Two Owls playing pool.. They hadn't played before and one potted the white ball, the other one said
"That's two hits" the other one said "Two hits? two hits to who?"
A chemist and his blonde girlfriend were out to dinner. The waiter asks them what they would like to drink. The chemist says "As I'm a chemist I will have some H20"
The blonde says "I'll have some H2O too!" So the waiter brings her H202.
A blind man was in the supermarket with his guide dog. He starts swinging his dog aroun, knocking all the cans off the shelf. The manager comes up all angry and asks 'what are you doing?' And the guy says 'just looking around'
Another is in a serious conversation look at the person and say how do you make a sausage roll? *cue them discussing pastry etc* let them talk for a while - then interrupt aand say