Fat2go, of course it is your business! Please do join in with anything we talk about on here. The more discussion we have the more likely we are to understand what is going on in our heads. I would very much like to hear what you have to say. So jump in and know that you are very welcome, as is anyone else who may be lurking and reading this thread.
Firstly - well done on the 0.5lb this week - as I said, keep it up!! (or down as the case may be)
Yes, as I said, I found your whole thread very interesting. Picking the bones out of it (as they say) there were a few things that jumped out of me as I read. You say in your very first post "I know it's going to work" < I feel you must keep repeating this to yourself, over and over and over. Do not lose any of the belief you were feeling when you wrote that post.
Post 16 is interesting where you seem to be making excuses before you've even gotten to your usual group - re the scales being calibrated differently etc. However, I don't see it as getting your excuses in early but more that you find it hard to believe you've done so well and you're succeeding. You know the old thought..'This is me, this is LJ...I don't do well when I'm trying these things, it's only other people who do that well.' Then move on to post 36 where you're rightfully chuffed at losing 2.5lbs - this, interestingly, after being weighed at your usual group where the scales will be more accurate...So why not say 'Oh, I was wrong before, the scales are right and I have done even better than I thought'. ... LJ, when you do fantastic things, you are allowed to be praised because you do deserve it!!
Post 26 where you say "I couldn't be bothered to make dinner." ..I thing you should see that as a warning sign. Those are the days where you have to push through that and force yourself to make dinner or to eat properly. Why? Because there will be other days where that same feeling will be on the back of a crap day (in general) and you'll fall off the wagon and order take-away or similar.
Post 45 and the Sabotage demons...I know where you're coming from here but I really thing you should focus on those feelings and get to the bottom of them before the demons come out to get you. Must have a safety valve in place LG because those demons are way too powerful for you if you're not fully prepared for them.
Post 55 - The last paragraph/sentence ... Again, that's a warning sign right there...You have to be stronger than those who have no understanding of how you feel. This is about you LG- not even your closest friends should influence any sort of sabotage. It's early days and I think you need to be firmer and say no. There's temptation at every turn some days but you can resist...I believe you're strong enough.
Post 67 says a great deal, or at least one sentence does..."I added the extra ingredient otherwise it'd just be wasted." Hmmm, that says a lot to me too and I can relate to it. How many times have I cleared a plate, not because I was hungry but because it would be a waste to throw it away. It's not necessary how healthy any particular ingredient is but it's the principle - make sense?
Post 75..."Driven to snacking" ...You almost say this as a throw away line but I'm interested in what you mean...Driven by what and why and to snack on what?
Please, please don't think any of the above is a personal attack, it's not at all. I recognise a lot of what you say actually- I've said it myself before now! You're very obviously a wonderful person who has a very giving nature but perhaps lacks a little bit of self-belief there somewhere? You're wonderful and you deserve to be happy and I believe you're made of the right stuff to, not only go all the way, but to drag many people with you. You have the power to inspire others LG, you're that sort of character. So carry on regardless, keep doing what you've done so far and if and when you need an olive branch then I, as well as others, are here to give you said branch.
