Just what is wrong with me?? :-(

Discussion in 'Strugglers and Restarters' started by LaurelAmy, 19 February 2011 Social URL.

  1. LaurelAmy

    LaurelAmy Full Member

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    Hi Everyone, Well, From my topic title im sure you have all guessed I am struggling.

    I have a huge problem with dieting, the problem being I love to eat, but its seriously harming me

    I eat when I'm not even hungry, I just go to the kitchen and get something and even if I sit and think to myself what the hell are you doing? your not even hungry, I still happily eat whatever I have gotten and then its afterward I feel guilty.

    I eat in secret, especially when I'm home alone with my little boy and whats even sadder is when I go into the kitchen I wont put the light on in case the neighbors see me getting something to eat AGAIN, I try to hide in my own home :cry:

    I will eat almost anything, especially convenience foods like chocolate, crisps, pizza, chips, takeaways, burgers, cereal ... And I eat them in massive amounts

    I'm disgusted with myself and it often drags me down, all my partner says is well its you that cant stick to a diet so don't complain that your fat.

    I dont know whats wrong with me.... why cant I stick to a diet :cry::cry::cry::cry:

    I need help, support... I dont even have any friends to talk to. :sigh:
     
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  3. valerie11

    valerie11 Gold Member

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    hi hun a lot of us on here have been the same i would buy £5 to £10 of chocolate a time i would sit on the loo and eat it :eek: i used to be soooo annoyed with myself then something clicked in my head i have had so many years of being overweight, i wouldn't go to parties etc that i was invited too cause i was too ashamed of my size would wear black all the time even in summer trying to kid myself i looked slimmer, i love going to the beach which is about 5 mins from where i live but i always have to wear long shorts to cover myself up and i don't want to have to do that anymore, i want to be able to go to beach in a swimsuit i want to go to the parties etc that i have been invited to i want to go in a normal shop and pick a 14 off the rail and know it's going to fit i could go on and on, only u can lose the weight but u have to be in the right frame of mind follow a sensible eating plan (i love s/w) there is no need to go hungry on it which would probably suit u, i make sure i have 3 meals a day and have fruit or mullerlight yogs in between then there are syns that i use for chocolate etc, perhaps with a bit of support from us u will be able to get started. take a look at some of the diaries on here, good luck x
     
  4. sundodger

    sundodger Full Member

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    I have been struggling to lose weight for the last year and have probably always been overweight. For the last year I have been watching what I eat, taking regular exercise and still only managed to get rid of about 2lbs over this time.

    When I was weighed a fortnight ago and had lost 5lbs there was a feeling of relief and in turn determination to lose more, when I weighed in on Friday I have now lost about 18lbs and I'm keen to lose more.

    Use this forum for support and take advise from the many people on here, look through the different sections and take advice on the best form of dieting for you - maybe one of the clubs so you can talk face to face with people on the same position as you.

    At some point, everyone on here loved to eat for no other reason than they could - nothing to feel guilty of disgusted about on that, it is a perfectly natural thing. The fact you have recognised that you do it is a step forward and whether its with the help from the people on here or with medical advice you can now make the next step to addressing this and join the ranks of the losers shopping for some nice new clothes!
     
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  5. MaisieMoodle

    MaisieMoodle Full Member

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    I can totally relate to a lot of what you're saying. I'm a binger too, I have been known to eat chocolate/crisps/biscuits etc until I literally feel sick. Did I enjoy it? God no, I would always be disgusted with myself when I'd finished but that didn't stop me at the time.......

    Hope I'm not stating the obvious here, but the key to losing the weight is really simple....... you have to want it more than you want that food. Your head needs to be in the right place for it, to really really want it, more than anything else. This forum is brilliant, in that you'll get tonnes of support, help and advice but only you can do it :)

    Ask yourself - are you happy right now? If you continue to eat like that will it make you happy? Would losing weight make you happier? :)

    I hope I've helped a little and haven't sounded patronising, that wasn't my intention at all xxx
     
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  6. Niki3

    Niki3 Full Member

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    Again like the others that have replied ibe been there too.
    I was stuck at home with 2 young children no friends so food was my friend!
    I had to change so one day I plucked up the courage to go to a mums n tots group and there I met some new friends.
    We all started talking and they too were struggling with their weight so we decided to go to a slimming class and well I lost weight!!!
    Yes it is a big step but if you find other things to occupy your mind with then food isn't such a big issue.
    I've since had child num 3 so am again trying to lose a bit of baby belly again!!!!
    Don't be too hard on yourself look at the tips on this site and you will get there good luck xxxx
     
  7. Aline

    Aline Gold Member

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    LaurelAmy, I agree with everyone above;)

    Also, joining a group like Niki said would be great, so that you can have support in real life and here.
    You recognise the problem and you're looking for support, so you're on the right way;) Trust youself, you can make it.

    *hugs*
     
  8. LaurelAmy

    LaurelAmy Full Member

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    Right, well... this morning, I attended my first slimming world meeting... however due to having nothing substantial in the house until shopping on Saturday, I've had a rubbish day :-( Including a slice of chocolate cake which i feel immensely guilty about .. so much that i feel like i could throw it back up :-( x
     
  9. Niki3

    Niki3 Full Member

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    Well done on going to the meeting
    Give yourself some credit you started the ball rolling by going so what if you had that cake tomorrow is another day
    run up n down the stairs a few times if it makes you feel better but don't beat yourself up you have done a food thing today just take it easy on yourself and try again tomorrow.
    Chin up xxxxx
     
  10. Niki3

    Niki3 Full Member

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    **** sorry that should of said good thing I think maybe that was a weird slip up can't you tell what's on my mind lol x
     
  11. valerie11

    valerie11 Gold Member

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    well done for going to class its the first step :) just make the best choices u can until u go shopping on saturday if u feel like ur going to binge come on here and say how ur feeling by the time u've written it u might have got over it, good luck x
     
  12. Pomooky125

    Pomooky125 Silver Member

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    Eeek! your story is mine!

    I do exactly the same - I'm a single mum and in the evening I stuff my face. Why do I bother with low cal healthy meals all day and then blow it on some disgusting stodge? What Val says is true, you have to reach the point when your weight makes you feel more miserable than the biscuits make you happy - if you know what I mean! The thing is, when I get the urge to binge all rational thoughts go out of my head. All I can think of is what's in the cupboard. I can't drag myself away. It sounds crazy but it's like a physical fight. Well, tonight after just 2 binge free days, I gave in again! Pathetic! I am getting bigger and bigger and look like a middle-aged blob. :eek: I have been like this now for almost 3 years and gained almost a stone.

    I know I need to sort it out myself and hope that with Minimins it will be a little easier. You aren't alone!!! Cheers Pomooky XX
     
  13. Niki3

    Niki3 Full Member

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    Have you tried writing down your feelings
    I know sounds stupid but let me explain.
    When you get that binge feeling grab a bit of paper write down how you feeling bored fed up depressed then after your binge write them down again. I'm willing to bet they say very similar.
    Stick it on your fridge or snack cupboard then the next time you go to binge maybe you will see that it's not making you feel happy.
    When you do start losing write a comment about how you feel I bet they will be more positive than the binge feelings?
    Sending you best wishes and hugs xxx
     
  14. bugsbunny2000

    bugsbunny2000 Proud to be a LOSER :)

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    We're one and the same...

    Hi Laurel

    Your story has struck a chord with me. I have had a love/hate relationship with food since I was very very young (I am 21 now). I would stuff my face with sausage rolls, bread, fizzy drinks, chocolate, crisps... but not nice healthy food!! Only veg I would eat was carrots.

    Then when I was 13-14 years old I went on Atkins diet for 2 weeks and lost over a stone... the compliments were amazing but since then my weight has gone up and down like a yo yo, never really getting below 10.5st.

    I then came to University in 2008, and by the January of 2009 I topped the scales at 12.4stone. I was in tears, how could I have let this happen? Well being away from home, eating multipacks of crisps, chocolates, pizza, burgers, rice pudding along side sitting in my room during most of my frees and not having much a social life = bad diet and no exercise. I then decided from then I would get on SW. I had done it on and off previously, never losing alot, but this time I would HAVE to lose weight wouldn't i? I also started to walk the 20mins to the uni busstop and back (instead of catching a 2nd bus) and I made friends, went out more, ditched having sweets in my room! I then stayed reasonably healthy... but when I moved into a flat during my 2nd year my old habits came back. My housemate would want to order Dominos pizza... so we did. My housemate would want to get ice cream, cakes, chocolates... so we did. and my weight increased. Then over the summer while I was working alot I did SW again to ensure I would lose weight before my 20th bday (in oct) and i did. I got down to about 10.7

    But again weight has creeped back on, and that is why I am here. While I wouldn't really call myself fat... my wii does! lol and that's enough for me to change! I just want to feel comfortable. I want to wear something or look back at photos and think ''i looked beautiful there!" but I realise I can only get to that point in my life by changing my thought process.

    Instead of "oh just one chocolate won't kill" I'll think "if i don't have that chocolate then look how strong I am!!" I stil struggle. I posted a few days ago about how i had ''lost my mojo'' because i took 2 weeks off from SW, gained a pound (which was good considering i stuffed my face on alcohol, pastries and chocolate) but i just felt like i had hit a wall. What was this all for? And i realise it's for me. It's for my health. For my vanity. For my future. I'm starting a PGCE in September at a new uni... and i want to have a part of my life where I wasn't overweight!!!

    I don't know if me babbling on about my problems helps at all, I guess I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I still crave chocolate etc, and I hate that my friends eat and drink what they want and even though they aren't skinny they don't seem to care as much as i do. But then i remember that I'm not them. I do care. and it is that feeling that will get me through life with a skinny waist and bundles of energy :)

    Best of luck to you
    love Danni
    xxxxx:)
     
  15. cactus

    cactus Gold Member

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    hi laurel - i am very similar to you - i have the same love/hate relationship with food

    the best thing is probably to eat good tasty but healthy food all week - cooked ham, grilled chicken etc... and have a 'treat' once a week
     
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