Tina's diary of hopefull optimism!

I have PMT of doom. I've just chased husband an all the kids out the house yelling that they aren't allowed to come back till I've had a shower an dried my hair and they have learnt to stop being such a bunch of lazy messy ungratefull horrors. They've taken the bikes and fled lol.
Husband slept in till ten then spent an hr in the bath an then the in laws arrived with no warning an stayed till half bleeding one when I haven't food shopped so there wasn't enough bread for all of us but hubby hid upstairs an left me to entertain them in my pigging dressing gown!!!!! I want my goddam shower NOW!!!!!

TOTM will no doubt arrive tomoz and ruin my week of total abstinence. WI will be a bag of crap and I will have a day of comforting my best bud on the 7th anniversary of her sons death while feeling like microwaved dog doings.

I want a dirty great carvery. Immediately. Or the family will get it!!! Hehehe. I have crappy WW crackers an crappy lowlow cheese coz my very probably soon to be EX HUSBAND ate my frigging lunch. Which sucks donkey balls.

I hate PMT.

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Oh chicken!!! Sending a big virtual hug... don't bite it's head off when it gets to you, just enjoy the comfort!!!

You are sooooooooo close to that golden BMI number that makes you normal... do not let the PMT monsters ruin it!!! x
 
I'm showered an dressed an feeling human but my family have returned from exile so I'm hiding upstairs being grumpy on my own!!! Normally wild horses wouldn't drag this out of me but.........

I am an unreasonable snippy biatch the day before TOTM. I terrorise my children and victimise my husband!!!

Well actually it's the one day each month that I feel rather unappreciated and annoyed that if I don't do it IT NEVER GETS DONE!!! So usually I have a good stomp round, threaten to go on strike, yell at anyone who makes any mess and order a take out coz I've refused to cook :)

How will I cope without take out??????? Will we all survive it????

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There sounds like a high risk of starvation!!! x
 
I am sending many hugs! PMT sucks and it sounds like you get it bad.
I think you are verging on saintly though, cos you said this is the only time in a month that you let rip. My OH says I have permanent PMT!!!! Hahahahaha!!!

YOU DO NOT NEED TAKE OUT OR A CARVERY!!!!!!!!! :D
 
Nooooo you don't want or need the carvery, just think soooo close to a 'normal' BMI... you can do it!!!
 
Pah. Stupid BMI. ;)

I had pesto chicken topped with mozzarella (thankyou asda!!) garlic an herb roasted new pots 150g an a radish based side salad coz I bought a huuuuge bunch of gigantic fresh ones with the leaves still on at farmers Market yesterday :) it was radishalicious lol

Carvery it wasn't but still nice. I like pesto!! Must buy some this week. Feel better now I'm stuffed an the kids are asleep!!

1100ish for today. Shall go click DONE on MFP :)

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Hmmm tea came up as under 370. Pretty damn good eh? I didn't log the one cal spray tho but that's like 5 cals!!!

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lucysmommy said:
That's great!

Is the chicken nice from asda? X

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It's just chicken rubbed with green pesto with a slice of mozzerella on top lol nothing you can't do easily enough at home but I like to keep a couple things like that in freezer for lazy days!!

Was DELISH. not toooo pestoey and really quite cheesy for the cals? 211 for one I think?

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Thats good

I sometimes don't have the time to cook do these wee bits are great for me x

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nurseberyl said:
I had carvery today at half 3, I was good didnt have normal massive portion but now im bloody starving.

Watch those Carverys!! I'm still traumatised from the one I had 8 weeks ago lol. Thought it was a perfect CC option as you have total control but I'm not even joking it was the highest cal pub meal ive ever tried to cal count!! The shock afterwards when I MFP'd it!!! Think it documented in my diary somewhere actually lol!!! I'd have done better with a burger an chips.

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I have had a similar pesto chicken from Morrisons, very nice.

Now pesto.

Pesto is one of my absolutley favourite things in the whole wide world. It is full of oil, but if you are simply using a tablespoon in pasta or rice, or dolloping it on top of fish or chicken, it aint so bad. The massive problem with shop bought pesto, is it's ridiculousy high salt content!!! Absolutley terrible, and not good for the old bloating.
It's great as a quick fix, but I highly reccomend you make your own, so you can control the salt.
I have several delish recipes, that I can post for you, if anyone wants them. Just let me know.

Well done Tina, for not giving in to the call of the carvery. :D
 
I've never tried pesto - it's something I'll need to try!

And Tina, you're a dab hand in the kitchen! Nigella Lawson stand aside, step forward Mrs. Tina!

The carvary is mental. You can have the smallest portion and it's like 1000 calories and 45g of fat. Last time I went I asked for a children's portion and the guy gave me it! (thank you lord for making me vertically challenged) It meant I didn't get as much meat and my plate was only tiny, and it also meant I didn't get strange looks from folks when I arrived back at the table with two potatoes, a few carrots and peas and a slice of turkey rolling about a massive plate. All smothered in gravy, naturally ;)
 
Well I'm having a wobble. The universe is conspiring against me. PMT the night before ethans anniversary. Not good. Crawled into bed earlier but have just been lying here with leaky eyes. it's so stupid.

He died 7 years ago tomoz just before his fourth birthday. I miss him. We all do. I don't even know how his mom carries on!!! I just keep thinking bout the fun times and I'm sad coz there's still an Ethan shaped hole some days that never goes away!!

Grief is a weird thing because nothing you do makes it better. I don't know how to make myself feel better. I want chocolate but that's a habitual response. We've always grieved with food as a family. Every anniversary we go for lunch, just the three of us an raise a glass. On his birthday we still have a birthday cake just for our kids and a special dinner. The kids make a card for the grave an release balloons and some years it's a lovely day.

I don't really know how not to eat for England when things are sad!!! And I'm scared to try CC'ing lunch tomoz in case Jo thinks I've forgotten him so much that my diet is more important to me!!! Which is silly coz I know she won't be like that. An nothing will ever make me forget him.

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Oh god hun, I honestly don't know what to say.
I know how hard grief is, especially in circumstances where the person should not have gone so early.
It's no wonder you are feeling leaky eyed, anniversaries are so hard.

Sometimes I wish there was a magic wand to wave. Maybe it could bring the person back, or just get rid of the ultimate pain that is grief. I really wish I had one for you right now.

I hate the saying "time is a healer", because I have never found it to be true. I'm sure some people find comfort in it, but I think the longer it is, the worse it gets.

The birthday cakes and balloons are a brilliant idea. I know it is contriversal to keep celebrating milestones, but I have always found it comforting and fitting.

I hope tommorow you do lot's of talking and laughing, and I am sure there will be lot's of crying. So I just want you to know I will be thinking of you at this really difficult time. :hug99:

As for trying to feel better, I agree, nothing will make you feel any better. No amount of chocolate or wine will ease the pain you feel, but maybe the talking and remembering can make it more bearable.
Your friend won't think badly of you for ccing tomorrow, but your mind is in grief mode, so everything seems illogical. If you want my honest opinion, I wouldn't give ccing another thought tomorrow. There are far more important things to be worrying or thinking about. In the face of the diet, it is just one day. Sod it hun, and concerntrate on remembering that special little boy.

Lot's of love xxx
 
Thnks love :( feel better today. Yesterday was a bit odd as I've not been upset over this for a while so it kinda creeped up on me. PMT you see??? I'm a bit of a stiff upper lipper in public so I probably wont get upset today!!!

Im really bad at public displays of assorted emotionalness. Everyone thought I was crying at my wedding but I'd got a speck of mascara under my contact lens!! The hubby cried a bit coz he's a big baby!!!

Done my official WI and I've not gained any so this week i'm on 177 still :) yay!! Lost 4 this week. Gonna try an stay off the scales till thurs.

Off to get ready then drop kids off an go pick up Jo an take her to the cemetery early. She likes to go an give it a good extra clean before ppl start showing up. Then we are driving over to brum to meet Kate for lunch on her lunch hr. Dunno where we're going as she's on home visits today so she could be anywhere by lunchtime!!!
An oh how I looooove driving round the scary bits of brum looking for a half decent pub hahaha!!! Jo won't do it lol she's crap at using a map which is why I'm driving!!!

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