Spangly's tough love slim and save bootcamp!

[Clinquant]

Hi everyone. Glad you have a good first day under your belt. Even more credit for carrying on with work nonsense and an ear infection. I think that 100% definitely speeds the progress into ketosis. The feeling of calm is so welcome after the chaos of overeating and gaining weight. I have a slightly obsessive spreadsheet, projecting my progress based on my previous losses which is keeping me occupied. It even tells me what clothes will fit me on what date if I stick to it. I, too, can't wait to start trying on the smaller clothes. That's the other thing I love about this plan, if you stick to it the progress is so predictable. We can do it - we just have to get through tomorrow!

 

[Spanglymum]

Love the sound of your spreadsheet. I'm an Excel geek too .

Very sore head this morning and was SO tempted to stop for a black Americano en route - the caffeinated sort - but resisted. I know this is carb/caffeine withdrawal and it is doing me good, dammit! lol.

I had spectacular nightmares last night, triggered, I think, by being back at work. I need to address the issues (again) as it's obviously not healthy to be feeling this anxious/stressed/undermined after one day back. I can still picture the nightmares as clearly as if they were a film I watched. I woke up really scared, heart pounding, then finally got back to sleep again - back into a continuation of the same dream!! Aaaargh.

Anyway - good luck to everyone today. It's going to be a scorcher in the South which means our office will be sweltering. Fun! I'll just have to look forward to my air-conditioned drive home.

Oh, and I did a big thing for me. I've pulled out of the art group I joined. I was so excited and thrilled to have been offered a place, but it turns out their views on art are very narrow, and don't chime with mine at all. I felt uncomfortable, but felt I "should" persevere with it. But actually, knowing I was due to go back there today made me feel low, not excited - so I've sent them a kind message pulling out. I can still draw and paint, can't I? And it's fab to know a semi-professional group thought my work was good.

 

[Clinquant]

I think day 2 is the hardest so keep ploughing through. I'm only 3 days further on but already it's starting to feel like 'business as usual' for me. The next big hurdles will be social stuff and then further along the boredom. I do remember having a great time going out and drinking fizzy water and hopefully the clothes obsession will keep the boredom at bay. We also have to remember that every 100% under our belt will strengthen our resolve and make the rest easier.

From reading your diary the work stuff sounds tricky. Nothing worse than being accountable but not being able to make your own decisions. I think with that going on you have done the right thing with the art class. No point in wasting what is probably very precious time if it isn't what you really wanted. It may be another time or another class but of course you can still continue on your own. And, as you say, good to have that external validation that your work is good.

I sing in a choir and it's first night back tonight. I hadn't done any singing up until 8 years ago but there was no audition and I gave it a go. It took about 3 years for me to stop expecting someone to tap me on the shoulder and tell me I couldn't sing!! I'm hoping that tonight my mental faculties will be sharp enough to concentrate and it will be a suitable distraction.

 

[Spanglymum]

I love choral singing and am planning to go to our local choral society next Monday! Been meaning to join for ages but been way too busy. Now the girls are a bit older I feel a bit more able to do things for me.

Just hope I can get this tinnitus sorted out ASAP. It's driving me demented today. At least it provides a distraction from getting into ketosis (headache aside). What a moaning Minnie! I'm actually quite positive but really fed up of this noise!! Ah we'll. day two almost done. Go me!

 

[Clinquant]

Just popping in quickly to say well done on another 100%. Me too and was really tired after my choir and after 7 hours without a pack really irritable but I didn't cave. I have a day off today as I am meeting a potential client. I work in HR for a charity but am developing a consultancy/coaching business at the same time. Huge issues for me about not being good enough and being seen as a fraud. I'm having to put every effort into overcoming this with all the evidence against that. I suppose the important thing is I haven't let the doubt stop me pursuing it. The Brene Brown book arrived and I had an interesting email newsletter from Geneen Roth - I may quote later when I have more time. It's amazing what information finds me when I'm not thinking about food. Have a good day

 

[Spanglymum]

I know what you mean about the fraud thing. I often find myself surprised that i have a grown up job!!

I think (hoping not speaking too soon) that ketosis may in fact be here already! My hands, feet, and nose are freeeeezing, and I'm not hungry!!! Yay! I think not having caffeine or sweeteners or water flavouring has really helped me. Now to stick to it!!! Just cant wait for my clothes to start getting looser again and being able to get things out of the wardrobe I haven't worn in a while. Bliss! :-D

Hope everyone else is hanging in there!

 

[weasey]

Hi Spangly - hope you're well. Can I join in your bootcamp?! I'm back to lose the excess 15lbs before it becomes larger... I'm thinking I might find it tough to restrict myself again though - fingers crossed!

 

[Spanglymum]

Hi, weasey, and welcome back! I wish I'd managed to nip this in the bud earlier, but it is what it is and I'm getting on with it. Sounds like you've been doing really well at maintenance. Good luck getting back to goal. It won't take any time at all for you! (Jealous lol)

 

[weasey]

I think there's a distinct lack of support once you reach goal. Very few diets actually cover this for anything beyond a few weeks and there's a dearth of self help books in the area. I really struggled for a long time with how and what to eat. I tried all sorts of approaches - and I'm really glad I did because I think the journey is what I needed rather than the answer. The slimming industry as a whole makes more money out of us when we need to lose weight so it's not in their best interests to help us to maintain I guess.

 

[Spanglymum]

So what works best for you, weasey?

I think there's definitely a gap in the market for a self-help book on maintenance. Perhaps a few of us could write one? (Unless you think the diet industry would ban or censor it, that is!)

For a long time I was very low carb, which worked really well for me. But then I went astray a few times and each time it took longer to get back on track. I think for me the secret is low carb, definitely. But I still need to find a balance, a way of being able to occasionally let loose without it being mayhem for weeks on end. I was wondering earlier whether losing extra weight before an event might help? It would prevent the 'sod it' feelings after a blow out, which for me lead to more overindulgence.

By the way, the reason I want to be able to let loose is that when I tell myself things are totally off limits (when I'm not losing weight, that is) I immediately want them so so much more. I think knowing the (insert food or drink of choice) will be available to me at some point might curb some of my panicky bingey behaviour. I know in an ideal world one would never overdo it, but I'm trying to be realistic!!

Hmm.

Well anyway it's day three almost done for me and I'm feeling v pleased with myself. I hope everyone is doing ok! Here's the test for me: weekend meals and snack times with the family, which means lots of cooking...

 

[weasey]

We should definitely write one!

I tried all sorts of things. I took up with a personal trainer (well two actually - long story!) which made a big difference to my fitness levels and also gave me something new to set goals around. Achieving small goals was really important to me through my weight loss journey and I think I'd have been lost if all of that was gone overnight. I also started personal therapy, which I still have now but not very often. This helped me to have a sounding board as I went throughh my maintenance journey. Very valuable for me.

I tried lots of different food approaches.

1) Be good. Was fine for a while and then I hit a very stressful period. I overate but on protein rather than carbs - somehow that seemed better! Most of my extra weight came on during this period. I was scared of eating much in the way of carbs.

2) Dukan Consolidation - I was very excited when I found out that Dukan had a consolidation phase for after you've lost the weight until you get into normal maintenance. I think if I'd known about this when I first reached goal I would have been able to transfer straight onto this without problem. Dukan is also low carb and he allows for free meals and such like which address the rebel in us all! I did thid for a couple of months and it did help. I think if I'd started this straight away I would have been fine on it and it would have really helped - but as it was I wasn't happy sticking to it. This meant that there was still a lot of food on the 'no' list.

3) I found that I had a low metabolism. I could only eat 1400 calories a day without putting on weight - despite doing lots of exercise. I started to calorie count. I used My Fitness Pal and stuck to 1400 calories. This worked really well from a maintenance point of view and I stuck to it for a long time. Any food was allowed, as long as I stuck to a max of 1400 calories a day. I thought about 'value for calorie'. Was it worth eating X at Y calories when it only left me with Z calories for the rest of the day? This was a really powerful period for me. Nothing was on the 'no' list anymore. I learnt to eat everything in moderation. The only down side for me was that if I had only had 1200 calories (for example) then I would often have the extra 200 calories in something unhealthy. But my weight stabolised and I started to feel in control.

4) I started doing 'Game On', which is an approach to healthy living - eating, sleeping , getting enough water, exercise, picking up a new good habit, giving up an old bad habit. It works by giving you points for doing more healthy things. This was really useful for me. It suggests eating 5 times a day. I find that when I did that I could actually eat more calories. I wonder whether by blood sugar (I'm type 2 diabetic) was more even with regular eating and so I was less likely to store fat than with high levels of insulin. I don't really know - I do know that this way of eating really suits me. And this from someone who would have skipped breakfast and lunch quite often before the diet. Somewhere during this phase I stopped recording my daily calories and found that I didn't need to do it anymore. It felt like a release.

5) Then I countinued with the 5 meals a day thing without doing 'Game On'. I don't count calories but I do take a lot of notice of the calories that are in whatever I am about to eat. I don't worry about carbs overly - but lower calorie will tend to lead to not bad carbs anyway. This now seems like a normal way of living. No food is on the 'no' list. I can go out and have a meal, but I'll choose a reasonable option. I don't want any of the really fatty things anymore anyway - I think my palette has been reducated after so long of not doing it.

So, now I feel happy and confident about maintaining - but I'm still a stone heavier than I'd like to be. I have tried losing weight by cutting down a little but I start to rebel... So going back on to a VLCD seems like the right move. I'm now confident that I can maintain my weight loss at the end. If only I'd know when I reached goal what I know now - but I think I needed to go through the journey and learn the lessons one by one.

 

[Spanglymum]

I've not heard about 'game on'. Where can I read more about it? (Google just sends me to the old tv show!)

Interesting stuff. Sounds like calorie-counting and exercise has been the best approach for you. I found exercise helped me mentally stay positive and less likely to eat unhelpful things, but of itself I don't find it helps me manage my weight. What i mean is I found I didn't need to exercise a lot to manage my weight if I eat lower carb (but not necessarily low calorie) but it's great for stabilising my mood and self-esteem.

Thinking we could actually do this - write a book I mean. Nzmegs is a professional writer who has recently rejoined and she might be interested in doing a chapter too ... I'll ask her!

 

[weasey]

There's a book on Amazon - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Diet-F...8&qid=1378539882&sr=8-1&keywords=game+on+diet - or you can google 'game on diet'. Effectively you score points and then can be in teams with your friends and compete against other teams if that floats your boat. Personally my husband and I have done it together as a team and if we score over a certain amount in a 4 week period we get a treat - and the treat is bigger if we both achieve it. I also change the scoring so that it more closely reflects what I'm trying to achieve (eg not 20 mins exercise a day but a certain amount minimum in the week).

I don't view the exercise as a way to lose or maintain the weight. If it does that then it's a bonus. For me the exercise is about improving my fitness and having fun (especially the roller derby). I don't want to tie exercise and weight loss in my mind because I don't want to get into the situation where I eat someing and then I exercise to make up for it.

The calorie counting was an essential stage for me but I feel like I've moved past it now. When I look back it feels like it was a way of getting control and holding on tight. Like if I let go Even for a moment I would put all the weight back on. Now I'm in a situation where I'll make a reasonable choice whenever I'm eating which is guided by calories but I no longer need to add then up every day in order to keep control and stop me from eating everything under the sun. It feels much calmer and easier. What I'm eating and not putting weight on is no longer one of my primary focusses - now it just happens.

 

[Clinquant]

Loving all the interesting stuff about maintenance. I researched it quite a bit before I got to goal. I did maintain for 3 years with a few ups and downs and nipping any big gains in the bud. I found this research interesting Research Findings I did intend to register with them but then I felt that I wasn't really coping and it didn't apply to me. I also think I was horrified by the exercising for an hour a day. I did find that when I was exercising for 5 hours a week I could eat 2300 calories without any problem. weasey's approach shows that there isn't one big answer - something that anyone who has tried different approaches longs for. I think it's a matter of pulling in all the resources we have and realising that we won't arrive at one perfect moment where everything is fine but we will keep on going until we find acceptance of ourselves wherever we are.
I was horrified to have regained as much as I have, but it has given me two things already: firstly, the motivation to do this 100% again and secondly, the mental calm to start thinking about long term strategies. I had forgotten how much useful information comes to you when you are able to listen. It was interesting what came up at my client meeting yesterday. The meeting itself was really positive; instead of being intimidating she was lovely and relaxed and really interested in what I had to offer. I think there will be a good chance of some business further down the line. But what was interesting was how much I thought of food going through the station on the way there to deal with anxiety and on the way back for having survived! I didn't give in but treated myself to an afternoon on the sofa watching a film I had been saving for ages.
Spangly, hope the ketosis has kicked in properly and you have a good weekend planned. I know many people dread the weekend but I find it much easier. The sometimes tedium of work and the temptations of the snack table make weekdays difficult.

 

[Spanglymum]

Struggling with self-pity today. TOTM doesn't help. Just been up to Tesco and that was a total mind game. I've stuck to it, which I'm proud of, but I am just so cross with myself for being back here again. Weekends are usually (even when I was maintaining successfully) a time when food would really be in focus: lots of family meals and snacks to prepare. Thankfully, my hubby is doing a lot of it today, which I'm really grateful for. He is very supportive. He knows how happy and proud I was of what I achieved before.

 

[weasey]

Three cheers for supportive husbands!

I have found myself today watching the clock to work out how long it is to the next pack! Only 15 mins now...

 

[Spanglymum]

Hope you survived yesterday. I really struggled mentally last night but went to bed early again and am really pleased I did this morning. Got a spectacularly bad TOTM going on (tmi) so am doubly proud of self.

 

[weasey]

@Clinquant - The matenance stuff you point to looks really interesting. I'm definitely going to have a good sift through it! Thanks for the link.

Love your story with the film instead of the food too. I guess it's about learning to treat ourselves with other things - new coping mechanisms when stressed too. The more mindful we can be and also the more we think through what we could do the next time we feel stressed (or whatever) the more likely we are to cope in a way which doesn't negatively affect our weight. Well done you on resisting and learning! In the Beck Diet Solution she talks about the resistence muscle and how each time you resist it becomes stronger and how if you give in it becomes weaker and you're more likely to give in the next time. Whilst I dislike a lot of her approach this analogy has stayed with me.

 

[weasey]

Hope you survived yesterday. I really struggled mentally last night but went to bed early again and am really pleased I did this morning. Got a spectacularly bad TOTM going on (tmi) so am doubly proud of self.

So sorry to hear that you're finding it tough. TOTM can make things even more difficult. But you got through the last few days when you've had a bad TOTM and you're in our first few days of the programme - which are the toughest by far. You should be immensley proud of what you've done! I bet you're feeling size differences already aren't you?

 

[weasey]

I've been having a think about some other things which I think have helped me to stay on track...

1) I got a new job in February. Nobody there has ever know me as larger or knows that I used to be larger. I wear nice suits to work and quite enjoy myself with my clothes. Somehow all of this helps.

2) I have taken up Roller Derby, which I thoroughly enjoy. Even though I could have done it when larger (and many people do) I wouldn't have seen it as an option for me. I love it and it gives me exercise without even realising I'm doing it. Also, I can dress outrageously! I wear padded shorts (to stop me hurting my tailbone too badly when I fall!) which are very short and I wear bright and strangely patterned tights underneath. I guess I can express my personality through my clothes in a way that I couldn't (or wouldn't) before.

3) My husband is VERY supportive. But he'll also question me if he's concerned about my approach to things (even though he sometimes gets a bad reaction!). This keeps me honest and helps me to think things through rather than just jumping straight in.

4) A couple of months before I started to lose weight my husband decided to start exercising and get fitter. He has gone from around 16 stone to 12 stone 10 lbs and is now very muscluar. He did it through exercise - and later changing what he ate in order to support his training. So that's the opposite of what I did. It meant that I was more likely to get into exercise when I finished the diet (with his personal trainer to start with). It also means that we are very supportive of each other with eating healthily and exercising. If one of us isn't very motivated to go to the gym the other one will be and so we go.