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Other people!

#1
Hi,

I have a target in mind of around 10 stone - maybe just slightly under. I am currently just over 11 stone and have lost 3 and a half stone so far..

Problem is all of my friends and family are now telling me to stop - i have explained that i am still classes as over weight (only 5"2") and that i want to lose another stone to feel happy and comfortable. I have never been slim before and really want to get there - but the people closest to me reckon i will look too thin if i carry on and say i am fine now.

It really frustrates me!! Sorry just needed to have a rant!!

k xx
 
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Annie68

Silver Member
#2
I actually wrote about this on my blog yesterday. We know we still need to lose a bit more, but everyone is used to seeing you at a certain size and it makes them uncomfortable to see you looking less familiar. It's their problem not yours.

Best way to deal with it is just to carry one and get to the target you want, but tell them you're trying to maintain. That way they're off your case about losing more, but you can get to where you want.
 

jaylou

Gold Member
#3
Hi,
If you don't feel happy as you are, then carry on losing weight. Don't worry about height/weight charts or what anyone else says.

I am 5ft 4 and I am 10 stone (my target), I am just on the edge of a healthy bmi so in theory I could (should) lose more, but I'm not going to because I am happy as I am now.

I set my first target at 10.5 stone but when I got there I still felt heavy so dropped it by half a stone.

Do whatever feels right for YOU! You have lost the weight for yourself so set your target at a weight you are happy with.
Jaylou xx
 
#4
you do whats best for you its you body,my sister-inlaw lost a lot of weight and her face started looking withdrawn and wrinkles were more prominent i told her in a nice way lol and she put 7lbs back on and she got more compiments do what you feel right
 
#6
This is really annoying!
Years ago when I lost a fair bit of weight people started saying that I had lost enough and they didn't want me to get anorexic- I was about 13 stone at the time!!!!!

I really think this behaviour is born out of jealousy and insecurity. Only YOU have the right to choose what size is right for you. If that is 15 stone or 8 stone, as long as you are comfortable and happy then other people should just keep there noses out.

You are entitled to be the size you choose. I would respond politely with:

"I'm sure you can appreciate that this is my own personal choice, and I know you will want to support me in whatever I decide"

No arguing with that, really

xxxxxx
 
#7
I'm 5" 2 also and I would like my target to be somewhere around 9 1/2 and that is still more than the recommended weight....but if I ever get that close and its too low then I'll re-think but it will be my choice and no-one elses.....well done on your losses so far...you're doing great.....
 
#8
First of all well done for what you have already achieved, as always on here there is lots of good advice. Just remember to do what makes you happy and if that means you wanting to lose another stone then sod what anyone else thinks.

Good luck :)
 

Harrie

Silver Member
#9
First of all, a huge well done on your loss so far. You've done incredibly well.

Second, I'm with the Sod Them gang! So long as you're in a place you want to be - and you're healthy - then it has nothing to do with anyone else.

I agree so much with Cocktail. It's their insecurities and hang ups that are ruling their tongues. Some people like us fatties being fat for their sakes, not for ours. Perhaps some of them need to lose a few pounds and don't want to be reminded that it can be done.

I read an article a while ago about how every slim person needs a fat friend to make them feel better about themselves. I didn't agree with it all, but I know I have some pals who don't like me dieting - or rather, making healthier choices - because they feel it incurbs on their eating. A bit like when you try to stop drinking and everyone tells you you're not being sociable.

Go for your weight, hun!
 
#10
everyone is used to seeing you at a certain size and it makes them uncomfortable to see you looking less familiar. It's their problem not yours.
Such a good point.

You know what is right for you and what you want. Dont listen to them hun and follow your own plan for you and not their plan for you if that makes sense x
 

bettylollypop

soon to be skinny minnie
#11
Hi hun, its easy for everyone to tell you what size you should be but at the end of the day it is your body and you know what is comfortable and suits you better than anyone. Stick at it and get to a target you feel happy with. Well done on your weightloss so far xx
 

weemo

Trying again!!!
#12
Hi hun, congrats on your weight loss so far, that is brill! I totally understand where you are coming from ~ I'm only 5ft and have a small build so I can really notice every pound on! A lot of my friends and family keep telling me I don't need to lose any weight but I know I do and I will. My avatar pic was when I was a 10/small 12 and I felt great ~ more energy, bags more confidence and I loved clothes shopping, my life did improve! So don't let anyone put you off, do it for yourself, you know what suits you better than anyone else, good luck xx
 

crazycrafter

I have collar bones!
#13
I'm 5ft exactly, and I weigh 9st 1lb! I've lost 2 stone, but one friend is telling me to stop. My target is set @ 8st 10lb - I have a history of heart disease and diabetes in my family, so with my doctor's consent, this is what I'm aiming for.

Every time I have a gain, this particular friend says "oh good - you're stopping then". It makes me mad!
 
#14
Fantastic weight loss, you must be so proud, and quite rightly! :)

I have exactly the same problem, and Annie makes a very good point. This may sound ridiculous but I think people start to become threatened by you because along this journey you become a stronger person and your insecurities start to shed away.

I have argued the hilt to people that I am not ready to stop and all I am told is,"But you look healthy". Do what you think is right for you hun. I know I will!! :)

K xx
 

dehli

Silver Member
#15
I get this from my Mum, she's always trying to get me to eat stuff like biscuits and cakes. She's very overweight, so probably doesn't want to be the fattest one around. I'm 5ft 4 and am aiming for 9 1/2 stone (although I may settle for 10 if I ever get there) which is in my healthy weight range. Annie's was a great idea, I'd tell people that you're doing sw to maintain your weight, that will get them off your case. Besides, when you've lost weight it often takes the body a while to rearrange the padding, so if you've lost lots from your face it may sort itself out after a few weeks!
 


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