Ive noticed that other people tend to use their diary to express their feelings so thought I could do this as well instead of holding it in it might help me as I don't always have others to speak to. I am due to have counciling for depression and paranoria (cant spell) I spend more time in the doctors than at home lol! im also due to have pysio for my back as its so tense and sore due to stress apparently. I swap from one diet to the next as I bore very easily. we own a construction company of which i'm the administrator and accountant for. I also have my own cleaning business of which im cutting down on after easter so as to spend more time in our office doing paperwork. Sorry if ant of this seem extreme it just feels good to write it down.
It doesn't seem extreme at all. It's perfectly natural and normal to have feelings, even depression and paranoia are normal aspects of the human psyche. There is nothing wrong with you - what I mean is, yes, I can hear you're going through some stuff, but you don't have to apologise for it :heartpump:

I've been somewhat where you are and I wanted to say...it does get better and getting help is good as is writing out how you feel. It's part of accepting and expressing it which lets you know its ok to have these kinds of feelings and lovingly work through them as you take care of yourself.
Well done for getting to this point, especially as you're taking care of your physical health and weight - that's fantastic! Welcome and look forward to seeing you around.
:queen::queen:
PS when you see people who you think are 'normal' (i.e. don't have some of the stuff that you're working through), remember that...
a. a lot of them aren't 'normal' when you get close up to them!! many more people than you'd think go through this stuff
and
b. you're really strong because you're managing to cope and work through some of the stuff that they've never had to / never will have to deal with!! you can be proud and hold your head high! so give yourself credit for living life to the best you can when you look at what you're going through - that takes real courage and strength of character!! well done you!!!!!
