Captain's Log... :)

ASpirit

New Member
I figured I might aswell share my diary with you guys. Hopefully it's useful for someone ;)

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Hey everyone!
I’ve been reading these LighterLife blogs for a while now and promised myself that I would start one too as soon as I get cracking with the LighterLife program.
Before I ramble on, I do have to warn you I tend to talk allot and go on and on about things that might not even be relevant
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So if you don’t mind the rambling, keep on reading. I just figured an explained background story will help. The few journals I’ve read are all fun and games, but you don’t know their circumstances. Just an update with “oh look, I lost 3 Pounds!” is celebratory, but also a little boring to me
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Anywhoops, I have wanted to do the LL program for about 2 years now. The first year didn’t work out as I was moving house, the second attempt almost made it but then I was hit with unexpected bills that unfortunately have priority. I didn’t think about starting a diet for a long time, didn’t think I’d need to lose any weight. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a skinny person debating whether or not I need to lose the 1 stone to get into that bikini, I am 107kg and my butt is a respectable size 20. I’m anything but tiny
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It’s only when I hit 25 in March that I really started to freak out. This was my wakeup call. You know, I had this major moment of clarity where I realised that Sh*T, Im getting old! and I haven’t figured things out properly. So I made a list of things I had to do to and weight loss was on the top of the list.
I’m the kind of person that doesn’t worry about anything. I am a very happy kind of person and if problems come I sort of sail through them without putting any effort into it, it’s always been like that.
I don’t do things I don’t like and am very selfish
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. I’ve always been under pressure to lose weight. I moved to the UK when I was 17 (on my own btw) and met my now ex-fiance. I was over 100kg at that time and somehow I lost 25kg over 2 years by not doing anything. Trust me, I don’t do exercise. It’s a personal torture I never seem to enjoy.
But after the effortless weight loss from just being happy (**gag**) it all slowly creeped back up due to stressful hours at work. I’m a freelance makeup artist and my work days are all over the freakin’ place. I haven’t been able to set up a normal routine in years! So that’ll be a challenge for the next few months.
So when I gained all the weight again my fiance put on this massive pressure to get rid of it, even my mom made comments about it which was more painful to hear than from that twat of a boyfriend. Long story short, or shorter lol, the relationship didn’t last as it turned out he was more emberrased by me and didn’t think it was worth his effort to stay in the relationship.
Anyways, I kept a steady weight at around 100/110kg over the years. I eat the most crappy foods when Im on the go, it varies from sandwiches (I LOVE bread..), Maccy D’s, salads with creamy dressing and of course the evil snacks like chocolate and candy. I don’t eat allot and don’t stuff myself really. Just eat wrong foods at random times on the go.
I don’t cook. Occasionally I’ll boil an egg or cook up some veggies and meat because I’m in one of those ‘Let’s be healthy mode’ that only lasts for 2 days and I’m back to running around again.
I live with 5 others in a house share and they think I’m crazy, I’m the kitchen noob for sure
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And here is the kicker of it all! I’m learning how to do cake/cupcake decorating… So far I’ve not wanted to snack on any of the cupcakes, or lick that little bit of the icing spoon. I’ve been good, im purely doing this as an extra creative outlet as Makeup has been boring me to no end lately. After 8 years there is only so much you can do with makeup.
It’ll be interesting to see how I cope baking cupcakes and icing them when I’m on the program
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I went to see the nurse yesterday to get my health form sorted out. It was a quick in and out thing. I actually found out that I’m a healthy fate person… I thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever. The nurse was even shocked that my BMI @ 36.8 was so high because I didn’t look like it would be. Funnily enough I’ve received a few comments like that, commenting how I look like I’m more of a size 16 than the size 20 I have to convince them that I am. Maybe I’m just really good at hiding my chunky thighs on good days? Lol
My blood pressure was practically text book healthy, I have no other health problems except for lower back issues that is more of a work thing than being overweight (although I’m sure carrying the extra weight doesn’t help it). I just thought that being classed as “healthy” when I’m clearly obese is ludicrous.
Everything is scheduled to start on the 11th, this Sunday. I am totally ready to start and get going. I had a meeting previously with a local councillor (3 out of 4 councillors couldn’t be bothered to call me back) and the dates she had coming up didn’t work with my work schedule and she was adamant that now is not the right time to start the program.. However the program starting in May would be perfect for me as it matched my diary. I just don’t have the patience to wait 2 months before starting the program because it would match with her schedule. The way she was saying that now isn’t the right time for me to start the program was a little weird and slightly insulting as she said it in a patronising tone. In the end I managed to find a councillor that is based a little bit further away from me but has perfectly timed sessions that run on Sunday evenings. I’m glad living in London has its bonuses
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I signed up for the LL program about 2 weeks ago now and I’ve started to drink more water already to get my body used to the huge amounts of water I need to drink in the next few months. Strangely enough I’ve not been interested in snacking out as much as I used too. Walking through train station and not even stopping by the little kiosks for something to nibble on was a little bit of a strange feeling, but it definitely made me think that now is the right time to start this “diet”.
Well, I hoped I haven’t bored you to death already J
I’m planning on updating every couple of days depending on work. Please leave a comment, I would love to get to know more people that go through the same thing J
Xx Angy
 
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