Hi there everybody, I'm about to start slimming world (again) so i just wanted to tell you about myself and what kind of journey i've been through. I started slimming world jan 2013 my 1st weigh in i was 20st 6 and a half pounds. In my first week I lost 9 and a half pounds which absolutely amazed me and woke me up to how slimming world can really work. I went on to have big losses from 6lb to 3 lb in quick succession. by April i had won slimmer of the week 6 times and lost 3 stone. But then my weight loss stared to slow down dramatically, all of a sudden i was losing half a pound here and a pound there and this continued until i had lost 3 and a half stone. I was attending the gym regularly and i was running 5 miles 2-3 times a week (i couldn't even run for a bus in January) Then something happened to me. I started over doing my sins and eating the wrong things here and there but id be ok because i'd tell myself that i just wouldn't use my sins for the rest of the week but of course I would. And so the losses started to turn into gains, 1lb 2lb 3 lb 4lb. I carried on lying to myself and others around me about my food intake. I started secret eating and then took the decision to leave slimming world because i knew if i did i could get away with eating however i wanted and nobody would be any wiser. Problem is that I know and its driven me to a bit of a dark place, im now 20st 5lbs again and depression is absolutely upon me. I took the decision a week ago to start doing the slimming world plan but without actually joining as I couldn't afford it aswell as buy all the food but im failing miserably, i kept a food diary for the first few days but that still hasn't stopped me from giving into food cravings and secret eating and im at my wits end. I honestly don't think i've ever felt so low in all my life. i cant even walk the street without being overly self conscious about what people think of my size. I just don't want to live like this any longer so i've taken the decision today to bite the bullet and rejoin slimming world on Saturday and to also get back in the gym, which wont be easy as i seem to have developed some kind of fear around going to the gym even though i was absolutely loving it 6 months ago. Well there you have it, it hasn't been easy to open my heart up like this but i have done so that if any one on here has had a similar experience and is willing to share with me how they went about getting out of this horrible rut.