New here, at a complete crossroads!


New Member
Hi everyone.

I’m at a complete crossroads with myself and I don’t know what to do. Weight has always been a topic of conversation in my family. It’s always something people mention and my mu has a habit of telling me how much weight people have gained or how well they’ve done on a diet.

We went to SW together a year or so ago, I lost 1.5stone and she got to her target of 2. She then stopped going with me.

I’ve been with my OH for 10 years and gained 4 stone in that time. He’s a measly 9.5 stone at 6ft so eats like a horse.

Ive started back at the gym and I’m 1 stone down and feeling better but I’m fed up of SW. I work long hours and my OHs cooking skills are a little to be desired so I end up making the same easy meals each week and he gets fed up. I find going out hard, which we do a lot and I find it hard to prep lunches for work.

I’ve just been authorised for BED therapy via my health insurance at work. But at the same time I’m wondering if I start 1:1. I know they don’t approve of dieting when doing therapy but I’m so unhappy as I am now. But then I also know I shouldn’t really gym on 1:1 which I do 2-3 times a week.

I don’t have any friends to speak to as they are all thin, my OH doesn’t understand why I can’t just stick to a diet. He gave up smoking cold turkey and thinks it’s the same. And well my mum.... I don’t see the point as she just starved herself to get to target.

Sorry it’s long. There is a lot going on in my head.
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S: 145.1kg C: 137.3kg G: 94kg Loss: 7.8kg(5.38%)
That's alright, I don't have really anyone to talk to, or want to talk to, either, so understand...

Firstly, what's BED therapy? I tried to google it, but it wasn't helpful lol. ' I know they don’t approve of dieting when doing therapy... ' do they not? Not heard that one. they might be able to help with mindset. :)

'my OHs cooking skills are a little to be desired so I end up making the same easy meals each week and he gets fed up.' Well, if you do all the cooking and put in all the time and effort, he's not in a position to complain. It's his home too, you both work. If you do 1:1, then he'll have to look after himself, if he *really* wants to be supportive.

'But then I also know I shouldn’t really gym on 1:1 which I do 2-3 times a week.' If you *already* gym, you shouldn't have too much of a problem, you might have to dial back the intensity until you're keto adapted, about 3 weeks. What they don't really want is for someone on a new-found health kick having just started a VLCD, to then suddenly go out and go nuts in a gym as well, after not having seen one for decades. That way problems lie...

And your mum needs a better hobby than judging other people's appearances.

Do what works and helps for you. Time to start putting yourself first (your wellbeing is at stake) and asking other people (ok, your OH) for support, which might well involve telling him how.

Good luck :)


New Member
Thank you for your reply!

BED- Binge eating disorder. However I’ve since looked into my policy and all they have actually authorised is an appointment with a psychiatrist which wipes out most of my allowance anyway.

Im so indecisive that sometimes I just need someone to tell me what to do and my OH is a do what you want kinda person.

I think in reality I need to do something sustainable, and I need to just put myself first more. I’m going to try SW again but at a group, I’d like to find some friends as I moved to a near area and the only friend I’ve made has moved away to live with her new partner.


Full Member
S: 34st11lb C: 32st9lb G: 30st0lb BMI: 70.5 Loss: 2st2lb(6.16%)
My OH is a bit like that 'do what you wanna' he is helpful in the kitchen and supportive. But hes only here 4 of the 7 as hes a carer and does 24hr live in shifts. On the days hes home he'll cook SW meals that I've planned. We both work long hours and its pretty intense. On the days hes at work I either had a freezer meal (I'll explain further down) or I'll use my slow cooker/pressure king pro. I do my planning on a Friday night when I get home from work while I start the washing. I plan my evening meals daily. I also need to think about the days where he is/isnt home. I then write a list of ingredients and do online shopping for the saturday. I do online shopping because if I went to the actual shops I'd pick up crap I dont want/need. When it comes on saturday i sort it out into days I've planned. On a sunday on the days he isnt here, I'll cook and then freeze (freezer meals as above) or if it's a stew or similar... I prep all of the ingredients into what I call a 'dump bag' and freeze that. Then the night before I need it, lift it out to defrost then when I get up in the morning set my timer to go on at a certain time and plug in my slower cooker and away it goes. Saves so much time in the evenings.

Hope this helps a bit. And good luck.