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I feel at my absolute lowest.
For as long as I remember I have been obese. And now at almost 26 stone, I feel like I am trapped and there is no emergency exit.
I’m a bubbly girl, I’m the class clown, and I’m the girl who mentions her weight before others so that I can build my barriers. Sometimes they will express sympathy; sometimes they will laugh with me, hurting me with every chuckle. “You’ve got such a pretty face” they’ll say, “but you are so fat” they are thinking.
Steadily over the years I have withdrawn into my protective bubble wrap. I’ve been body conscious for as long as I can remember, but now any shred of self confidence I used to have has dissolved. I will avoid social occasions- I’ll make excuses “I don’t feel well” or “I’m short of money”. When really, I’m desperate to go out, to have fun, to be free, but the grip of obesity gets the better of me. I won’t walk anywhere. People mistake this for be being lazy, when in actual fact I can’t bear to be on show in public, to have the fear of people judging me and looking at me in disgust.
I first met my boyfriend six years ago. He made me feel special. Instead of being put off by my weight he was attracted to it. He gradually made me feel sexy, I felt confident with him and let go of my inabitions.He changed my belief of ‘if you can’t love yourself, no one else will love you’. Because he loved me, I started to love myself. But as the years have gone on, the compliments have stopped and my self esteem has plummeted. I won’t do certain things as a couple because of my size. I feel this hampers our spark and has made him less enthused. I feel like I’m holding him back.

I never have any energy. I’m always tired and wake up feeling like I’m constantly hung-over (even though I’ve not been drinking. I have constant pains in my chest and all over my body, but I haven’t been to the doctors in years. I’m so ashamed of what I have become.
I’ve tried numerous diets over the years and failed at all of them. My intentions are always good, but I never succeed. I kid myself every time that it will work and I will be free but the results are always the same.
I feel like I have nowhere to turn. People say they understand, but they don’t. Unless you are obese you never will.
I need to feel that it doesn’t have to be like this. That things can change, but I really don’t see how.
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Hiya i'm new here! and this is my first post!
I would first off like to say that I am so sorry you feel so low :( I know the feeling and it aint nice. (big hugs)
I also have been obese for around 10 years now, the word still goes through me. I know the feeling of being trapped and i know that there is an emergency exit, because you have made the first step in saying how you feel. I bet you are a very pretty girl and have a fantastic personality just like your friends say because my friends say the same about me. I feel the same as you do and I always rip into myself before anyone else do to :(. But now is the time to start believeing in yourself and us lot on here can do this for our selfs, building our self confidence that we deserve to have.
I want to feel happy in my skin again and just be a size 16 thats it!!!
And i dont want to be skinny, I just want to be able to feel alive again.
Do not be ashamed of yourself ok! Stand tall! and start TODAY over again, take it day by day because you will do it.
I think it's time you relaxed and breathed then take action! I bet you will defo start to feel sexy again, the confidence you once had with him will come back!!! Like yourself, I never have any energy either, but today I did I cleaned like I had OCD and sorted out some clothes which have been driving me mad for weeks. I thought to myself... oh I will sort a few and then before I knew it I done the lot! I sat and thought "oh my gosh where did that energy come from" lol! .

Now, listen how about we team up to courage each other because i defo need a bit of help!!! I am doing the SW diet and I have tried a few and now I feel this is it i'm doing it this time!!! for my 2 kids and for my BF who aint fussed about me losing weight... prob scared i'll do a runner lol!!! x
How lovely are you!I feel like my last post was really dramatic and ott,I just needed to get it out.my mood fluctuates all the time,sometimes I'll feel ok and kid myself that I'm happy,other times I'll reach the despair like I did earlier!
Sounds like you are off to a good start,how ru finding slimming world?
Would really like to buddy up and encourage eachother :) it's nice talking to people who Can empathise rather than just sympathise.x
Ahh you have made me smile now!!!

It's official... we are a TEAM!!! ha ha

Slimmimg world 2nd time around really, I am doing the extra easy plan! so much easier once you get to grips with what the free foods are!
I'm a big lover of Pasta etc and you can eat loads of differnt types of sauces to go with it and most and syn free... so much you can eat mind I am enjoying it! I am made all sorts! are you doing a particular diet at all?

I was sitting at home a week ago last wednesday and thought... thats it i'm doing this and before i knew it was sitting in a class lol with lots of other people i toke my daughter for company as she loves hearing all about food lol (she is 9 and has a lush figure) I watch whats she eats because i think she will ballon out like me lol! x
hi to the 2 of u :wavey: welcome to minimins, i am following s/w and have lost a couple of stone so far i have also tried every diet imaginable only to put it back on but i used to "do" any quick fix diet that i could lay my hands on i would get fed up and hungry so gave up putting the weight back on that i had managed to lose plus a few pound more, at my heaviest i was almost 17 stone i was embarrased to go out and made up stupid excuses so i didn't have to go to functions i got very low and depressed it was a vicious circle in the end i realised i was the only one that could do something about it :rolleyes: it has taken me about 8 years to get to this weight ( i took the scenic route lol) i do kick myself sometimes i could have been here a lot sooner if i had stuck to it. i find s/w is such a good plan there is no need to go hungry (as is weight watchers but i ended up using my points on junk food so it wasn't as healthy as it could have been :eek:) i think it's great if the 2 of u can support each other, have a look through the diaries there are so many members that have lost an awful lot of weight if u really want it badly enough u can do it too x good luck i will pop back in and see how ur doing xx
Hey Girls... check us out alredy! we have support, i like being a big girl its me but being a size 22 has got me down because my boobs are huge and im only 5'3 tall, I look silly slim because my boobs are to big, I never lose off them ever! x
Thank you for the lovely messages will be great to support eachother.
I too have tried all diets imaginable.the only diet I lost a noticeable amount of weight on was lipotrim which was pretty hardcore but I lost almost 6 stone in four months.however,I soon went back to my old habits and but it all back on plus another stone.I feel like I succeed for a period then I just ruin it.
My friends are really supportive but they are all slim and fabulous and just don't understand.I know I have myself to blame for getting this overweight but it's hard.I was it was as easy to loose the weight as it is putting it on!x
Hi and a warm welcome! You WILL do it this time, there's so much support here;)
Hi if you go see your doctor and express your concerns and get a full blood test and other check ups done.. As those pains your talking about sound serious!

then perhaps ask for xenical tablets they are a fat blocker, help remove upto 30%of the fat you eat. (look up on Internet) with xenical you need to eat a low fat diet.. But can take them along side any other diet program.. As long as you stick to the low fat plan of 15g per meal and under 5g per 100g so that's 45g fat per day.

I am using an iPhone app my fitness pal which is free, to record what I eat every day.. It will also work out what your cals per day should be.. I like it Soo much as it seems to have most or all of the foods that you buy in the supermarkets

Good luck, change your life style and you will succeed! Good luck :)

I am trying to loose 5 stone... Almost end of 1st mth and lost 3.4lbs. Took me 2 weeks to get my head in the right place :)
You will do it!!
Hi and :welcome:

You have made the first step and that is the most important thing. I was and still am in the same boat as you, making up excuses why not to do things or go some where. I was nearly 19 stone at my heaviest back in June and for the last year i would say to myself i must go on a diet but i didn't really mean it and wouldn't do anything about it. This time its different as i'm doing it for me.

I have some great friends and they are very supportive but they don't know whats its like to be obese. I have found the support on this site great and the success stories are so inspirational. Its great being able to talk to other people who are in the same position and if your having a bad day they know exactly whats its like.

I agree with Mis-behave that you should visit your doctor and get checked out. I wish you all the luck with your weight loss and remember take one day at a time.
GOOD AFTERNOON!!! i'm feeling like my heads gone a bit today as i have eaten a huge meal... but i know on this diet SW it's OK because its mostly free food. I have been doing it now nearly 2 weeks and people are noticing the change!

So my little fellow dieter's we are going to get a little excercise today even if it's walking up the stairs and then back down, and up again!!! just to get to bed tonight! it's little bit at a time. This evening i am going for a 20 minute walk around a lake, with my fab looking skinny friend... LOL! and in fact i'm looking forward to just catching up on the goss! so instead of doing it over coffee and biscuits or wine and takeaway we will do it walking LOL!!!

"ChunkyFlossy & Team mini's" we will do this!

I had tried WW lost 2 stone in 2 months (put back on slowely but, then went huge!)

I tried xenical and lost over a stone but could'nt cope with the fatty pooo LOL... and i think that started IBS off :( (I then went even bigger once off them again!)

Tried all sorts of diets but never last longer than 2 weeks because i got board of not being able to eat nice stuff! Liquid diets are good results but i put over a stone on after the last one, so by the time i stopped dieting and jumped back on the scale... i had put on around 6 stone.

After both my children i lost around a couple of stone but put back on bigger every time as the years go by!

I tried SW last march in 2010 and i could not get my head around it at all, i did not even lose much (i lasted about 5 weeks tops!)

Then two weeks ago I just went for it!!! walked in and joined on my own, was nice to see all sorts of sizes in there! I felt good So if I can do it so can you girls xx