Halley - my journey

Halley

Halley

Full Member
Hi Everyone!

My name is Halley and I’ve struggled all my life with weight. I first joined WeightWatchers in 1997 and have been a member on and off since then. My highest weight was 22st 12lbs and my most recent weight loss effort was a couple of years ago and resulted in a 9 stone weight loss. As always though, I’m not able to maintain and the weight has crept back up slowly. On Jan 1st this year I weighed 18st 6lbs. I went back to strict on plan and I now weigh 17st 1lb.


I want to keep a diary here because I want to motivate myself. I’m going to be 44 on my next birthday and my weight is going to seriously affect my health soon. My hips and knees are already sore and I know it’s just going to get worse. I’m 5ft 8ins and I really want to get to 14st which is just an overweight BMI of 29.8.


Here I go...
 
Well I’m still going strong here...


Last Friday I weighed 16st 11lbs, this is a BMI of 35.7. I am super happy with this, I’ve lost 23lbs since Jan 1st this year and I’m 85lbs down from my highest weight. I am feeling very positive regarding loosing at the moment and really want this momentum to continue.


Here are my current thoughts on keeping this momentum going...


I’ve been keeping a food diary since 2013, it’s sad really but I’ve logged every morsel that’s gone into my mouth for nearly 8 years now. I was pointing my food with WW pro points but now do WW smart points. Through analysing my food diary, I’ve realised I loose weight if I’m off plan 2 nights of the week. Off plan 3 nights I stay the same (if I’m significantly over exercising I’ll loose) and off plan 4 or more nights means I gain.


I go off plan on Friday and Saturday nights, this includes an off plan family dinner like lasange and garlic bread or a proper roast with all the trimmings. Then I have chocolate, crisps and maybe alcohol. This feeds my chronic binge eating disorder and keeps me motivated because at least I have something to look forward to.


I fast from 6pm until 8am Sunday through Thursday.


Exercise isn’t a big part of my life at the moment, I’ve got 2 young children and I just can’t snatch time to do exercise. I have an exercise bike upstairs but my main one is walking, I will have time when my youngest goes to play school in September so I need to hold steady until then.


I watch shows like My 600lb Life as I truly believe my natural proclivity is to be like the people on those shows. However I don’t want the health issues that comes with this level of obesity so I try to accept that I must spend all my life fighting against myself.


I live in Wicklow in Ireland and we’re currently locked down due to COVID19 and I actually think it’s helping me. Everything is so boring but also so stable and I’m trying to take advantage of this time to get my weight back down again. I suspect everyone will go crazy when we can go back out again and it will be extremely challenging to stay on plan. However I’ll worry about that then!
 
Susie58 said:
Hi, how are you getting on?
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Hi Susie58,

I’m getting on well at the moment, I’m motivated and feeling good. I really wish I could bottle this motivation and keep some of it for when I go uncontrollably off plan and just eat all around me 😩
 
Hi Halley. I've found eating low carb really reduces my compulsive eating. I'm here to post daily and stay on track. I look forward to keeping you company as we shed the lbs.
 
AliGal said:
Hi Halley. I've found eating low carb really reduces my compulsive eating. I'm here to post daily and stay on track. I look forward to keeping you company as we shed the lbs.
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Hi Ali,

I find low carb really difficult to fit in with life, I don’t like always eating differently to everyone else.

All the best for staying on track, I’ll look forward to see how you’re getting on.
 
Halley said:
Hi Susie58,

I’m getting on well at the moment, I’m motivated and feeling good. I really wish I could bottle this motivation and keep some of it for when I go uncontrollably off plan and just eat all around me 😩
Click to expand...

My downfall is definitely carbs so I avoid them as much as possible. Problem is one lot of carbs always leads to more & before you know it all resolve has flown out of the window. Is there any way you could limit your access to the types of food that throw you off course? My other half has a thing for buying biscuits & Pringles so he hides then away from me because at some point I will hunt then down given a chance.
You've done so well with your weight loss, so overall you are succeeding. :)
Clothes have always been a good motivation for me so maybe you could get something nice that you want to fit into & use that as a reminder of how far you have come so far
 
I ate a handful of salted nuts the other day without thinking as my husband was eating them and I was so cross with myself! I felt so bad I went straight out for a walk and downed water as I’m like you if I have one thing off track I spiral....similar to how you describe yourself with carbs! Thank goodness I pulled it back but I hate slip ups!
 
Easter weekend was a bit messy for me, I had 3 off plan nights including wine and a Chinese take out. I had only planned on 2 nights off plan so the feelings of blowing it are surfacing again. This is always such a dangerous time for me and generally leads to a binging cycle so I want to try work through it.


First to focus on the positives, I weighed 16st 8lbs on Fri April 2nd. It was exactly 13 weeks ago on Fri Jan 1st that I started this plan and in those 13 weeks I have:

  • Lost 26lbs or 10% of my starting weight this cycle
  • Reduced my BMI from 39.2 to 35.3
  • Exercised 8 times each month (all 15 minute cycles except for three 3km walks)

It’s been a really productive, stable 13 weeks and I’m not exhausted from over exercising. (Obviously I need to do more exercise but circumstances aren’t allowing that right now).


Now why am I struggling:

  • I feel I have enough of food restriction.
  • I feel I’m sick of eating the same old things.
  • I feel like I want a serious binge.
  • I got my full bloods done on Mar 25th and the results are good including my blood sugar being normal so I feel I have more time before I ‘have to’ change.
  • I feel I’ve been doing this for 3 months and I’m sick of it.
  • I’ve started buying bagels - I’m always in trouble when I buy bagels, they’re an immense trigger food for me.
  • I feel the weather is getting better and I want to enjoy the Summer.

I need to think about how I’m going to stay focused.
 
Halley said:
Easter weekend was a bit messy for me, I had 3 off plan nights including wine and a Chinese take out. I had only planned on 2 nights off plan so the feelings of blowing it are surfacing again. This is always such a dangerous time for me and generally leads to a binging cycle so I want to try work through it.


First to focus on the positives, I weighed 16st 8lbs on Fri April 2nd. It was exactly 13 weeks ago on Fri Jan 1st that I started this plan and in those 13 weeks I have:

  • Lost 26lbs or 10% of my starting weight this cycle
  • Reduced my BMI from 39.2 to 35.3
  • Exercised 8 times each month (all 15 minute cycles except for three 3km walks)

It’s been a really productive, stable 13 weeks and I’m not exhausted from over exercising. (Obviously I need to do more exercise but circumstances aren’t allowing that right now).


Now why am I struggling:

  • I feel I have enough of food restriction.
  • I feel I’m sick of eating the same old things.
  • I feel like I want a serious binge.
  • I got my full bloods done on Mar 25th and the results are good including my blood sugar being normal so I feel I have more time before I ‘have to’ change.
  • I feel I’ve been doing this for 3 months and I’m sick of it.
  • I’ve started buying bagels - I’m always in trouble when I buy bagels, they’re an immense trigger food for me.
  • I feel the weather is getting better and I want to enjoy the Summer.

I need to think about how I’m going to stay focused.
Click to expand...
It is so hard to stay focused when you see nearing goal weight. Go for a long walk by yourself and decide what you want to do maybe. Let the anger and emotions go then focus on what you really want. This road gets tough and Easter/Christmas/occasions test us. What does enjoying the summer look like? Wearing a nice dress or eating nice food? Sending you good thoughts xx
 
Congratulations on your progress. Thank you for sharing how you are feeling, Halley. Those feelings really chime with me. Not feeling them at the moment - but have many times in the past.

I was wondering about what you want at goal. Why is it worth continuing? What do you feel like, experience, do, wear? How is it different from now?
 
SkinnyStarbucksSophia said:
It is so hard to stay focused when you see nearing goal weight. Go for a long walk by yourself and decide what you want to do maybe. Let the anger and emotions go then focus on what you really want. This road gets tough and Easter/Christmas/occasions test us. What does enjoying the summer look like? Wearing a nice dress or eating nice food? Sending you good thoughts xx
Click to expand...

AliGal said:
Congratulations on your progress. Thank you for sharing how you are feeling, Halley. Those feelings really chime with me. Not feeling them at the moment - but have many times in the past.

I was wondering about what you want at goal. Why is it worth continuing? What do you feel like, experience, do, wear? How is it different from now?
Click to expand...
Hi SkinnyStarbucksSophia and Ali,

Thank you both so much for your responses, I really want to be 14st as my life is so much easier and happier at that weight. I feel fit and healthy and my energy levels are great. I have some beautiful clothes that fit me very well at 14st and I always feel brilliant wearing them. I also feel my health is in less danger and I worry a lot less about the health problems that are coming at me.

Unfortunately right now I want both the nice clothes and nice food for Summer! I know I can’t have both but when my motivation is low the ‘just one more’ of addiction kicks in. ‘Just one more night off plan and then I’ll start tomorrow’. Of course it’s never just one night and tomorrow never comes.

I have stayed on plan since Monday morning and I’m just taking it one block at a time (when I’m struggling I break the day into 3 blocks, wake up time until 12pm, 12pm until 6pm and 6pm until bedtime). I got in a lovely walk this morning and I’m going to try not think too much about anything for the next few days. My spouse is on holidays from work this week so I’m really tempted to go off plan but I’ll just go block by block and stay on until I weigh on Friday morning.
 
Halley said:
Hi SkinnyStarbucksSophia and Ali,

Thank you both so much for your responses, I really want to be 14st as my life is so much easier and happier at that weight. I feel fit and healthy and my energy levels are great. I have some beautiful clothes that fit me very well at 14st and I always feel brilliant wearing them. I also feel my health is in less danger and I worry a lot less about the health problems that are coming at me.

Unfortunately right now I want both the nice clothes and nice food for Summer! I know I can’t have both but when my motivation is low the ‘just one more’ of addiction kicks in. ‘Just one more night off plan and then I’ll start tomorrow’. Of course it’s never just one night and tomorrow never comes.

I have stayed on plan since Monday morning and I’m just taking it one block at a time (when I’m struggling I break the day into 3 blocks, wake up time until 12pm, 12pm until 6pm and 6pm until bedtime). I got in a lovely walk this morning and I’m going to try not think too much about anything for the next few days. My spouse is on holidays from work this week so I’m really tempted to go off plan but I’ll just go block by block and stay on until I weigh on Friday morning.
Click to expand...
That’s such a good idea. Hour by hour is how I try and get through it. Some days, weeks and months are easier than others. It’s all our own personal journeys. Sometimes I weigh daily, other weekly. You need to do what’s best for your overall health and heart xx
 
You seem like you're doing well!! We are pretty much the same age (I'm 45 next month).
 
Hi Work4Change,

Yes, we’re both heading for our mid forties! It goes fast doesn’t it 😮
 
Hi all,


I’m still going strong most of the time and am now 16st 4lbs, I was just reading about willpower and how it can’t be relied on for long term weight loss. Apparently I must build new habits to counteract the bad habits I have and then rely on these new habits to get me through.


I want to think about the good habits I’ve built up over the last few years:


I eat nothing that is low fat apart from mayonnaise and that’s only because I really dislike how dense full fat mayonnaise is. I eat full fat butter, oatmilk and cheese, I eat white bread and I have normal sugar in my coffee. I think that eating low fat for years actually contributed to my problems as I was still taking in most of the calories but not getting the taste or nutrition.


I log every single thing I eat even when I’m binging. This has given me huge insight into how my body works and it’s a lot easier to justify off plan nights, look forward to them and not have them shoot me off plan permanently.


Fasting from 6pm until 8am has been a revelation for me. The black and white cut off really suits me and to be honest it was heartbreaking only having a small tiny snack at night and not eating anything is way, way easier.


Having a fried egg on toast every morning keeps me satisfied until lunch - it’s so much better than any other breakfast I’ve ever had.


I continue to count WW Smartpoints every day and my free foods are eggs, chicken, turkey and salmon. All fruits and all vegetables except potatoes are free too. I include free foods in all my meals but I make sure to not overeat them.
 
Great updates - lovely to know you have lovely clothes to wear in the 14s. I know I felt really good in the 14s. See you there!!
 
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