Down about photos


Yo-yo dieter here for the gazillionth time
Saw my mum at the weekend for the first time since CD and she said I looked great so that was nice but she took a few photos of me and I think I look terrible. I have always despised photos of me because of my weight but even though I'm half way there on my weight loss and a healthy BMI now, I still think I look fat and awful and just plain ugly. The stuff I was wearing looked terrible even though it was new and I have no waist!! I guess I expected to look like a completely different person now I've gone on a diet and I just don't. I know none of you know what I look like so couldn't possibly comment - it's just the realisation that I can try and lose loads of weight but I'll never look like a model!!!
I posted something on this yesterday:-

When you are fat, you see yourself slimmer than you are but when you are slim you see yourself fatter than you really are.

Regarding looking like a model, go have a makeover done at one of those "be a model for a day" places - I know Olan Mills do them, they have them all over the country. They do your hair and makeup and they use all flattering lighting.

I had one done at the height of my fatness and it is amazing what they can do to you and how different you look!

In fact I was actually thinking that I may actually book that when I get to my goal weight.

In the cold light of day though I don't look anything like that!
Oh Jubbly,Im sorry the pictures made you feel down Im just like you I absolutely hate my picture being taken even when I was 8 1/2 stone...just never liked my pic taken.
Your Mum said you looked great I bet you do,You have lost nearly 2 stone and thats a fantastic loss even if you dont feel you look great.What did your Mum say about the pictures?Did she say you look bad?
Not many of us here willl look like a model but you have to think you look alot better than you did before your weight loss journey?Have you got a photo of when you started ?Put the pics next to each other if you have then take a step back and see the differance?
When you get to goal you'll look differant again and just imagion if you gave up now how terrible you'd feel if at Christmas when you could be at Goal how bad it will be having your photo taken if you hadnt stuck to it.
No we cant see you and others who look at your photos wouldnt probably think you look bad like you think you do.........we pecieve ourselves differantly than what others do.If you didnt like what you were wearing than what an excellant excuse to go on that shopping blitz!!!!?
Smile your doing fab and getting to that target :D
Ah honey - don't feel down - hardly any of us will look like models when we've finished dieting. Let's face it most of what we see of models/celebs in mags etc is all airbrushing anyway - I bet a lot of them are right mingers in the flesh.

You've done really well - over half your target - well done you!. If you don't like what you look like have you ever tried going shopping with a personal shopper? They look at you with completely new eyes and will get you try on loads of styles etc you've never probably thought of before. Alternatively you could look for some advice on how to dress for your shape etc - there are loads of magazines etc that offer all sorts of advice like that.

I hate photos of myself even now, almost 12 stone lighter. I still see a fat blimpy woman with crap skin, saggy boobs, a backside that's given up trying to defy gravity and a stomach - well 2 actually - that just have to be seen to be believed! And if I told you what my legs/varicose veins and bat wing arms were like you'd burst into tears - it's hideous!

But, having said all that, I'm a lot healthier, know I can fit into most clothes sizes in "normal" shops and I know nobody is really looking at me and thinking "look at the state of her" even tho I still feel they are.

Concentrate on how good you feel inside - that's the important thing - the rest is vanity - your health is paramount. Post a picture of yourself and I bet you get loads of true compliments, you are not ugly you just don't look like a model and what we see of them is all fake anyway.

Chin up, keep going and love yourself a bit more!

Thanks guys. I'm getting my hair done blonde on Thursday so the change of image might cheer me up. I want to go to one of those photoshoots when I'm target weight but doubt I could afford it. The thing is, sometimes I don't think I look so bad in the mirror but I hate literally EVERY photo that's taken of me and tend to think photos are more accurate and reflect what people really see and it's always a shock to me as my powers of delusion are quite something!! Mum thought the picture was nice but she would say that cos she's my mum and she knows I hate the way I look. I just tend to think I'm realistic.
Oh sweetie dont feel down about the piccy. A lot of people hate getting their pic taken and I think it really reflects on the photo. You can see how unfomfortable they were getting it taken so its not going to be a model photo is it.
Now you have lost a lot of weight so congrats! And if your mum says you look great. Then you look great! You know how judging mums can be right? lol

If you have a healthy bmi then your just fine. Like someone suggested some new clothes to go with your new body shape. If you look like you dont have a waist then go for high trousers (not hipsters) with a nice belt to draw attention to the waist this will create the illusion of a waist. Also tops that taper in at the waist and go out slightly again at the hips will concentrate on your waist.

You need to pamper yourself. Try out some new make up? I always fine that works. Just get a nice new foundatin new lippy and eyeshadows, even if its colours you would never dream of using. Try it and experiment. Also book an appointment at the hairdresser. How about getting a new style to frame your face? I used to be a hairdresser and had loads of clients who would come in and ask what would suit them so dont be afraid to ask!
Add some highlights/lowlights to your new style too! All these little things will add up to a new makeover. it might be just what you need to get your confidence back :)

Good luck and dont be so hard on yourself. Im sure you looked just gawjuss in that pic anyway! :D xoxox
Hi Jubbly,

I go through different phases about my photos of myself, but I can tell you that I do prefer the slim ones at the end of the day.

This is a process that will take time and there is so much head stuff going on at the same time as we lose weight.

Love Mini xxx
I do understand how you feel, when I ahve photos taken of me I never like them first off, i had some done at astudio the otherdday and when I viewed them all i could see were my wrinkles and lumps and bumps and although my friend said they were lovely , I couldnt see it at all.
Then when we got back i showed them to my husband who said they wre "nice" hes not given to flattery and so I still thought " oh maybe they are really avarage!!". then my friends husband said they were lovely and thenI felt confident to show them to other friends who wre really nice about them on the whole( theres always one!!!) and then the more I looked at them the more I could see that infact on one ot two I did look not too bad, that then made me see that it takes time to learn to see ourselves as others see us and that what we see in photos and in the mirror take a while to get used to, anyway the thing I am really trying to say is , look again at your pictures and the more you look the more you will see them as others do. It just takes time.
You're all great and made me feel much better on a bit of a low day cheers :) I'm just coming to the conclusions that a) I have impossibly high expectations which I am not capable of reaching b) It's very difficult to see yourself as others see you (but I'll work on that Lavender) c) This diet can do a lot but it can't change who you are and I still need to work on consistently feeling more positive about myself and d) I must stop constantly comparing myself unfavourably to others which isn't very productive especially if they are a size 8-10, very cool and can wear anything with style!! I might even pluck up the courage to post a photo when I have my new hair.
you should be proud of what you have achieved to date. How many people actually think they are atractive? Not many, we all have hangups about our bodies and looks. Flopster hit the nail on the head!! when you are overweight you never see yourself being sooo big, and when your slimmer, you think you are still fat.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - believe your mum!!

Know just how you feel.hate photos of me,can not see the slimmer me that everyone else sees,even today went shopping picked up some size 18 and 16 bits to try on and could emagine everyone saying why has she got them silly cow they will never fit her,well do you know they would have been right as the 18 were to big,but in my eyes thet should have been to small.We still see ourselves as bigger,and photos always to show the bad parts of us more well that is what I think any way.
I bet you look great,its just that you mind is playing sillies again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As someone who hates being in photos I know what you mean. I just look like a rabbit caught in the headlights - if I'm caught unawares I do look quite natural and do have a few good photos - I just hate posed for ones!

One good thing about being divorced is that I avoid my Mother in Law who always had a camera in tow. We used to joke that should she lose an arm she'd have the prosthetic built with a camera on it!

LOL, I know exactly what you mean. My boyfriend's mother constantly takes photos, really posed ones which, as you say, never come out as well as spontaneous ones. She's great and all but I really can't stand it. She has charted my whole miserable weight gain in photos over 6 years and put the stupid things in albums and everything. I wish there was a way I could magic all those pictures away - I never even want to be in any of them anyway. And then it makes it worse when people say 'oh you look really nice in that picture' because they feel sorry for poor, fat Clare or maybe, an even worse prospect, you usually look worse than in those picture. If I was to split up with my boyfriend (hypothetically speaking, I'm not planning to) then what would any future girlfriend think looking at all those piccies?? Oops, rant over - I really don't like photos as you may be able to tell.
Jubbly i HATE pictures too - i'm on a dating site and i have to take about 100 pics before i'm happy with posting just one! I think some of us are just not photogenic - and photos are very misleading - blimey some of the guys i've met on the internet have proved to be NOTHING like their pics, and i would never recognise them if i didn't know exactly where i was meeting them!!!!!!

So, quit the negative thinking, you are doing brilliantly!! I am delighted with my transformation, and i'm sure you will be too - my expectations were very low in terms of how i would turn out, so i guess anything would have been a bonus!!

Good luck with the rest of the diet!
This is an extract from my diary:

Friday 23rd June

Doing my blog yesterday and posting the progress pictures has made me face up to just how far I have left to go on my weight loss journey. It’s funny because I am looking the best I have in 9 years but now I am actually forcing myself to have pictures taken I am actually aware of how I look and there is no escaping it for me. I feel worse about my body now than I did 2 ½ stone ago. I think that having these progress shots done will help me to continue to my goal rather than thinking at 12 ½ stone at the end of the foundation stage that maybe I’m ok after all.

I have to get back to a normal healthy weight which is less than 11st 5lbs and I would love to go back to being a 10/12 or even just a 12 but a 10/12 would be my absolute dream. I’m not sure my body would be able to attain this after having had a child so all I can do is see when I get down there. Even when I was a skinny teenager I was only about 10st 2lbs so I need to be objective about how much weight I can actually drop whist still looking healthy. There’s no point in going bull headed for a set goal weight if it won’t suit me.
On the other hand, you weren't humiliated in a boned cream silk top and skirt, forced to stand in font of hundreds of people with photos that make you look like a jaundiced heifer taken by the wedding photographer (aka DH).

In other words, bridesmaid at your brothers wedding!

I cried when DH showed me the photos. OK, I'm Indian so cream doesn't look good on me. But I thought I looked good and was devastated. I'd lost 30lbs by that stage. Did I think thank God and think what I could have looked like? Nope.

I felt so good that I think I was suffering 'body dysmorphic function' that process by which you think losing some of the weight has transformed you into Kate Moss ie two foot taller and a size 6. Even if your skeleton would never be a 6. :rolleyes:

But I showed someone (unwillingly) the photos the other day and they said, but you're loads slimmer. And this is true, I've lost another stone since then and am now 5 or 9lbs from goal ( haven't quite decided what it should be).

Keep going and the photos will eventually make you look like you are in your head.

Unless you're like me and constantly surprised that you're a short Indian girl (whose Mum once offered to pay for a nose job instead of an 18 birthday party) and not a supermodel!!
I felt so good that I think I was suffering 'body dysmorphic function' that process by which you think losing some of the weight has transformed you into Kate Moss ie two foot taller and a size 6. Even if your skeleton would never be a 6. :rolleyes:

This is weird, I've thought the same thing. Sometimes I think there's a genuine problem with me like BDD - I get so up myself in my head and feel really positive and then feel absolutely devastated when I see myself in pictures because that's not what I think I should look like and realise I live in a fantasy world. Even when I was big I still had the same delusions. Maybe it's media saturation with images of waif like models? I try and think what would someone think of me if they didn't know me because I know how much people are judged on what they look like but I just can't see anything other than the bad things (but I did re assess the photos last night and decided my legs are fab so at least that's something). Sorry you didn't like your photos, I really know how you feel. I may not have been in wedding photos but I'm in pictures I despise that my boyf's mum has put all over her living room (next to pictures of her willowy size 10 daughter). Grrr....
Hi There

I've just read your messages and can completely understand how you feel - I used to think I looked ok in photos but more recently and because of weight gain, I think look completely dreadful! You must remember though, it's not true that "the camera never lies" it frequently does! Its a well known fact that cameras can add up to 10lbs to how you look. I'm not an expert but the little I know may help you rationalise looking bad in pic - unless you have a super douper photographers lens, normal lenses have to compensate for the 3d'ness of objects etc so the depth of the image may not always come out as a true representation. Be assured that your photo will not be how you look in real life - in reality I am sure you look fantastic! esp with such a great weight loss. I'm only on my third day so your weight loss serves as an inspiration to me and I'm sure others who are just at the beginning.

One last point to make - in my opinion those models are more unhealthy than anyone who is overweight. When a fashion show has to ban models who have a bmi less than 16 - thats saying something about the industry and the media - they have a lot to answer for. I don't know if you heard what Kate Winslet said the other week - she hates it when photographers airbrush out her "bad bits" as it mis-represents her and portrays the image that she too is a stick insect. She's really a healthy woman with shape - which is how us women are supposed to be!!

I hope you feel more positive v soon

L x