its official, iv lost it, had two really bad weeks, firstly half term........i work all day and evening weekends so i make sure in kids school hollidays i do everything i can, i took them out every day, for the whole day, and ate crap, and plenty of it, then it was my twin daughters 4th birthday, did them a party and ate loads of crap again, then it was works do at an all u can eat chinese buffet place, ate a bit drank a lot (it was free.....) then yesterday had to do a 12 hour shift at work on training (im a chef) we have a new menu so had to cook the new menu and eat it, new painkillers make me so drowsy and sleepy got no motivation at all, its week before payday so am skint which means cheap and cheerfull food which is unfortunately the worst for us, am avoiding meetings and weigh ins, cos i feel so bad, such a failure, a big fat mess
its killing me cos i know i can do this, i just dont want to, i want to one of those people who can eat what they like and not put on weight, iv just lost it, need to get my head in gear, not really got anyone i can talk to about it in my non cyber life thats why im so glad iv found this, found you all, cos i know u understand, and wont judge, im going to give myself a real push this week and see how i go, if i still cant get it back im going to try something different, i refuse to give up on myself, just needed this rant.