Comments about the "fat you"

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by katalena, 12 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. katalena

    katalena Enjoying life!

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    I am not going to dress this up by using the word "overweight" or "big" or "larger" etc.. I usually call a spade a spade so why stop now...

    Whether you have lost a significant amount of weight or are on the way there.

    How do you feel about comments about the fat you? How you were before?

    Do you find it hurtful, insulting as it is ultimately still about you or do you brush it off and just think hey, I know I was fat and I am doing something about it now?

    I know this is a sensitive subject for some but not one many of us can say hasn't or won't happen.

    Kat xx

    ETA: this is not to fulfill a personal situation, just making conversation as it has been so quiet today!
     
    Last edited: 12 July 2009
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  3. peony

    peony Silver Member

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    Good question hon.
    I am right at the start of my weightloss so this isn't something I am faced with yet but....it is something I feel strongly about in that to me my weight problem is personal and embarrasing. I hate that everyone else in the world gets to see my problem and I am dreading even the positive congratulatory strokes of -' hey look how good you look now, did you lose weight?' As the subtext is 'hey you used to look like a piece of sh*t' whether they are concious that is what they are saying or not. I just don't want people to notice and comment, I just want to be thin. I do know this is something I will have to learn to deal with. I am not a shrinking violet by any means, I just don't want to stand out for my weight or lack of it.
    x
     
  4. icemoose

    icemoose The Diet Guy

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    My thoughts always were I got me big so I got me small !

    You are who you are, I don't deny or worry about my big past as that means you are living in the past, I prefer now to focus on what is infront of me and not behind me.

    Therefore is someone says I used to be fat then I would point out I also used to be a sperm ;-)

    Mike
     
  5. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    I have kind of run the gammit of feelings around this issue, from feeling sensitve, hurt - to feeling ashamed, guilty, unworthy, etc., to finally feeling, "Ya know what? That was who I was. And going through that made me who I am today, and I like who I am today. So, be it." And now I just roll with the punches.

    THough to be fair, I have had very few people say anything hurtful about me. Actually, much to my surprise, many people told me they did not see me as "morbidly obese" Jan, they just saw me as Jan. I found that really touching. BUt I digress..... :D
     
  6. Jo B

    Jo B Full Member

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    I think part of my problem is that I never saw myself as being as fat as I was - it's only when I look back at pictures of me at my biggest (I have been brave and put two in my profile album!) I realise how hideous I was. I, like most fat people, have suffered from the random comments from passers by - two which spring to mind was when leaving a take away with a meal for me and 3 others, two men walking past said "oh meal for one is it fatty?". The other one was friends of my parents who hadn't seen me for about 15 years asked my mum what happened to me to make me so fat. My mum, for some unknown reason, decided to tell me they had said this. I don't think she meant it unkindly but it really hurt.

    Generally I used to ignore it but these things do stay with you. So, now I have faced up to the fact that I was morbidly obese and whatever clothes I wore I couldn't hide the fact, I am finding it quite easy to accept the compliments that are coming with losing a shed load of weight. I take them in my stride and just say thank you because I have earned them. I have worked bloody hard to lose the 6 stone that I have done so far and deserve them! Having lost 6 stone (so far) I think most people would be blind not to notice.

    I am within 2 stone (28 measily pounds) of getting down to where I want to be currently. That may change but I am going to enjoy every good comment I get on the way down there as lord knows I have had enough bad ones.
     
    Last edited: 12 July 2009
  7. MagdaX

    MagdaX is Magdalicious

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    Oh i couldn't care less of what people say or think about me to be honest!
    I'm losing weight for ME and noone else and the only reason i do it is because i feel uncomfortable being fat.
    Other people's comments about how i looked like at my fattest are as irrelevant to me as them telling me what they had for dinner last night! ;)
    I respect other people's opinions though and if they wish to make any remarks on the fat me, let them do that.
    Simples.
    :D
     
    Last edited: 12 July 2009
  8. rainbow

    rainbow Gold Member

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    It makes me laugh when people say things like 'you've got such a pretty face' I like one of the above take it to mean, 'you've got a pretty face, shame you're fat' Im proud of what Im achieving, when I get to goal Id be interested to know what people REALLY thought bout the fat me lol x
     
  9. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    I knew I was fat, but also didn't see myself as fat as I really was. Until I saw pictures, probably why I avoided having my picture taken. Quite sad so many parts of my life are missing pictorially really. But yes I got myself that way, and I am getting myself thin. I found people tended to avoid mentioning how overweight I was, and complimented me on clothing choices or suchlike. I however always knew I was and never felt comfortable. Bring on the new me!

    Jez
    xx
     
  10. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    I'm probably not alone in the fact that pretty much the only person who ever made nasty comments or put me down about my weight was ME.

    However, I've made peace with the fact that I was fat, and now on the odd occasion when I get a comment about how I used to be really fat, I can comfortably say "Yes, I was".
     
  11. Needs2losealot

    Needs2losealot Full Member

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    Pete you took the words straight out of my mouth thats how i feel i am my biggest critersizer but i am on lighter life to change that so hopefully i can look back soon and say i feel different about myself and more confident in who i am.
    I have had many a fat comment and joke thrown at me the worst coming from my father inlaw saying i should have a muzzel on my mouth i have even had a car full of fellas shout abuse at me then proceed to throw eggs at me while waiting at the bus stop.And one night after anight out on the town i was walking home about 3am and again a car of men followed me and were shouting at me about being fat i was so frightened i had to hide behind some bins for 10 mins untill i was sure they were gone. But like you say thats in the past and im learning now that other peoples hang ups with me are there own not mine god im getting stronger already lol.

    x x x Sam x x x
     
  12. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    :mad: :( :( Sam, thats awful. :hug99:
     
  13. katalena

    katalena Enjoying life!

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    Yes it is! I have never experienced anything like that. How dare people!

    Sam (hugs)

    You are a beautiful woman and from what I can see a beautiful, caring personality. You will succeed at LL as you want it!

    Happy to be sharing the journey with you.

    Kat xx :)
     
  14. Jo B

    Jo B Full Member

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    Bless you Sam, that's dreadful - it never fails to amaze me how cruel people can be. When I've had comments from randoms they definitely do stay with you - at least you know you will never do the same to others xx
     
  15. Needs2losealot

    Needs2losealot Full Member

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    Aww thanks ladies big hugs back i got to say without you guys to talk to the journey would be very lonely so thank you. 4 days and going strong i have suprised myself so there is a stronger me there just bursting to get out and see this out all the way. x x x sam x x x
     
  16. MagdaX

    MagdaX is Magdalicious

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    I have been bullied about me weight all my life and it used to bother me a LOT but with time i learned to ignore those negative remarks and not take them into my heart. It's difficult i know but you have to overcome the fear and stop allowing others to put you down.
    What i also discovered was that all those people who were so horrible to me, were in fact very insecure and full of complexes themselves!! Most bullies bully to make themselves feel better about their own issues.
    I let them and smile as i walk away from them...
     
  17. Bex999

    Bex999 Member

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    Hi Everyone,
    I have my first LL meeting tomorrow but this thread really struck a chord with me. I have been 'bigger' my whole life but never really noticed until I was in my teens where people would always say 'oh she will be so pretty once she's loses her puppy fat' or being described as a 'big girl'. I REALLY hate that saying! How about describing me as something other than big! Sorry for rambling on my first post! I am very much looking forward to feeling better about myself for me and no-one else, and you guys all seem to have to achieved so much so I know where to turn if I need advice. Thanks for listening

    xx
     
  18. katalena

    katalena Enjoying life!

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    Hey Bex

    Welcome to LL and to Minimins! You will find this website great. Use it for information, advice, fun and laughter as well and tips etc...

    Kat xx
     
  19. Bex999

    Bex999 Member

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    Hi Kat,
    Thanks for your reply. Just wondering which class you go to because I also live in Gloucester! You've done amazing so far!
    xx
     
  20. katalena

    katalena Enjoying life!

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    Highnam Bex
     
  21. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    Hey Bex, welcome to the happiest place on the net! Come and chat anytime, share and enjoy this wonderful process!

    Jez
    xx
     
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