New start, new me - FlicG’s Diary

Jo1989

Gold Member
S: 16st10.8lb C: 14st2lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 28 Loss: 2st8.8lb(15.67%)

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Sorry - i've not checked in for a bit, other than my post from last week, which was sort of accountability for me.

I mostly made good choices over the weekend, but despite taking shakes with me, I didn't actually have any. I started off much better than I ended, but for full accountability, below is what I ate:

- Two half slices of domino's pizza, salad and cured meat (Friday night dinner)
- Mackerel salad and sea trout with spinach and green beans followed by chocolate fondant (saturday lunch - didn't eat breakfast or dinner)
- fish and chips, 1/4 lemon meringue patisserie (sunday lunch. about 6 chips, no batter)
- 2 mini egg cookies, chocolate brownie, 4 biscoff biscuits, cacio e pepe pasta for dinner on Sunday.

So, as you can see, Sunday night, I descended back to full binge mode. One bit of sugar, and I forgot all good behaviour. I think because I felt like i'd already "blown it" I should just carry on...

Monday's weigh in miraculously still recorded a 1lb loss, so perhaps my week of good behaviour made up for this, but it was definitely a wake up for me.

This sort of happened when I did the CWP a few years ago, but I never truly got back on plan. Although the timing was different then, as I was nearing the end of my weight loss, not still in the middle. I already knew I am much better when focussed on the plan (hence my sticking with products, rather than adding evening meals) but I know that this is not long term sustainable...

When do I start getting back "to normal?" Well, is there a normal for me anymore? Normal for me looks like a relatively healthy diet, and then binges when nobody is looking, feeling sorry for myself which leads to more binges and we are back to where we began. Well, it's time to break that!
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
So, it's weigh day again. Thankfully, after my weekend descent into old behaviours, I got straight back on plan Monday. Tuesday night was a meal out with some friends (would have preferred this to be later in the week so I could have had more on plan days behind me) but the rest of the week went well. Two kids birthday parties at the weekend where I navigated beige buffets with cucumber stick collateral only, and I was rewarded on todays weigh in with a 5lb loss from last week, and a total loss of 3 stone over the last 10 weeks.

I now weigh my previous "heaviest weight which prompts me to start a diet" which is slightly laughable, depressing but also exciting, as I feel like now the hard work can really begin.

I'm below the lightest I got to between pregnancies, but like I said, pre-babies, this was always my measured "heaviest." I expect the next 3 1/2 stone to take much longer to come off, especially as I move on to a proper 800cal plan eating meals.

At present, I have probably 1 meal per week - dinner with friends, a family dinner, a party. This makes me sound like a way more of a social life than I do, haha, but I am actually seeing people now, rather than avoiding them like I have for the last year or so. This week, I have dinner with friends on Saturday night, so have a whole week of being on plan.

Mentally, I know I need to move to having a meal in the evening because it's not sustainable to live on shakes forever, but I'm putting it off because I don't know if this is opening the floodgates for binging again. Reading @Jo1989's diary, there were some really great points about starting each day as a new page but I don't know if I can actually manage that yet.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Time for some planning.

I have a weekend away for my MIL's birthday in 2 weeks. I would LOVE to loose 3.5/4lb this week as it would take me to my halfway point. This is potentially a stretch as i've lost the "easy" weight now, and i'm into the stubborn stuff! For her birthday weekend, I know there will be some family meals, but I'm hoping that I can stick with a shake or something for breakfast at least and then try and stick with low carb options throughout the days. Best laid plans and all, especially since weekends away (in the past and recently) have seen me eschew any plan for indulgence. I won't be drinking as I "gave up for lent" - ah, lent, providing me a great excuse to not add in those extras. I might have to have a celebratory glass of fizz, but I know my SIL is also not drinking, so we might get away with it if we stick together. I'm honestly not that bothered about drinking - two pregnancies, plus breastfeeding has meant I have a fairly low alcohol tolerance, and honestly, I don't ever feel like it's worth the calories (OK, maybe an espresso martini is...)

After the birthday weekend, I have a week before it's my eldest's fourth birthday, so my plan is to stick with 3 products until her birthday weekend and then move to having a meal (evening/lunch) at weekends, sticking with three products in the week.

Beginning of May is my husband's birthday, and then mine and our anniversary all scattered through the month. This is where I will add in an evening meal EVERY night. Why does this feel like a huge step? Because I never successfully managed to "move up the steps" on this diet before. Again, I think it was Jo1989 or anna who posted about maintenance, and what happens when you're not actively "loosing weight." Realistically, I need to be looking at how to manage my weight long term, and this might be step one. I've also been looking at the keto diet, but since my family have a history of heart problems, I feel like high fat might be one step too far. Intermittent fasting, 5:2, 4:3 are also options, but my research continues...

It's great to see a few more people kicking about here again - I find posting cathartic but also a helpful offload for me. I hope that some of the rambling resonates with some of you others too. We're in this together!
 

Jo1989

Gold Member
S: 16st10.8lb C: 14st2lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 28 Loss: 2st8.8lb(15.67%)
Ha the ‘acceptable weight’ buffer - totally recognise that!

Sounds like you’ve got lots of events to challenge you to change coming up. I imagine you’ll lose more or less the same on 810, but that’s if it’s really 810..

You’ve absolutely got to do what’s best for you, but I’m not convinced even the best planned low carb meals work in an 810 plan when you’re dealing with meals out, so wonder if you just forget the calories those days and just try and stay low carb, and stick to lowest level of plan the other days to balance it out? I guess it depends if you now feel you need a meal every day. Apologies if I’m overstepping, just reading and imagining me talking to myself and interpreting what I’d say in response!
 

Jo1989

Gold Member
S: 16st10.8lb C: 14st2lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 28 Loss: 2st8.8lb(15.67%)
I would also strongly recommend 5:2 - only thing that I’ve ever managed to maintain on (albeit for a limited period).
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Ha the ‘acceptable weight’ buffer - totally recognise that!

Sounds like you’ve got lots of events to challenge you to change coming up. I imagine you’ll lose more or less the same on 810, but that’s if it’s really 810..

You’ve absolutely got to do what’s best for you, but I’m not convinced even the best planned low carb meals work in an 810 plan when you’re dealing with meals out, so wonder if you just forget the calories those days and just try and stay low carb, and stick to lowest level of plan the other days to balance it out? I guess it depends if you now feel you need a meal every day. Apologies if I’m overstepping, just reading and imagining me talking to myself and interpreting what I’d say in response!
Thanks Jo. This is exactly what I’m trying to deal with at the moment, so not overstepping at all! I currently go out, don’t think about calories, just make a sensible choice for that meal (no carbs, steak and salad kind of thing) and then get straight back to it with three meal replacements. Where I’m coming from on the meal each day thing is trying to get myself back into something a bit more “normal” because I find sticking with the products fine, but from previous experience, it’s when I add in regular food again that I then start to struggle. I guess my thought is that if I can incorporate food back in to this plan, I’ll find it easier to transition from it once I’m at my target weight? At the moment, I feel anxious about that step because from reading my previous diary, that’s when things started to change (albeit, I was dealing with Christmas etc then!)
I think with busy April and May, I am better off sticking with just “celebration meals” and keeping on plan for the rest of the time, as that’ll be the easiest option I think?!
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Checking in! This week has been going pretty well, except for a birthday cake incident yesterday. I had a couple of mouthfuls, but straight back to plan (despite my brain trying to convince me to cheat and give up!) Pretty pleased with that, especially as I cooked OH one of my favourite dinners!
Onwards to the weekend. I’m going out to dinner with some girlfriends on Saturday night, but planning steak and salad and will be back on track Sunday morning. 👍
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Kept busy this weekend to try and avoid food - I’m missing those binge sessions - definitely not all food related. Trying to break habits and rituals too - I think I’m going to have to get rid of a specific bowl in our house, because of its association. Hope everyone has had a good weekend?
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Monday weigh in and another 3lb down. 3st 1lb to go to my target weight (and 2st 8lb to go to my new "upper limit." I've been doing this for 12 weeks now and i'm finding my rhythm definitely.

This weekend I was supposed to be away, but Covid struck on Thursday so I had a weekend at home with just my youngest, whilst my husband and eldest continued to go away. This would normally be a binge situation with me making the most of being alone and eating whatever I wanted. I am so pleased to say I stayed on plan all weekend! I had 200cal evening meals on Saturday and Sunday night which was really nice and despite those familiar urges popping up, I resisted!

Covid test is negative for me today and i'm feeling better which is a relief. My oldest daughter has a cough now so i'm at home rather than work today and out of normal routine which might a be a bit tricky.

I am planning to stick with 3 products for the medium term, but thinking of introducing evening meals at the weekends. I know that the recommendation was to do this for 12 weeks so that's sort of on my mind, but also things are going well, so I dont know if i'm ready for a change yet...lots to think about this week!
 

Jo1989

Gold Member
S: 16st10.8lb C: 14st2lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 28 Loss: 2st8.8lb(15.67%)
Monday weigh in and another 3lb down. 3st 1lb to go to my target weight (and 2st 8lb to go to my new "upper limit." I've been doing this for 12 weeks now and i'm finding my rhythm definitely.

This weekend I was supposed to be away, but Covid struck on Thursday so I had a weekend at home with just my youngest, whilst my husband and eldest continued to go away. This would normally be a binge situation with me making the most of being alone and eating whatever I wanted. I am so pleased to say I stayed on plan all weekend! I had 200cal evening meals on Saturday and Sunday night which was really nice and despite those familiar urges popping up, I resisted!

Covid test is negative for me today and i'm feeling better which is a relief. My oldest daughter has a cough now so i'm at home rather than work today and out of normal routine which might a be a bit tricky.

I am planning to stick with 3 products for the medium term, but thinking of introducing evening meals at the weekends. I know that the recommendation was to do this for 12 weeks so that's sort of on my mind, but also things are going well, so I dont know if i'm ready for a change yet...lots to think about this week!
Amazing achievement breaking your habits!

In terms of eating meals, you just need to do what’s most sustainable for you, and only you know that! As you know, I’m having a meal on days out, and that’s basically most weekends too so if it helps feel normal but doesn’t slow down weight loss, no harm done!
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Here we are, another Monday and another weigh in. This time, 5lb off bringing me to 14st 10lb. I cannot remember the last time I was in the 14st bracket! 3lb till I hit 4st loss which i'm hoping to do in the next couple of weeks.

This weekend has been all about navigating birthday cake for my eldest's birthday and children's party food, which was successful! I enjoyed a sunday roast yesterday (steamed carrots, cabbage, brocolli and cauliflower with roast beef and a little bit of gravy.) REAL FOOD!

I think the old plan was after 12 weeks, have a week off/add a meal. I'm not ready/organised enough/prepared enough to do that this week. I think I might see if I can do another 6 weeks which would take me up to my birthday...I tend to have one meal a week at the moment which is working for me. Although I keep getting the niggling binge feeling, I'm actually not feeling too bad overall. I'm starting to see real progress in terms of clothes sizes, which also helps to motivate.

This week looks pretty clear at the moment, so time to work on those next 3lb!
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Oops - it's Tuesday and i've not updated.

Another good Monday weigh in and 4lb off taking me just over the 4st loss and better than i'd hoped for for the week!

Doing a lot of thinking about my next steps now. I've been reading about reverse dieting and also listening to podcasts about binge eating/breaking those cycles.

I'm quite aware that i've done this bit before - the loosing doing a VLCD isn't the issue for me, it's the reintroduction of food, and how I manage that - I know I need a plan for the next steps and I need to decide what that is before I start doing something - having re-read my old diary, this is when things started to go wrong and my binge eating cycle started again, so it's a clear point I need to focus on this time.

Whilst i'm happy on the shakes, feeling in control and seeing decent weekly losses, i'm concerned about sticking with this plan and the long term affect on my metabolism. I had thought that perhaps I would stick with this plan until i have 1/2 a stone to go, but I might move on sooner than that.

At the moment, my thoughts are to try and follow reverse dieting which is all about reintroducing calories slowly. I think I will start off by going up by 100 cals (1/2 a product) and do this for a couple of weeks before adding in another 100cals (another 1/2 a product) and after another couple of weeks, add in the 200cal evening meal.

Probably controversially, i've been doing 3 products, like I did with CWP back in the day which is 600cals - that means that my first two additions will bring me up to the current 800 plan and then by mid-may i'll be on 1000cals. I'll see where I am then. I'd like to introduce some more exercise into my plan too, i'm thinking of getting back to running, but i'd also like to do weight training, logistically this might take a bit more organising!

So, that's this week's musings. Hope you're all doing well!
 




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