Do you self sabotage?

Hello there,

I just ate 3 cookies and a big bowlful of choc ice cream :-(

I was doing so well, 3 weeks in and counting! Spoke to my mum today-she commented that I didn't look like I'd lost any weight (goal is 2 stone) and it's just thrown me. Has this happened to any of you? One negative(ish) comment and that's it, everything out the window!

I want to put it behind me but I'm worried that I've got a taste for carbs now. I seem to have a problem/addiction to carbs and sugar and that's why this diet has been so good for me-cutting out carbs means I don't crave them.

What has anyone here done to get back and focus after a pig out? What about self sabotage-any thoughts?

It's typical-I was raving on today about how much I love this diet and so look what happens!!

Phew! I needed to vent. Usually if I slip up on a diet I avoid minimins but today I thought I'd face my fears for once!

Thanks guys,

S x

We all have an addiction to food... that's why we are here in the first place.
I am too very sensitive to the comments of people... I was so ashamed of how fat I was that I preffered eating alone.
I hated people looking at me.

Don't let anyone discourage you!

I fall off the wagon periodically too.
My best advice would be to treat today as a new day and get focussed again You can't undo eating the ice-cream but you can focus on all the good Dukan food you can eat today instead.
Good luck.

Thanks for your kind words. I tend to eat bad food in secret too. I get really cross with my husband when he keeps coming into the kitchen.

I wrote so late last night I didn't even realise I was in the recipe section!

I feel ok today, have avoided the scales though!

I'm walking for around 1hour a day (school run!) but not doing any more exercise as don't want to overdo it - have 1.5 stone to lose and have lost around 3lbs a week so far which I've found a bit disappointing to be honest as I've been careful with tolerated food.

Do you hear 'the voice' and then give in? What is your way of making it go away? I try to reason with it but it takes over and I think does it really matter if I'm heavier? The problem is that I'm not fitting in my clothes and I don't want to buy anymore I went mad at Xmas and now I'm impatient to get my weight down again.

As I'm in the recipe section, I have one which I tried yesterday and was really nice:

Marinade:
1 tsp mushed ginger
2 cloves of mushed garlic
2 stems of lemongrass
2 tbsp lemon juice

Pour over 2 cod fillets and king prawns in a sandwich bag and leave for a while (depends how hungry you are !) but the longer the better

Bake at gas mark 4 for 18 minutes. Yum!

Hope you're having a good morning

S x

I'm the same! I'm a sneaky eater too!! And one those who's like "it's just one biscuit..." and then it turns into half the kitchen.. (lol) I just get back on track asap and drink lots of water & up a bit of exercise... I also find when I'm stressed or tired or just plain moody I eat badly!

Just gotta put it in the past & focus on the future!

You're right DeeCe, drink is the way forward lol!

I'm obsessed with dr pepper zero at the moment - can't get enough of the stuff!

Think I got a bit bored and lazy so I need to get making. Made the custard the other day which was a faff but nice. Shame I ate the whole thing at once!

Got an ice-cream maker and ordered some flavourings from dukan website so looking forward to those -Especially apple crumble!

Have any of you become members on the website? Is it worth it?

Here's to a 'good' evening!

Sx

I think we've all done this. It's just habit to eat the carby things, almost like comfort food. And once we get to the next stage we can indulge a little which will be such a treat. Keep going your back on track and that's the main thing x

I'm with you Swakey - unfortunately no words of wisdom from me as I keep sabotaging myself - I have fallen off the wagon so much this year, have rarely been on it....

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Ok, here's what I do. Turn it around. It's not a fall off the wagon but a jump off so I can climb up on a new, improved wagon. For instance, you're now on a much stronger wagon with a wiser driver who now knows several things! One, you're now aware of your own "reaction" to your mom's (others?) comments. You tied a perceived solution (eating carb) to a perceived hurt feeling. (heck, maybe you'll realize your mom never notices or is envious or thought you might not want to know she thought you were lighter. I'm trying to keep other people's motives, thoughts, possible reasons out of my head. There's enough going on in there already) Next time maybe you'll jump in aware before the carb and try a different solution. Two, your wagon is once again committed, a strong wagon and one you can trust to keep on carrying you.

I blew it big time on my third day. Majorly. I restarted the next day. Now, when I see the key lime pie, rolo candy, skor bar and a nice Chardonnay, yes, all four, I say, nope. Did that and it was so not worth it. Why did I choose that wagon, it only goes where I don't want to be.

It's sometimes just like a battle inside my head. The more I see myself as strong and determined and committed, the better. Also, I always tell myself I can have what I want, just in the future. It's my choice. But I make sure it's a conscious choice. Based on the future me I want to be. If I choose a cupcake, I want it to be "my" choice, not a voice inside my head. And if I do choose it, then ok. It's been done and now I'm on a new, stronger wagon.

You are so right Joydriven. When I'm in 'the zone' everything is great, I'm on a high-I'm a strong confident woman. Then I get the slightest knock, something that makes me feel stupid and I run for the chocolate. I don't even necessarily want it - it's like I can't cry so I'll eat instead. The knock kills it for me. It could be as simple as one of my friends being cool towards me. Instead of thinking 'oh dear what's wrong with them?' I immediately assume that I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON. It's that battle that food gets all mixed up in. It's like I need a physical technique to deal with my insecurities other than eating. I don't mean to distract from eating such as painting nails, having a bath etc but a physical reaction to a situation. You're right when you say you get wiser the more times you fall, but I'm hurting from falling and nothing changing.

This is a good place. I'm happy to be able to write all this. I need practice to improve my mind-set and self esteem, i just need some patience first!

S x

P.s.

Joydriven -what is a skor bar?

X

It's a toffee bar, chocolate coated. Funny thing when I indulged none of it tasted as good as I thought it would. It let me down. That was really good too. Learning that I can't even count on food to feel better. Have to look elsewhere. So, re-exploring past passions.

I'm so glad you're looking for your "hooks", the things/times that grab us and drag us down. It's such a process. I remember not even being aware of the reason why I was eating. You're light years ahead of that now. You're catching yourself and it's now about how to deal with the bad feelings/thoughts you're telling yourself. At least you're hearing them!

I found a great audiobook with techniques on how to deal with all this self talk. One method that's helped me is to try to feel where in my body the hurt,frustration,whatever, is. My stomach tight? My throat constricted? My heart ache? My head? Just feel it, not try to change it. Then breathe in and imagine the breathe traveling to that spot. In and out from there. There are other techniques that have been really helpful. Not sure if it's true for most with eating issues, but I've always lived a lot in my "head" and not my body. So, becoming aware of my body and what it's feeling has been so helpful. Not necessarily as I ever would have thought of my body, but in the way of inner sensations.

Hope I haven't lost you! I find it fascinating how little time is spent on being aware of our inner voice and how much it can control us. And, why o why! Would you think of yourself as Terrible! Why o why do we do that to ourselves?

Thanks so much for your wise words-I completely agree with you about the mindless eating-WHY?!

Something that I've found to combat this is yoga as we practice 'listening to your body' techniques. It's much easier to do in class than at home though!

I also have a hypnosis cd-'I can make you thin' Paul McKenna. It's good, but this is what I mean about self sabotage, I switch myself off to help; reading people's thoughts and ideas, listening to the cd, listening to reason etc I don't want help at that point-just want to bury myself in a mound of food.

I'll pig out at night sometimes enjoying it, sometimes not and then the next morning I dread looking in the mirror or even going out. I feel I deserve to 'enjoy' myself-like you say, it's a constant battle.

I have been at my ideal weight
before, felt great shopping for clothes! But I couldn't sustain it. I wanted to be like a thin person who is constantly eating and everyone says 'wow-where does she put it?! ' unfortunately they weren't saying it for very long lol! That's why I struggle with 'what's the point'.

Made a carrot cake with my son today (well, he stood next to me while I did it!) i shouldn't have done it but he is poorly and asked especially. I feel like throwing it in the bin as its going to be on my mind all weekend! Hopefully my husband will gobble it down-I'm so jealous of the skinnies (including him) who can eat rubbish all the time I hate feeling like the bigger one of the two of us.

Are we always going to have trouble with food or is it really possible to completely change how we feel? Has anyone ever managed this?

Sx

Don't eat the cake......don't eat the cake.....

Swakey said:

Are we always going to have trouble with food or is it really possible to completely change how we feel? Has anyone ever managed this?

Click to expand...

You can do it!
I know you can.
And the cake you're craving is really not that good.

I had the same problem with chocolate and a few months ago I had some knowing it is wrong to do that on this diet.
I only liked the first bites... after that I could only taste something sweet without any flavors: just sugar.
So I realized that is not worth it.

I appreciate your effort to bake a cake you're not going to taste... I understand your sacrifice.

Hugs.

I think self sabotage occurs because of an internal dilemma. We fight with ourselves and usually give in to the most easiest option which is going back to old habits. Of course this is like a cycle as it results in us feeling low, if not lower than we did originally.

Swakey, may I ask why you don't think the Paul McKenna CDs don't help? I've been listening to them and I do think they appeal to your subconscious mind. His work make a lot of sense. Ever since I've been listening, I've felt calmer and sort of have made peace with myself. He also identifies what the difference is between emotional hunger and those pangs and real physical hunger. Knowing this can give you the upper hand in how you view food.

I'd really advise in trying to keep listening to his CDs, daily and let it soak in. Hope you managed to avoid the cake. Good luck to everyone!

Thank you for your support Elisheba. I did have a tiny bit of the cake after all (it was sooo nice!) but didn't feel too bad about it the next day as i actually felt in control just a bit so it didn't turn into a binge. I made some muffins and so far they are working a treat.

Nymeria-

Thanks for your input too. It is definitely a cycle, feeling in and out of control, battling to stay in charge. One minute I think I have it cracked and the next it all falls apart. I hope it will be easier one day but I think there is a part of me that wants to fail and feels happy when I give in and think 'sod it' to the fish and chips my husband brings home.

This is the disturbing thing-has anyone experienced this too? How can it stop when rather than an 'instant gratification voice' (give me chocolate now as I'm angry/sad/happy......yum yum) its a powerful reason to keeping putting on weight but I can't quite get to the bottom of it -where it is coming from and why. What does your deep down 'bad voice' say?

Paul McKenna had been great at putting me to sleep the past year. He says this is ok as I just can't help dropping off! I used to listen everyday but then his voice got a bit monotonous and I gradually stopped. I don't know if it was actually helping but I think the problem was that I was on the Cambridge diet when I was listening to it. The meals are very restricted so I didn't have the choices he talks about 'eat what you like, when you like' I was drinking milkshakes/soup/porridge 'chew your food slowly' etc

I've actually just realised that this is where I went wrong so thank you for that

I'm going to try again tonight, although again there are certain restrictions, it does help me to listen to your body.

Have you tried any other Paul McKenna CDs?

Sx

I've experienced the inexplicable voice, in such a rational tone, saying you shouldn't want this, you'll be better off staying as you are. And me thinking, yes, I don't really want to change.

Why? I don't know. Several reasons pop up. There'll be no more excuses, I'm not really deserving, etc. Now, the reason is irrelevant. What is is for me to continue to be aware of it and re-focus my attention. The more I focus on what feels good, healthy, strong and moving me forward, the better. It's simply a matter of noticing and choosing what's true and best. And it's a practise, in that it has to be continually practiced. It's gotten easier, takes less time to be grounded again, sooner for me to catch myself when I'm veering off into the world of thought. But, it's still an act of awareness and choice.

I'm not familiar with Paul McKenna, will check him out. The book I found most helpful is Taming Your Gremlin. And most recently Jon Kabat-Zin's Mindful series. His taped Mindful Way Through Depression has been wonderful for practices to attain awareness and understanding of the inner voice.

Interestingly, I now catch myself hearing a powerful voice saying, instead of the you can't, you shouldn't, I hear a you can do this, this will work out. It's even coming out as a much more powerful, positive voice in my diary. Past, I wouldn't have those words.

Hi Swakey,

I have the 5 cd set which I'm just I'm about getting into grips with. They include- Mind programming technique, craving buster techniques and overcoming emotional eating. All of which add to the overall dilemma of binging and eating too much. (I have trouble with this)

I really like how he gets us to accept ourselves for how we are and work with what we have- rather than fight it. At the end of the day the slimmer goal we have in mind will be moulded from what we have. This way he gets you to focus on the positives. Don't dwell on what you can't have, what you don't like, as your subconscious will focus on it too and make you think about those things more.

I've also purchased the slimpods which are a very similar to the Paul McKenna CDs but the recordings are much more managable at just 10 minutes. The trick is to listen to them daily as the information soaks in. They also say it doesn't matter if you do fall asleep as you're still listening on a subconscious level.

Good luck! And that sounds really inspirational Joydriven. =]

Oh! I know Paul McKenna! I had his sleep cd from the library. It did help. I like you Swakey, began to find his voice uninteresting. In addition, I did not like having "someone else" in my mind when I feel asleep. My dreams got pretty strange. So, I stopped. Probably means I'm a great candidate for that method! I should get his slim tapes and try them although make sure I do not fall asleep. I might dream of giant Dukan muffins chasing me into a vat of whipped cream.

Well, I fell off!

Been back on for 2 weeks now but deciding not to weigh myself just yet. I think I went up to about 11st so I'm giving it a couple of weeks (and gauging by size 10 jeans!) before I start. Did attack for a few days and am now on cruise. Feeling ok at the moment and happier being in control.

I always seem to binge at the beginning of March. I put it down to the anniversary of my son passing away on 6th March (2006) and its like I want to treat myself. Or, it could be the way that sadness causing you to keep stuffing your face to keep you from crying/occupied.

Sadness is definitely a trigger for me. I find that I want to hide away and eat but it makes it harder to face people when you're embarrassed about people seeing that you've put weight on.

I've lost a lot of weight twice in my life- 5 stone both times. First after the birth of my son in 2007 through healthy eating and exercise and second on the Cambridge diet. It's hard now as I feel judged/sniggered about when I've put on weight and then nobody seems to compliment me as they just see me fatter than before!

My TW is 9st 5lbs or size 10 jeans for the end of June ( I'm going to a festival then so I want to feel at my best when I'm all grubby after camping!) my legs and saddlebags are the worst-I have that particularly annoying pear shape

I just wondered how much exercise everyone is doing? I've started classes at my gym. Doing around 90 mins 5 days a week but not finding much difference after two weeks (is this asking too much?!) feeling great after though so that's good.

Cheers, S x