Grief eating

[Seaneen]

I've been having a tough time sticking to this diet recently. One of my best friends died in December, after a battle with depression and alcoholism. It was my dad's anniversary a few days ago, and he died due to alcoholic liver failure two years ago. My grandad also died last month.

I have been having a tough time coping with all this recently. I guess things are hitting me somewhat. I'm only twenty two and it's difficult to deal with close deaths occuring in a short space of time.

I still want to lose weight but it feels so superfluous at the moment. I have barely been on this diet. I haven't gained any weight whatsoever but I know I will hate myself if I don't give this a chance. I don't want to be on another diet ever again.

I want this to be it but emotionally, I'm finding it difficult. Whereas I'm not exactly using food as a comfort, eating, eating normally, is normal, and is one of the only normal things in my life right now.

How do you get around emotional issues like grief and get into the swing of things?

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Big hugs to you for having to face the death of your friend followed by the anniversary of your fathers death.

If you are not gaining weight at the moment - are you happy maintaining as you are for a bit?? or do you definately want to lose more now??

Grief affects people in different ways - some comfort eat - and some lose their appetite. You are not gaining, therefore i guess you are not comfort eating. Is it that you feel guilty worrying about dieting when also dealing with such momentous life changing deaths?

I don't really have the answers I'm afraid - perhaps someone who has had to deal with something like this maybe able to help more.

Maybe some grief/bereavement counselling would help??

 

[Seaneen]

I think some therapy is being lined up for me by my CPN. It's been quite a long wait.

I do feel guilty worrying about dieting, it feels so self obsessed. At the same time- I want to be in control, y'know? To have one thing in my life that I can manage and handle. The CD has been good for that, because it's so structured, but I feel like a failure for not even being able to do that.

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Hope the counselling comes along soon for you - can you chase it up??


I understand the need for having something to control - don't worry too much about not being 100% successful at doing Cd at the moment. You have to grieve and allow yourself time. CD and dieting will still be there for you whenever you feel able to crack it. Many of us feel failures for not having got CD or our chosen eating plan licked - but you haven't failed until you give up.

Give yourself some TLC and come on here whenever, if ever you need to. There is a late night sofa spot if you need to download feelings etc. http://www.minimins.com/families-relationships-past-present-future/21997-late-night-sofa.html

 

[LizDesigns]

Hi,
I don't want to say I know what you're going through as everyone deals with grief differently. On the 25th of this month it will be the 2nd anniversary of my brother David's death. He was only 24 and died in a motorbike accident. He was actually one of the primary reasons for me starting CD. He was the type of guy that never stopped, if there was something he wanted to do, he did it.
I've had my life on hold for the last 5 years because of my weight and enough was enough. His life was cut far too short and yet out of choice I was doing the same. So this is it, i'm going to lose this weight and start living my life again. This will be my tribute to him.
You can use grief in a number of ways, I just hope this has shown you that you can also use it in a positive way.
I wish you all the luck with the diet, i'm sure that your loved ones that have passed on would not see it as selfish.
Sorry if i've rambled on, take care.

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Liz
That is a lovely post .

Sorry to hear about your brother, but how proud would your brother be of you doing this in his memory? Well done!

 

[Nat]

You have been through such a lot and at such a young age, i think you are doing fantastic by talking about how you feel, its definitely a good start. i don't know exactly what you are going through but i lost my mum in october after an awful batter with lung and brain cancer, i spent the majority of the last nine months of her life sitting with her, looking after her, along with my dad and sister and comfort eating with her, if we ate, she'd eat, so what do you do, and weight was the last thing on my mind. I put on 3stone during that time and it wasn't until the beginning of March this year that i was able to even think about losing my weight, it wasn't important to me before then, so i guess what im trying to say is, if you are ok as you are at the moment and dont think that dieting is at the top of your priorities, then i wouldnt worry too much, you will know when the right time is. As for bereavement counselling,i would highly recommend it, i had a course when i lost my mum and it did me the world of good to let all my thoughts out to someone who wasn't connected to my family.

im so sorry for waffling on, i think you've helped me tonight, as was feeling pretty sad.

keep that chin up x