Well here I am again. Still over weight (by a lot) and sick of the sight of myself in the mirror. I've looked back through this and it reminded me how focused I was and how sure I was that I would be a much smaller size by my wedding.
Well that didn't happen, I look at my wedding pictures and see a whale in a wedding dress, it makes me want to cry... but then I remember why I stopped. I remember my belly getting (even) bigger but with a life not with food, a life I was told I would never carry, a life I Had longed to share for so long and suddenly it's all ok. Sure I'm still gutted that I didn't get to my target weight, I still have all the extra pounds and stones I am carrying but I wouldn't trade my son for not having them.
And now I will restart the journey to a healthy happy me, now I will have the best of both worlds, weight loss AND my son!!!
I am doing this for me but also I have to do It for my son. I don't want to be the mummy that sits on the sidelines unable to run and play because I get out of breath, I don't want to be the mummy who gets pointed out by the other kids at school for being the fatty and most importantly I don't want my son (or any other children we go on to Have) to grow up with a mummy who hates herself because she is fat, who has massive body issues because of her weight. I grew up watching my cousin developed an eating disorder because she grew up watching her mum hate herself because she was over weight and I will not risk that with my child.
This is the time, no giving up, no going back. If I ever feel like quitting I'll just look at my little boy and my strength will be renewed! My packs have just arrived. Tomorrow is my start day. Let's do this!
"It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities." - Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
