RainbowRose's diary.

[RainbowRose]

Thought I'd start a diary for further motivation

I'm 47, a stay at home mum and am so tired of my obesity, I thought well its got to go!!!! It gives me issues with self confidence, esteem, belief etc etc. Feeling embarrased to go anywhere and meet new people, scared to sit on flimsy looking chairs in restaurants, or waiting rooms etc..ooh the list is endless

I was once a size 14/16, 4 children later and a comfort zone of eating the wrong foods, tasty but oh so WRONG ha ha, and here I am on this journey.

Finding xenical a good boost, with as yet, so side effects. Aware of everything I'm eating and definately stops me eating anything that won't agree with medication!

I'm on week 3 of xenical and so far so good, I've lost 1 whole stone. past couple of days I have had hunger pangs in the evening and am snacking on fruit, snack a jacks or in desperate times, a bowl of cereal!
Walking anywhere and everywhere is my method of exercise at the moment, but when the next stone is off, my reward is an exercise bike.
I will update this on a regular basis, even if no-one is reading LOL..it will still help keep me on the straight and narrow just typing my progress, joys or worries on here!

 

[KittyBling]

Great plan to start a diary, Rose, even if it's just to rant to yourself in cyberspace! I also find it helps every so often to post a food diary in my ordinary diary so I can read in black and white what I am eating. Isn't it amazing what being overweight does to us? Having lost a good bit of weight now I am having to face up to the fact that losing weight may not actually cure ALL of my problems, we are inclined to blame the weight for everything and I am beginning to realise it's not the cause of all the bad things that happen!
Snack idea for us savoury girls, Tesco Light Choices melba toast (a portion of 6) spread with tesco light choices Extra Light soft and smooth cream cheese. I really feel like I've had something but it comes in under 150 calories and is low in fat. Takes a while to prepare and eat which I think helps too...
Good luck on your journey,

KB x

 

[RainbowRose]

Thanks KB, I'll give those savoury snack ideas a go. That's exactly what I need, something non fattening, that actually feels like I've eaten something!

Definately more aware of feeling hungry recently, trying to keep busy in the evenings when they strike

 

[RainbowRose]

:cry:

I'm a failure, even after losing a stone and feeling on top of the world. I went crazy for the past few days, have probably gained the stone back

So feeling depressed and ashamed, but trying so hard today to get my head in the right place to start on track tomorrow.

So miserable :cry:

 

[KittyBling]

RR it's not the over-eating that makes you a failure, it's not dealing with it properly afterwards. Draw a line under it RIGHT NOW and get back to exactly what you were doing. We've all done it, pick yourself up and get back on that wagon. Good luck!

KB x

 

[Alex_1978]

RR, we only fail when we give up, and you're not about to do that, so you haven't failed!!
We all go off the rails sometimes, but the quicker you can draw that line the better. We're all in this for the long-term so a couple of days of indulgence is a minor blip, and shouldn't stop you from feeling proud of what you've acheived overall.

So maybe have a think about how you'll manage things next time you get the impulse to binge. Are you depriving yourself too much day-to-day? Sometimes it's better to allow yourself a little of what you fancy so that foods don't take on that 'forbidden' status.
Please don't think you're on your own though, I've been known to walk around the supermarket feeling almost detached from myself, picking up all the things I wouldn't normally have: cheese, cookies, pastries, cakes. And I won't ever waste food, so even if I do get a grip on myself when I get home or the next day, I'll still eat that food!

 

[Barb]

You'll be ok. You haven't re-gained a stone, maybe a few lbs, which you will soon drop. Think positive, you've already shown yourself you can do it, a little blip's not going to get in your way!

 

[RainbowRose]

Thankyou for the replies and advice AND support.
Just back from a long walk, sorted my head out and am ready to continue tomorrow morning, though I am eating healthily this evening, tomorrow is weigh in as usual

Sat looking out to sea, remembering WHY I am doing this and why I want it so bad.

I even felt sick eating rubbish, and it certainly affected my mood. So I'm back in the saddle, ready to clip clop along to the new slim me

Just imagining a horse with cast iron legs to carry me on its saddle..at the moment! :8855:

 

[RainbowRose]

Well folks here I am, safely back on track.

Faced the scales this morning, 3lb ON , just angry with myself now, rather than depressed.

Feeling my head is back where it belongs, and forgetting week 4 ...and embracing week 5

 

[clarish]

Hiya pet sent you 2 messages via email as I cant get PMs yet, I have been looking out for you, dont worry about the 3lbs we all have ups and downs you can do this, forget it now and start again