Facing a lot of objection 5 stone in!

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by helenfrompoole, 29 September 2009 Social URL.

  1. helenfrompoole

    helenfrompoole Full Member

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    So it turns out loosing 5 stone means a lot of people think i should come off the diet.

    Firstly, my brother, who i love dearly and i know only wants the best for me has set up an appointment for a very expensive dietician in london (where my bro lives) and says that he wants me to hear this guy out, with my brother willing to pay all expenses, since he really wants me to come off the diet.

    And now my friends say i should come off, since ive lost 5 stone and have had sickness (which dr says is NOTHING to do with cd) and say they do not want it to detriment my health.

    I just wanna get to a healthy bmi which is 2 stone 10 away.. and I feel like it is more of a battle now to keep people happy than it was at the beginning.

    The thing is I cant hate these people for saying this, they all love me and only want the best for me -so its difficult to fight objection from those who only want good things for you.


    Has anyone else found the more you loose the more objection you face? I would have throught it to be the other way around?
     
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  3. mrsessex

    mrsessex Gold Member

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    In a word, no

    I'm near the 5 stone off mark and have encouragement from every angle with the exception of one v jealous and dare I say fat collegue that I'm very mad to 'starve' myself

    Just take no notice of anyone

    You keep going your doing brill x
     
  4. helenfrompoole

    helenfrompoole Full Member

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    Thanks hon, I wish I had your strength, for some reason I really worry about what others think. I feel like my success and my goal are being pulled from under me- make sense?

    Will have to get a thicker skin!
     
  5. mrsessex

    mrsessex Gold Member

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    My thicker skin comes with age :D wasn't this bolshy until I had kids LOL then I turned into a protective mouthy monster ooops :D

    You carry on as you are my luv. People naturally care about you but just smile, agree and let their advise go over your head

    ;)
     
  6. charlotte_k

    charlotte_k Silver Member

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    Some of my family want me to stop. I just tell them that its my body and I can do what I want. And reassure them that I won't turn into a lollypop!! lol x x
     
  7. Blingbabe

    Blingbabe Back On Track!

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    When I did Lighterlife I had one 'friend' that kept telling me to come off the diet. She was a trained nurse and still working in a hospital; on one occasion she even told me that she'd had a conversation about me with some doctors at her place of work (outside of London) and they had all thought my diet was dangerous. Well, I had a medical prior to starting LL and my GP was very supportive, so I just told her that there was an extremely different medical view in London and let the doctors debate the issues themselves - nothing to do with me.

    I also have to add that this friend turned out to be very jealous of my weight loss and the benefits that it would bring me.

    You know what you want to do- so stick to your plans x
     
  8. MissPinky

    MissPinky Shrinky Pinky!

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    I havn't had much objection, but there has been a notable shift as I've got further on with my CD journey, and of late it's been 'oh but you're stopping now right? cos you don't need to lose anymore now do you?' etc. The most notable was from a friend who jacked in Cambridge a few weeks back to lose his last weight 'going it alone' (ahem...). He said - with an urgency in his voice - 'you should stop now because you're in danger of going too far. I think you know what I mean!'. I certainly did know what he meant! And it was nothing to do with my weight...

    I'm toying with saying (to the next person who says 'but you're stopping now, right?') 'oh no, I thought I'd try to get down to a size 0! Just a few more months!' just as a p*** take, but even in jest I don't think I could take the earache!!!

    You're right, you don't have to hate these people for saying these things - and shouldn't! But I'm not sure it indicates they only want what's good for you - it's their view of what's good for you. You're in the best position to know what's good and best for you, and it's rather presumptious to assume that somehow this diet is 'wrong' or needs to stop or isn't good for you.

    You can politely decline the appointment - that's quite extreme imho. (What's the root of your brother's concern here?) You can politely but firmly set your friends straight too. Do what you need to do - and if continuing to your healthy BMI is it, as long as you are content to do so, you should do that. You're an adult, after all!
     
  9. *butterfly*

    *butterfly* Silver Member

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    Haven't really ever given two hoots what people think, and its not changing. I do get comments, mainly from people who don't know me that well such as 'don't take it too far', or 'you've lost enough now', and i just tell them i'm fine, i still have a while to go until i am no longer classed as obese and will move up the plans then. I have tried to educate people about it, if they ask, because i believe most of the concern is due to ignorance, some people i think do care, and i do suspect a few may just not like seeing a new 'me' which may challenge their own sense of self in terms of their weight - (me always having been the 'fat one').

    No one would turn round to a trim pretty size 10/12 and tell them they have to eat more, as they see that as normal. Yet for some reason, when you are overweight and try to improve your health by changing this its seen as ok for others to comment. No one told me at 16 stone i was killing myself!

    I hope you have the strength in yourself to be able to ride through this, cd does work and hopefully will remain life changing for most of us. I certainly feel quite determined to make this a long term change to my health- and this is maybe also in part to see such people eat their own words! You only get one life, do what the hell you want, don't let others 'interfere' too much. If you were to stop because of others you'd probably and up regretting it.
    Take it easy, happy losing xx
     
  10. Coley

    Coley Re-starter

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    Although we find it difficult to see our changing size....have to remember, other people find it difficult to accept the changing size.

    This 5 stone smaller you is not the YOU they're used to. Give it time :)

    Fingers crossed that's all it is.
     
  11. Mala

    Mala Full Member

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    I also have a couple of people at work who thinks this diet is ridiculous. They've also seen me fail at so many diets before. Now, they sometimes ask "you still sticking to it then?", almost as if they can't believe it or (as with one, rather large, lady) sounding as if she wishes I WILL fail.. But, so many other colleagues are proud of me and they've already noticed the weight coming off, even if it's just a stone. They see me walking past their desks a lot more now than before, with my water, shakes and frequent visits to the loo! Yesterday, one girl told me I'm looking smaller - it felt great! :)

    My boss however, blames every "ailment" of mine these days, on the diet. If I'm feeling tired, or like the other day when I noticed my nails were flaking, she immediately says "no wonder, with that diet you're on!" I just told her that I probably get more nutrients in me now than I ever did when I was eating a lot of junk!

    So maybe you can tell your well meaning friends this, show them how many vitamins and minerals there are in the packs. Ok, you cant see it on the shakes and soups, but the bars show the ingredients and it's quite impressive.

    Don't listen to them, you're doing so good and you're an inspiration! x
     
  12. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    You could ask why your brother thinks you've gone too far when your BMI of 31 still puts you slightly in the obese bracket? I think you have done AMAZINGLY well and are a real inspiration, but it must be so hard now to have support withdrawn. Can you let your brother know how upset you feel & ask why he can't support you wanting to reach a healthy BMI? (You are so almost there hun!)

    I'd be the same, so sad that he cannot be behind you on this. I suspect he is used to seeing you bigger and can't adjust to the 'sudden' loss. Does your own GP support you? Could you not use that as a lever for your brother? Also explain that CD was originally devised within hospital system, by doctors? A private dietician may well say whatever the person paying them would like them to say - I'd be wary that you may not get a fair kind of feedback.

    I do really feel for you helen, and know how unsettling this must be, I had comments like this all thru from a friend who eventually got quite nasty & finally broke the friendship. I don't think its the smae for you, I think your brother does genuinely care, but either way, it's time to talk.

    Stay strong and best of luck.

    xxx
     
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  13. Claudine004

    Claudine004 Oh Yea!

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    I know your family want what is best for you because they love you, but they do not always know what is best.

    But when you were 5 stone heavier and your health was really at risk, surely that was the time to encourage you to see a dietician and pay for the apointment?

    Now you have begun the really hard journey and improved your health by yourself now it's time to tell you about your diet? Interesting?

    I just wanted to say well done for losing what you have. I hope you continue to do what is right for YOU.

    Good luck.
     
  14. Witchy

    Witchy ButtERfly

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    I think if your not doing the diet, you dont understand the diet, its hard and im sick of people telling me its unhealthy, er no I am the unheathly one thats why Im doing this so I can be healthy again, ive had arguments with people over this and the subject is taboo now, its my body and my doctor has told me to stay on it after a short break put me in hospital cos of binging and silly eating, he thinks I should finish my journey.

    Just stay firm and do what you want to do, you have achieved so much so far your amazing.
     
  15. minxie

    minxie One day at a time!

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    Poor you, it's hard enough losing weight without everyone telling you to stop! You have done fantastically well to lose 5stone already and I guess your family and friends have not seen you at a healthy weight for a few years and forget what you would look like at a "normal" BMI.
    What they see is a massive change, and possibly someone who doesn't go out to lunch/dinner/drinks with them much anymore! You don't mention whether they are all healthy weights or not, which can have an effect on how they see what you are doing.

    Ride out the storm if you can - you have your goal in sight and you will feel such a great sense of achievement when you get there. It's funny how people feel they can make comments on your weight and try and change your mind re diets - if you said you were having a 2-storey extension built on your house and everyone said "oh you don't need that, just build a 1-storey one" you'd think, bu**** that, I will get what I want! Think about your weightloss goals in the same way - it's not as if you are intending to do anything dangerous or trying to get to a ridiculous BMI. Good luck:)
     
  16. jlm

    jlm Full Member

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    miss pinky your post made me laugh about the size zero thing(in a good way!) i am so going to say that when i am near goal!!i agree with lots of the comments... often people are jealous (though i hope not in case of good friends/family) and like someone else said... they dont know how to cope with the slimmer you. I am the biggest out of 3 girls in family and a have a slim mum, when i lose weight they find it hard that they cant just think of me as the 'bigger' one. (even though i am still usually bigger than them) and will tell me to enjoy myself etc.... we have to just stay focussed and not let the negative comments get us down. I know family mean well but we need support and encouragement then we will make the right decision!
     
  17. xtwinklex

    xtwinklex Eat to live don't live to eat!

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    I do feel for you hun, I've had loads of comments like that, 'you need to stop now or you will get too slim' etc, one of the reasons I didn't tell my family! I usually calmly explain that I am still classed as overweight and until I have a healthy bmi and feel comfortable in my own skin then I fully intend to carry on! My husband is extremely supportive thankfully so a few comments off other people don't tend to bother me!

    I, like a previous poster, would politely decline the dietician appointment, tell your brother you appreciate his concern and show him your bmi calculations etc written down so he can see how far you are going to go to become a healthy weight.

    Good luck hun
    xx
     
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  19. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    You have done brilliantly! and yeah, you get more comments as you get closer to goal.

    BUT, I am concerned about you because of the sickness :( I'm worried that if you are throwing up a lot of it, you aren't going to be getting what you need and should be on a higher plan. Even if you 'lose' one pack you should really have another

    Perhaps that's what is concerning them? If it isn't diet related, no need to come off it...but a higher plan would be safer :hug99:
     
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