Small note on how I feel :(

[Zoon]

I was sick today and ate and all my emotions surfaced. I wrote something down, not a great writer but this is how I feel.

It’s hard not to feel like a failure, when that it is all you ever hear
Smiling along like no apprehension exists, but weeping inside, alone; in absolute fear
Fear of solitary, fear of being trapped, calling for help but nobody ever comes near
The pain the anguish nobody understands, nobody understands because nobody is here
I’m alone, for how long I don’t know, so to you all I have come, come to share
:break_diet::break_diet::break_diet::break_diet:

 

[Setas]

Sorry you were sick and feeling rotten. But you aren't a failure, please don't knock yourself. I wish i could offer some decent advice - if you search for threads by Goreygirl she has worked so hard and offered such fantastic advice and information you might find that some help

Hope you are feeling better soon

 

[Rae Rae]

Awww hun, hope ur feeling much brighter today. Just dust yourself off and tell the gremlins to do one and oh yeah, keep gluggin the water,it really does help.

 

[Zoon]

Hey guys thanks for your support. This is how I think most people have felt when they've been the heaviest. I have always struggled with my weight and was bullied at school for it. But yeah today is a better day and a more determined me

 

[Goreygirl]

Hi honey

I can totally empathise about how empty and hopeless you feel in that moment. But CD can be a wonderful tool to help you learn to live and cope with the reality of day to day life and it's emotions. In fact often we don't even know how to name the emotions because we are so used to burying them in food. It's scary at first and does take time and patience with yourself but then becomes very empowering and liberating.

But please do take it day by day and hour by hour if you can. Keep writing, carry a notebook everywhere.. scribble down what you are feeling as often as possible and where you are, what you are doing. It doesn't have to be complete sentences.. just a few words. It really does help and then as the weeks pass you can look back and it can help you see the patterns/triggers for the negative feelings and how they build up and become overwhelming.

Is there anyway you can access some formal support via a counsellor/therapist who specialises in food disorders to help you learn how to recognise and deal with the underlying (subconscious issues/emotions)?

As Setas said I've been posting about my journey and experiences in various places and you might find some of them helpful. I've put some links here for you that you might find of interest:

- http://www.gettinbetter.com/needlove.html
- ARE YOU UNHAPPY BECAUSE YOU'RE HEAVY, OR HEAVY BECAUSE YOU'RE UNHAPPY?
- Living Life To The Full - is an excellent site for helping you help yourself
Binge Eating - NHS Choices

Send me a pm if you have any questions? And be gentle with yourself honey... firmly the negative voice to stay quite when it starts up in your head .. it feels funny at first but it does begin to work

 

[bellefrogette]

hey Zoon, don't dispair, just take it one day at a timeand as CG says, writting is brilliant as a tool to begin dealing with all th estuff that comes up.



Bella

 

[Setas]

See what I mean about Gg isn't she just fantastic - hope you find her links helpful they have been a great help to me.

 

[Goreygirl]

Aw thanks Setas