Im so sad and its my fault

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by melarnz, 20 September 2010 Social URL.

  1. melarnz

    melarnz Silver Member

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    its a long story so i will try to keep it brief...

    i work for a finance company that used to lend money. we have ceased lending but are still collecting.

    my best friend has a loan with my company and is being charged high interest.

    as she is saving every penny she has to be able to come to my wedding in antigua, i thought i would help her out by getting a 0% credit card for her and transfer the balance.

    because i work for the company and used my credit card to pay off the loan, i am now at risk of losing my job and/or my bonus.

    the thing is, that becauae the company is closing down, i will be getting made redundant shortly and have been there 8 yrs. this means i will lose my redundancy, and at least 5k worth of bonus.

    the worst thing is that i didnt tell hubby i paid off my friends loan because i knew he wouldnt approve. i now have to tell him that i have thrown away our safey net (the money from the redundancy and bonus was being saved to help us get by until i found a new job)

    i now feel like i have let my whole family down and it all came from a good place....

    i dont know what to do - i guess the first thing i should do is come clean to hubby.
     
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  3. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Oh Mel, that is a horrible position to be in. I don;t know what to say, but just wanted to send you a hug. I hope it all works out - is there not ANY way the company can resolve this without forsaking your cash and bonus. That seems very unfair after 8 years of servitude. :(
     
  4. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    I still cannot see what you did that was wrong.....if it was not you, it well could have been someone else taht would have done the same thing and paid off your friends loan. After all, isn;t that the main thing they want - is to have their loans paid back rather than defaulting?

    Might be worth taking some advice from the Citizens advice bureau.
     
  5. st.angelo

    st.angelo Full Member

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    I'm sorry to hear that by your helping your friend you are now in trouble. :(

    How was this uncovered may I ask?

    This is a conflict of interest between you and your employer but you may be able to say that your friend gave you something and instead of you giving her the money, you paid off her loan? oK I'm not suggesting that you make a fraudulent receipt or anything, I'm suggesting that this is something you could say to your bosses at work.

    I do think it's best to be honest with your husband and even if he is angry he will calm down and things will be ok. x

    Are you a member of a union? Get advice from them.

    Mel, this is not the end of the world even though you may be feeling it is. x

    O
     
  6. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    surely if you have a credit card you can use it to pay for whatever you want with it? I'm not sure of the rules of working within financial companys but like BL, I can't see that you've done anything against company policy. Has someone said your job is at risk because of it (apart from the redundancy?)
    I hope you can get it all sorted out. Try not to be too down on yourself about it. All you were doing is helping out a friend as far as I can see xx
     
  7. st.angelo

    st.angelo Full Member

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    I don't think I can put links on here but if you google Community Legal Advice you can get all sorts of help there. It is free and government funded.
     
  8. melarnz

    melarnz Silver Member

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    Thanks for support.

    I told hubby (through tears and gasps) and I think he was grateful it was anything more serious because of the state I got myself in! He was excellent, his reaction was - money is money, it's not the end of the world I'm just worried about you.

    My direct line manager is also in trouble because of this as he agreed it. It looks like someone in our branch whistleblew. The company director and hr have said that they feel an informal slap on the wrist is okay and I won't lose my bonus, however it is a breech of company policy so they need to make sure it is not going to send a message saying that its okay to break policy by paying off your mates accounts.

    Tbh I can't see people queueing around the block to do it, but hey hum.

    I have to wait a week now to find out if it's going to bf taken any further. Although I do have my defense ready!! If they discipline me for breaking a company rule then I am going to suggest they will have to do the same fir everybody that breaks every compnay rule !
     
  9. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    You are both so right - it is only money

    Glad you have told him though.

    Irene xx
     
    Last edited: 20 September 2010
  10. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    hi there
    hopefully it will be OK - still a stressful situation tho, esp when you were doing it to be nice.
    fingers crossed for you hun
    daisy x
     
  11. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Relieved for you Mel. I had a similar situation about 2 years ago - I realllllly made some financial mistakes, and got myself into a lot of trouble.

    I tried my best to fix it without my hubby finding out - but stupid me left a transfer notice out on HIS desk, from money my family back home lent me to get out from under it. DOH!!!

    Like you, I became hysterical - I was so sincerely sorry, and beside myself with guilt, etc., that my husband was completelyunderstanding about it.

    It is always best to come clean. My conscious intention was to try and fix it without getting caugth, but I obviously could not do it that way and subconsciously left the evidence right under his nose!! lol

    It is great to have understanding husbands. Feel lucky. I know I did.

    Hope it all works out at work too.

    xx
     
  12. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Oh Mel,
    Sorry for your distress. I think so many of us have had some great financial disaster at least once. it always seems tp be the worst possible scenario.
    Usually our partners know something is up and are relieved to find it's "only money".
     
  13. st.angelo

    st.angelo Full Member

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    So glad to come back to your thread and read that things aren't so bad after all, especially with your husband. x

    Seeing as how your line manager agreed it then the company won't sack you in my opinion, and I do expect that you will get a written warning and hopefully that will be the end of it. x
     
  14. sorcha

    sorcha Likes to change diets...

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    What an awful predicament. Glad you have told hubby and glad also that in your last post you 'sounded' positive.

    Hope the diet is going ok?These are the moments in life that can really test our willpower. Sending hugs to you((((hugs)))).

    Have a good day:)
     
  15. tracyd

    tracyd "I WILL DO THIS"

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    oh mel you poor thing, at times we cant do right for doing wrong eh? hope it all gets sorted and your ok at the end of it x
     
  16. st.angelo

    st.angelo Full Member

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    Hi Melarnz, Hope you feeling better about it all today. x
     
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