Does anyone else fight a constant battle in their head?

[Beki]

Everyday, usually more than once, i fight a battle in my head.

One part of me says "you'll never be truly happy with yourself until you're in a size 14-16, so keep going with the diet and you'll be there before the year is out"

The other part of me says "you love cooking from scratch - especially bread, cakes, puddings & stick-to-your-ribs meals - and you live in the middle of nowhere so only have to face the general public a couple of times a day when picking the kids up from school, so it doesn't really matter what you look like. you'd be far happier being fat and eating what you like, and cooking all the nice food you used to cook!"

Aggghhhrrrrr it drives me MAAAD

Up til now my 'good side' has always won, but i don't know how long i can hold the 'bad side' off for lol... And all i can think about is how i can do all the home cooking etc 'once i'm thin' - like once i'm thin it'll all be ok and i'll never get fat again LOL

Any pearls of wisdom to fight the demons, anyone?

 

[red1983]

Hey Beki,

My dark side has won the last few weeks - i constantly battle with myself.. I think oh its ok to have it i will start again tomorrow - been doing it again and again... But determined and focused again now!!! Sometimes when we are good we just need a blow out - i think i have had mine now (i hope i have) and i'm now back to it and determined!!!

Seriously i think most people have this battle witrh themselves - sometimes my dark side just wins!!! lol..

k xxx

 

[yo-yo-dieter]

Oh definitely! My good angel is constantly bickering with the little devil on the other shoulder. No idea how to deal with it though, just thought I would let you know you're not alone.

 

[jaylou]

I don't have many/any pearls of wisdom but I do know how you feel - every single day I am faced with temptation, whether it be the rocky road in starbucks, the cheese ploughmans doorstep sandwich in tesco, the steak panini in my local pub, big bars of chocolate, all the delicious full fat recipes on TV and in magazines.....

All I can say though, is that you can never go back to how you used to cook, you can still have wonderful food just prepared a different and healthier way. You can make your own bread, you just have to syn it or weigh it as a HEX (I know *Angie* does this) or have those "stick to your ribs" meals (love this term!) as a treat.

Do a for/against being slim list if you have never done one and put it on the fridge, great for reminding yourself why you put yourself through this daily battle.

Jay xx

 

[Mrs V]

I constantly battle with my demons too Huni. There are days where I feel as if Im yelling above that little voice that says "go on...one wont hurt you!"
I just think of the reasons why I started my journey again. If things happen along the way, you just have to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and carry on going.
I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter that I want to see grow up. I want to like me again but at the moment I dont like what I see in the mirror...so Im doing something about that.

 

[amythyst5961]

Stick in there girl....I think we all battle with these demons every day.

Thinking ahead - what to eat what not to.... where can I go.... planning your shopping.... it can be exhaustive but it is so rewarding when you start to see the results. Feeling better and positive... more enegrised..... healthy.... slipping into clothes and being able to shop where ever you like.

Of course people may only see you a couple of times but its not their opinions that matter.....The most important opinion is your own - are you are happy each time you look in the mirror. Your only goal should be how you want to look and feel.... and all that "old you" food is only ever a short term fix so keep it to treats.

keep yourself busy coming up with "healthier" cooking versions and share them on here - we all need the help.

xxxxxx

 

[Donnie46]

I am exactly the same as you Beki, I also live in an isolated village and because of my mobilty I never go out much either (not during the week anyway) so I think 'why should I bother, no one ever see's me' - but my health, mobility and quality of life will be so much better when I lose the weight that it has to be worth it to keep going on.....

I think the demons will always be there for me, I have been 'morbidly obese' (my Dr's words) for so many years that I am probably verging on paranoia now over it - so this time I am determined to fight those demons and prove to myself, my family and my Dr's that I can lose this weight once and for all.

So don't worry Beki, you are certainly not on your own thinking like that. X

 

[cocktailprincess]

The more you lose, the less you will have to convince yourself of which path you really want to take. It may seem harder at the mo because you are only noticing slight differences which seem small compared to the massive lifestyle changes you have made.

Over time the lifestyle changes become easier and actually enjoyable (new food, exercise, etc) and the benefits become more important (getting compliments, fitting into clothes better, not getting out of breath as much)

You really owe it to yourself to be the person you want to be- if it was easy, none of us would be here, all of us knowing exactly what it is like to have a 'bad' voice tell us destructive things.

You can do this, mate!

xxxx

 

[Beki]

Thanks so much for your replies everyone - i'm nowhere near letting the bad side win yet but was interested to hear how other people deal with it on a daily basis. It's nice to know i'm not alone!

Got to go and pick up DS from nursery now, so sorry for the short reply! But thanks everyone - i feel a lot better now! xxxx

 

[pumpkin2008]

My evil binge eating demon usually wins :cry: It definatly has now for a few weeks so I need to give it a boot out of my head again! Lol x

 

[princessria]

i used to let it get me down hon but now i think it's not so much a battle , the more you do this diet the easier the choices get your views on food change you change your habits it's very rare even when i think i have been massively naughty now i gain alot of weight because the goal posts appear to have changed without me even realising my food habits are so so different i wouldn ave thought twice of eating half a cheese cake or even the whole thing now i feel like a little bit is enough cause i nkow my limits and my stomache has shrunk, don't give up hope hon it isn always a battle and half of the problem is not treating it like one XXXX

 

[Circes]

Think about it - the person who speaks to you most during the day is that inner voice in your head.

Imagine that you had a friend who constantly put you down, telling you that "you're fat", "you're worthless", "you're stupid", " you're never going to lose weight", "you're a failure". What would you do? You'd tell them to take a running jump and a few choicer phrases than that

So why do you let yourself do it? You wouldn't dream of saying all those things to anyone else! Why don't you deserve the same respect? You are making yourself miserable - literally. Negative thoughts breed off each other - one leads to another and before you know it you've got an empty family-sized cadbury's wrapper in your hand.

You have to re-programme yourself. It's a bad habit, the same as eating fatty foods is a bad habit. And to change a bad habit you have to make a conscious effort not to do the negative things. You then keep on doing it until that becomes second nature - and before you know it you have a new habit.

What I did was I decided I wasn't going to allow any negative thoughts about myself. The moment one started to form I imagined a big traffic light stop sign right in front of my face. I stop that thought in it's tracks. Then I turn it around on itself so that instead of being a negative thought it turns into something positive. The traffic light changes to green and I can move on, with this positive thought ringing in my ears. Each time you do it it becomes easier until you don't have negative thoughts about yourself any more.

For example:
"I've just eaten a giant-size mars bar. I'm useless at diets and always fail, so what's the point in carrying on"
RED LIGHT and breathe
"The past is in the past and I can't change it. I've had x syns today but can cut down tomorrow so that I'm still on plan. I'm in control of what I put in my mouth and I know SW works because I've already lost y pounds"
GREEN LIGHT and move on

I found out later that re-programming your inner voice is actually a recognised psychotherapy technique. Check out Dawn Breslin's books on the subject if you're looking for inspiration.

 

[Frontier-Phil]

"No I don't"..... "yes you do "..." No I don't" " YES YOU DO"! look shut up..... "No I won't" !!!!!.

Nope never had a problem !

Phil x

 

[Beki]

haha that made me laugh

thanks for the advice everyone! hoping i can silence the bad side, but i've a feeling it's not going to be easy LOL

 

[HellieCopter]

Constantly mate...constantly! Just getting through the day is a battle...but every time I choose a SW friendly option for lunch instead of the caesar baguette, crisps and chocolate, I have won one battle in the war. Ignoring the 'emergency' minstrels in my glove box - victory. Not eating OH's snickers bar in the fridge - victory. Not baking that cake - victory. Not glugging the olive oil on the roast veg - victory.

With each little victory, the war is gradually being won. And the more you win, the easier it gets to keep winning.

 

[anwen]

I agree with the suggestion to find ways of making the things you like to make (ok, maybe not the cake too often...) but in a SW-friendly way. E.g. maybe you could make a small batch of dinky wholemeal rolls and challenge yourself to get them as close as possible to 57g each?

I made the most ridiculously filling thing this weekend, I used chicken sausages which are about 3 syns each on EE but only ended up having room for about a sausage and a half per portion, or it would probably be just as good with diced chicken pieces/lamb/etc:

"dry fry" some chopped onions in the style described in the SW recipe books [basically put them in a frying pan with about 500ml of stock, bring to the boil then simmer for about half an hour until they go all soft and the liquid's almost all gone] and add some green lentils at the start.

Brown your meat of choice (chop the sausages up first, if using them) in Frylight in another pan* and add some chopped/crushed garlic to the pan with the meat, and a good pinch of your favourite mixed herbs/spices. This'll probably only take 5-10 minutes so wait till the onions and lentils have been going for 20-25 minutes.

Meanwhile, chop up some tomatoes (I take out the middles as otherwise it can be a bit watery) or open a tin of them. Chop a nice orange or yellow pepper or two into smallish chunks. When the onions and lentils and meat seem ready, stick everything into whichever pan is biggest and simmer for a while (at least until the meat is fully cooked, obv).

The first time I made it I had my usual large bowl of food, with lots of salad, a fair sized portion of the above and some couscous. I think I managed to eat, ooh, a bit less than half? It was awesome! And I was still not remotely hungry a few hours later. Marvellous stuff. It's also really nice cold i.e. makes a great packed lunch.

(er, I know my quantities are very vague, that's how I tend to cook... Probably about a cup of lentils, a pack of sausages, a tin of tomatoes or 5 fresh ones)


*probably doable in one pan if you can be bothered to shove all the onions and lentils out of the way but tbh it's less faff to just do the extra bit of washing up...

 

[Danielle_]

Its nice to know we all find it hard . with me its when i have a few extra syns i just think err sod it ill start again next week :[