Redhead - back on track to slimdom
- Thread starter redhead66
- Start date
redhead66
This will be my year
Good evening my lovelies, how are you all this evening?
It's been the first day back at work, and I've really been struggling, although I thought I'd find it easier being out of the house. The carb devil has been whispering in my ear all day long, telling me that I might as well not bother to diet til after this weekend away. I even watched Supersize v Superskinny in the hope that it would deter me, and all I thought was ooooh pasties :sigh:
I'm so scared that I'll let go of all the hard work in getting to day 4, and losing 9lb in the process. I put a skirt on for work this morning that was more than snug last week, and it slipped on like a dream and fastened up easily. The minute I did it, that little voice started up saying that I could afford to take it easier, and that it doesn't really matter if I don't lose any more this week because I'm going away and my OH has booked a really nice restaurant for Sat night, so there's no point in depriving myself in the meantime. I have to find a way to banish the thought that I'm depriving myself and that I "deserve" to continue my carb fest. My weight is depriving me of the life I deserve, and CD is a means to get it back.
Rant over ladies, sorry for sounding so negative
It's been the first day back at work, and I've really been struggling, although I thought I'd find it easier being out of the house. The carb devil has been whispering in my ear all day long, telling me that I might as well not bother to diet til after this weekend away. I even watched Supersize v Superskinny in the hope that it would deter me, and all I thought was ooooh pasties :sigh:
I'm so scared that I'll let go of all the hard work in getting to day 4, and losing 9lb in the process. I put a skirt on for work this morning that was more than snug last week, and it slipped on like a dream and fastened up easily. The minute I did it, that little voice started up saying that I could afford to take it easier, and that it doesn't really matter if I don't lose any more this week because I'm going away and my OH has booked a really nice restaurant for Sat night, so there's no point in depriving myself in the meantime. I have to find a way to banish the thought that I'm depriving myself and that I "deserve" to continue my carb fest. My weight is depriving me of the life I deserve, and CD is a means to get it back.
Rant over ladies, sorry for sounding so negative
tink1982
Full Member
redhead66
This will be my year
LOL, I've settled for a chilli soup with extra Tabasco, and a hot water bottle for my feet.
I've given myself a good talking to while I was waiting for the kettle to boil, and thought about why I'm struggling.
I'm really missing my OH, it's been 4 weeks since I last saw him even though we speak on the phone every day. He's offshore right up to when we go away, so I'm travelling down to the cottage on my own and will meet him there. He goes off again straight afterwards and I won't see him for at least another month. He loves his job, and was doing it when I met him, so there's no way I can ask him to give it up, but it does get very lonely at times. It would have been lovely for him to have been here this morning to give me a pat on the back when I got ready for work, and I'm letting the resentment that he wasn't here get to me.
It's also been a horrible day at work. We've had a few redundancies and other leavers recently, and it seems that I'm having to try to pick up a lot of the work, as well as running my department. It goes back to the self-esteem issues I mentioned in my first diary post. It's a vicious circle, losing weight will improve my self-esteem... if only I can stop the low self-esteem sabotaging me in the first place.
Oh why is this dieting thing not easy? :sigh:
Phew, I feel better for getting it all down on screen. I need to give some careful consideration to whatever else might be a sabotage trigger. If you've managed to get to the end of this without falling asleep, thanks for reading xx
I've given myself a good talking to while I was waiting for the kettle to boil, and thought about why I'm struggling.
I'm really missing my OH, it's been 4 weeks since I last saw him even though we speak on the phone every day. He's offshore right up to when we go away, so I'm travelling down to the cottage on my own and will meet him there. He goes off again straight afterwards and I won't see him for at least another month. He loves his job, and was doing it when I met him, so there's no way I can ask him to give it up, but it does get very lonely at times. It would have been lovely for him to have been here this morning to give me a pat on the back when I got ready for work, and I'm letting the resentment that he wasn't here get to me.
It's also been a horrible day at work. We've had a few redundancies and other leavers recently, and it seems that I'm having to try to pick up a lot of the work, as well as running my department. It goes back to the self-esteem issues I mentioned in my first diary post. It's a vicious circle, losing weight will improve my self-esteem... if only I can stop the low self-esteem sabotaging me in the first place.
Oh why is this dieting thing not easy? :sigh:
Phew, I feel better for getting it all down on screen. I need to give some careful consideration to whatever else might be a sabotage trigger. If you've managed to get to the end of this without falling asleep, thanks for reading xx
therealbbe
Gold Member
Awwwwwww lovely lady I will pat you on the back for getting to the end of what sounds a most exhausting day for you both physically and mentally!!!! We all have the little devils in our ears or from others - mine normally starts when I have lost about a stone or stone and half then people start telling me I look good and say "god surely you don't need to lose another 2 stone no way you will look Ill" so that is one sabotage then the one in my head says "you don't need to take drastic action like starving yourself you look good clothes fit you can lose it slowly on WW or SW and enjoy food" why oh why do I listen to these pesky things because we all know weeks or months later we will be back to square one!!!!
Well sorry for the rambling and hijacking your post hopefully you know what I mean lovely
Well done again and speak really soon xxxxx
Well sorry for the rambling and hijacking your post hopefully you know what I mean lovely
Well done again and speak really soon xxxxx
margarino
Chronic dieter!!!
If dieting was easy, we'd all be size zeros - although after watching supersize/superskinny last night, i think i would rather just stay as i am than be a size zero At least this way i keep my curvy womanly figure! But anyway, stress and dieting are such a difficult combination and it is what got me off the rails 2 months ago, i work for a local authority and while my job isn't currently at risk a number of colleagues are which is difficult to watch as they are friends as well... With the low self esteem, have you ever tried tackling it alongside the weight loss by seeing a counsellor? I remember when i lost a load of weight a few years back and was a healthy weight i still had all the self esteem problems - sometimes we think that losing the weight will give us back our self esteem but really it masks other underlying issues... Also i read about this book called the Beck book on another thread, not sure if you have heard about it but it is based on CBT therapy (which is very evidence-based!) and other people are finding it useful to tackle their "inner demons"
I really do hope things pick up for you really soon, in the meantime, why don't you draw a picture of what you think things will look like when you get to goal, what will be different? (or words if you are not artistic), then come up with a list of the small steps you need to get to this future you, that way you can cross them off as you go along and be reminded of all the successes you have had, rather than focussing on what you perceive are the failures - but while you are on this road there are no failures, just curves in the road.
Well done on all you have achieved so far and hope you have a better rest of the week xx
At least this way i keep my curvy womanly figure! But anyway, stress and dieting are such a difficult combination and it is what got me off the rails 2 months ago, i work for a local authority and while my job isn't currently at risk a number of colleagues are which is difficult to watch as they are friends as well... With the low self esteem, have you ever tried tackling it alongside the weight loss by seeing a counsellor? I remember when i lost a load of weight a few years back and was a healthy weight i still had all the self esteem problems - sometimes we think that losing the weight will give us back our self esteem but really it masks other underlying issues... Also i read about this book called the Beck book on another thread, not sure if you have heard about it but it is based on CBT therapy (which is very evidence-based!) and other people are finding it useful to tackle their "inner demons" I really do hope things pick up for you really soon, in the meantime, why don't you draw a picture of what you think things will look like when you get to goal, what will be different? (or words if you are not artistic), then come up with a list of the small steps you need to get to this future you, that way you can cross them off as you go along and be reminded of all the successes you have had, rather than focussing on what you perceive are the failures - but while you are on this road there are no failures, just curves in the road.
Well done on all you have achieved so far and hope you have a better rest of the week xx
margarino
Chronic dieter!!!
I found a paper about the book: http://www.the-iacp.com/files/CBTBR-Vol_4_5_a2.pdf
redhead66
This will be my year
Aw, thanks ladies
Well I've woken up feeling far better, particularly as I didn't blip yesterday. I think my mind was just having a carb withdrawal fight... and I'm so proud that I didn't reach for the bread, cheese and wine Like I would have done only a week ago
Thanks for the info Margarino, I've seen other people talking about the Beck books on here, so I think I'll check them out. I put my weight on quite rapidly after a lifetime of being curvy but slim, and tbh, being used to nice comments about my figure etc. It really knocked my self-confidence, specially as my then OH used it as an excuse when I caught him out cheating (she may have been slim, but oh boy she was an airhead!!!), and I can track my feelings back to that. When I lost 4st on CD a few years ago, the self-esteem issues disappeared, so I guess how I feel is tied into how I look in more ways than one. Oooh, just read that back and it sounds so vain
Anyway, time to feed the dog and get off to work. Have a wonderful day everybody and I'll be popping on later to check how everybody's doing xxx
Well I've woken up feeling far better, particularly as I didn't blip yesterday. I think my mind was just having a carb withdrawal fight... and I'm so proud that I didn't reach for the bread, cheese and wine Like I would have done only a week ago
Thanks for the info Margarino, I've seen other people talking about the Beck books on here, so I think I'll check them out. I put my weight on quite rapidly after a lifetime of being curvy but slim, and tbh, being used to nice comments about my figure etc. It really knocked my self-confidence, specially as my then OH used it as an excuse when I caught him out cheating (she may have been slim, but oh boy she was an airhead!!!), and I can track my feelings back to that. When I lost 4st on CD a few years ago, the self-esteem issues disappeared, so I guess how I feel is tied into how I look in more ways than one. Oooh, just read that back and it sounds so vain
Anyway, time to feed the dog and get off to work. Have a wonderful day everybody and I'll be popping on later to check how everybody's doing xxx
therealbbe
Gold Member
Morning lovely I am so pleased ya passed the horrible carbs day demon withdrawals thinking of you and have a lovely day xxx
redhead66
This will be my year
Good evening to all you special ladies,I hope you've all had a good day. My day has been really good, diet wise and work wise.
On the diet front, I've been 100% today. After yesterday's manic carb tussle, the Ketofairy has kindly decided to wave her magic wand over me again and my hunger has completely disappeared, to the point of having to force down my final shake 10 mins ago. I've got the wonderful keto-rush giving me loads of energy, how I lurve that keto-rush and the slightly spaced out feeling it brings.
On the work front, I stood up for myself and said no, I will not be taken advantage of any more. A colleague came into my office asking me to pick up yet more work. I thought about it carefully and then told him that yes, I and my dept could pick it up, and the ETA for delivery would be 2 weeks on Friday. After much wheedling and arguing, he stomped out to go find somebody more "reasonable" LOL
It's strange how a little two letter word can make me feel so much better.I sat earlier compiling a motivation playlist for my iPod. The songs I've got so far are:
I'm Every Woman - Chaka Khan
Independent Woman - Destinys Child
It's My Life - Bon Jovi
Firework - Katy Perry (wonderful words)
Loving Each Day - Ronan Keating
Proud - Heather Small
Moving On Up - M People
Feeling Good - Nina Simone
If anybody has any more ideas for motivational songs, I'm open to all suggestions. I'm going to take my iPod with me in my handbag, and when I have my faltering moments I'll pop it on for a track or 2 to remind me why I'm doing this.
Time for bed, big day tomorrow with my first WI in the morning. I can't wait, and just hope the weightloss fairy has been as kind to me as the Ketofairy.
Have a good day tomorrow hunnies, and I'll let you know how I get on xx
"And I'm feeling goooood (dum dum da da, dum da daaaaa)"
redhead66
This will be my year
And the Weightloss Fairy, she says..... 11lb in 6 days
I'm so chuffed, and did my CD waggle dance like a good un... much to the amusement of my CDC's young grandson LOL! For those of you old enough to remember the birthday bunny hops from Victoria Wood, I'm going to have a CD bunny waggle for every pound lost, so....
Seriously, thank you so, so much to all you lovely ladies out there for talking me through this first week - each and every one of you is special :grouphugg:
Hope you're all having a good day, and I'll pop on for an update on you all later
Vicki xxx
I'm so chuffed, and did my CD waggle dance like a good un... much to the amusement of my CDC's young grandson LOL! For those of you old enough to remember the birthday bunny hops from Victoria Wood, I'm going to have a CD bunny waggle for every pound lost, so....
Seriously, thank you so, so much to all you lovely ladies out there for talking me through this first week - each and every one of you is special :grouphugg:
Hope you're all having a good day, and I'll pop on for an update on you all later
Vicki xxx
MissyJo
Full Member
And the Weightloss Fairy, she says..... 11lb in 6 days
I'm so chuffed, and did my CD waggle dance like a good un... much to the amusement of my CDC's young grandson LOL! For those of you old enough to remember the birthday bunny hops from Victoria Wood, I'm going to have a CD bunny waggle for every pound lost, so....
Seriously, thank you so, so much to all you lovely ladies out there for talking me through this first week - each and every one of you is special :grouphugg:
Hope you're all having a good day, and I'll pop on for an update on you all later
Vicki xxx
Wowee! Woo! Woo. Woooooooooop! That is so blooming BRILLIANT!! I am excitied anout 7.15 now.
Well done!!!! Utter star!:553::happy096::clap:
:bliss::girlpower::banana dancer:arty0011:
:banana dancer:arty0038:
