O/T I can lose weight but can I get a better brain?

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by PennyJane, 1 May 2009 Social URL.

  1. PennyJane

    PennyJane Full Member

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    I feel like poooooo!

    I so need to get this off my chest. Basically I qualified with distinction as a Legal Secretary last December. I've been for interviews and came 2nd twice, and the only placement I've had with an agency was doing filing!!!

    I recently went for a job with Social Services and this morning they called me to give me the feedback I'd requested.

    They said that I scored low on my typing, usually I'm 50-60 wpm and 100%. I'd scored low on excel. I didn't answer the questions by using their terminology and basically I'd scored very low indeed.

    Why can't I have a brain that works better??? I feel totally and utterly worthless and despite my learning and achieving I'm still as thick as a was at school.

    Boohoo, confidence really low, if it wasn't low enough already!!
     
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  3. cah-ching

    cah-ching Gold Member

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    Think you need to take a big step back and realise what you'er saying!

    You aren't an non-achiever ... evidently!!! I can't believe they wanted you to use terminology unique to them, surely that is something you learn once you HAVE the job!! Cretins.

    Don't give up hope and don't lose sight. Figure out what you want and go for those jobs only, don't waste your time feeling bad about stop-gap jobs!

    HTH - CC
     
  4. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    Hugs Penny. Look at what you've said... it just radiates lack of confidence. Where does that come from? Being told you weren't smart enough at school. Those early chips away at our self esteem are the hardest to change, but the most important to. Forget your IQ & typing speed, work on your self-esteem... the rest will follow. Also, you were smart enough to get feedback... use it. Swot up on excel, find out what is required in advance for next interview. And remember you came 2nd twice... which means you JUST missed out on scooping those jobs. You are not stupid, Penny... just low on confidence. Fix that and there really are no limits.

    xxx
     
  5. PennyJane

    PennyJane Full Member

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    I've tried fixing my confidence - and I got distinction for excel so it's not that I can't learn. Just that when you try hard for a job and you hear that you did so badly, how can you possibly think positive???

    I just tried a test online for excel and it's too hard!!! And, I've never lasted for long in a job unless I was doing something mundane. If I had more confidence and self esteem perhaps I'd be snapped up quicker... perhaps people see that I'm as much use as a chocolate teapot therefore won't waste their time employing someone who's too scared??? How do I gain confidence if I'm not given the support ?
     
  6. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    Well... I know what you mean, but I'd still say the confidence has to start with YOU. People in general tend to take us at face value, so if I slump around feeling rubbish they are not going to try too hard to prove me wrong. Whereas confidence and enthusiasm attracts others.

    I waited years for someone to come along and sort me out (I was a mess, still scaling a near-vertical learning curve, but at least I am trying!). Nobody did. So I had a go on my own. It was as basic as trying to treat myself as I would someone else... with gentleness, acceptance, encouragement. Being my own friend, instead of an enemy. Not putting myself down at every turn with self-hate and impossibly high standards, feeling that I could never be good enough. Over last few months have felt stronger inside, letting go of my biggest crutch, binge eating. That gives me a sense of real achievement and though I wouldn't say the battle is won, I am happy to be fighting it.

    If the job test didn't go well, perhaps you are not a good fit for that particular job. I know I would be rubbish if I even tried, so console yourself, you did way better than I would have! OR... could it be you perform badly in interview situations? Get stressed/scared/anxious? Feel defeated before you begin? And perhaps don't show your best to the interviewers?

    I know it's not an easy fix. But if you've tried and not got there yet, you HAVE to go on trying. Like with the weight thing - if we give up just because it's hard, or doesn't work first time, we are choosing to stay big, for now at least. I made those choices (weight & confidence) a million times, but it has to be different now because I want to be happy, fulfilled, content in my own skin. I want to be me, and to stop hiding & making excuses for why I shouldn't try. It's THE most important journey, in my view.

    Wish I could help a bit more, but I do think confidence is the biggest issue of all for some of us.

    A quote... it has helped me a few times & sums up my views too.

    Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you are absolutely right. (Henry Ford)

    Hugs Penny... sermon over!!!

    xxx
     
  7. PennyJane

    PennyJane Full Member

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    Bless you, thank you. You're right! And, remembering that before the interview I'd lost all the info about the role and given that it is a new role inputted by the government, it wasn't easy to figure out what it was until the interview. What upsets me most is that I'd scored so low in my typing and accuracy, it's what I pride myself on. I almost think that they've mistaken my answers with someone elses!! I don't particularly like excel anyway as me and numbers don't mix! Though in my training, it was a doddle.

    I try to accept myself and I am learning but sometimes I take a reality check and think to myself, what have I done, what can I do and then compare myself with others; I guess we all do that! Perhaps I need to learn from critisism and remember that even Einstein got things wrong before he got it right. I know, I know... I'm thinking defeatist instead of positive, I CAN... still scary though, isn't it?!
     
  8. PennyJane

    PennyJane Full Member

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    Thing is, I look at people who are managers, those who've been to uni, gained a degree, wallow in success and I soooo wish I'd have the chance to do that but I know that I don't have the stamina, brains, nor the time to get there. So, perhaps I should stop hoping for the top and stick to the middle??
     
  9. Lily

    Lily Gold Member

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    If it's any consolation, a few years ago, I screwed up royally on a test for an admin job. Like you, I couldn't understand for the life of me how I could've messed it up so badly - and also like you, I even wondered if they'd muddled up my score with someone else's.

    But I had the last laugh. I now work for that same organisation - only I applied for a much higher job there - 3 grades higher, to be precise - and got it.

    I reckon you were too clever for that job, not too thick. Don't lose heart - someone will eventually see what an asset you'll be.

    Hugs :hug99:
     
  10. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    Well... going back to penny's post... that kind of success comes at a price, and its a price many of us aren't prepared to pay - that's OK! It's about deciding what work-life balance we want. And luckily, for most of us, money is not a massive motivation... I'd rather be happy in my work than rich and miserable!!!

    I'd think about what makes you happy, work-wise. I work for myself and that is fab for me, as I get to call a few of the shots, anyway, and be a little bit flexible. But some people would find it stressful (well I do too!) and prefer a team situation, security of working for a big company, etc. We are all different. Forget 'the top' aim at being happy & fulfilled... the rest will fall into place.

    And scary... you said it! Alas the important things in life often are!

    xxx
     
  11. myrtlemoo

    myrtlemoo Full Member

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    can't add much to the wonderful advice you've already been given.. but if you get nervous/stressed before interview situations and therefore don't perform to what you KNOW are your capabilities (you got a Distinction and can type with 100% accuracy)... I can really recommend Rescue Remedy. Sounds a bit naff but a few drops of this on your tongue slows your heart rate, calms you down and hopefully helps you get the job you really want. As others have said..you've been second, not way down the list so you most definitely are not stupid!

    (((((((hugs)))))))) xx
     
  12. PennyJane

    PennyJane Full Member

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    Thanks guys - I will take this post and read it over and over till it sinks in. I'm wondering if perhaps I should go back to college instead of looking for work - perhaps, oh I don't know lol.

    Yes, scary... wish I was like some people who just don't get scared!!

    Love to all and thanks xx
     
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