeed on this diet you need to find within yourself a new inner strength that comes from abstinence and finding out what makes you tick and why you resort to food to solve your problems. This journey is something that you have to do yourself with the support of your counsellor however your counsellor can't do it for you. I think this may have been what your counsellor was trying to tell you but unfortunately it didn't come out the right way. If your counsellor isn't supporting or challenging you to ask the really deep and difficult questions to make you understand your eating patterns and identifying ways to change these patterns then it might be time to think about changing your counsellor.

    Jo
     
  19. Tinley

    Tinley Full Member

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    It does sound a bit harsh when you see it written like this, but I've learnt the hard way that emails and texts can so easily be taken the wrong way by recipients. You can't hear the inflection in her voice or the see the facial expression or body language that accompanied it, and which she could well have been doing as she typed the message. Give her the benefit of the doubt (THIS TIME) and explain to her how it came across to you. She could well be as shocked as we were at it. But if she does it again.......

    Meanwhile - 4lb eh? Flabuless!!! (my new alternative word for fabulous :)
     
  20. peanut

    peanut Full Member

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    Hey,

    I am known as a hard manager at work, I push my staff to get results and i dont put up with any rubbish. BUT in saying that I get my results by motivating them, developing them and rewarding them. They work hard because they want to do well for themselves and me.

    The above response = I find shocking. It reads like a real 'dig' and is not approriate. I would have also taken offence.

    You should say something so she does not do that again and also to clear the air,
    so you dont end up resenting her. You will feel better if you clear the air. You should have her support -not her shaming you into reaching goal.

    I've taken a couple of words out and added one (lets):

    Between 1000 and 1100. Who are you 'cheating' on? Because it's not me! lets get the job done!!

    Not quite as rude is it!

    Peanut xxxxx
     
  21. peanut

    peanut Full Member

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    Hey,

    I am known as a hard manager at work, I push my staff to get results and i dont put up with any rubbish. BUT in saying that I get my results by motivating them, developing them and rewarding them. They work hard because they want to do well for themselves and me.

    The above response = I find shocking. It reads like a real 'dig' and is not approriate. I would have also taken offence.:eek:

    You should say something so she does not do that again and also to clear the air,
    so you dont end up resenting her. You will feel better if you clear the air. You should have her support -not her shaming you into reaching goal.

    I've taken a couple of words out and added one (lets):

    Between 1000 and 1100. Who are you 'cheating' on? Because it's not me! lets get the job done!!

    Not quite as rude is it!

    Peanut xxxxx
     
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