When a compliment sounds like an insult ....

[fatpossum]

I have told only a couple of my friends that I am doing CD - from past experience I know that I would get a better reception if I admitted to being an armed robber than on a VCLD!!

But even those few friends that I have told seem to struggle with my decision.

Two of them, both of whom are a bit on the large side (one is very large and far larger than I ever was - (now that sounds a bit bitchy - d'you think I might be a bit peeved?!) was talking to me today about the diet and asking about what was involved ..... but not in a way that indicated real interest (...know what I mean?).

Towards the end of the conversation she looked at me and with a slight raising of the brows and a slight curl of the lip said ... "Well, you must have some willpower".

Now the words in themselves were fine, and I know only too well (as do you all) that doing SS or any part of a VLCD is HARD and requires bags of willpower, but it didn't feel like a positive comment - instead it sounded as though she was highlighting a character defecit!

Now, I am not in anyway put off (I've been here before) but whatever happened to 'live and let live'?

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Mmmmmmmmmmm I've been here so many times. Some of my so called friends have shown their true colours and I am now more choosy about my friendships.

Not sure why people try to sabotage us VLCD's ... you wouldn't offer a beer to an alcoholic who you knew was on the wagon would you??!

 

[misscheeky]

One word Jealousy.simple especially if she was a bit bigger than you.im not been mean but thats how people get..maybe she tried a vlcd before and didnt tell anyone and failed and sees how your doing and is jealous. One of the reasons ive told no one about cd.

 

[festivalfairy]

Same!! Ive lost a few friends well not lost but they dont talk to me as often anymore which to be honest i expected (BTW most of these friends i was bigger then but now im thinner) the few friends and my boyf that have stood by me i love so im not arsed there loss !!!

 

[Jools]

Try to take no notice babes ...

xx

 

[Camille]

OMG why are people like that???!!!!!
I've had one of those today. Someone I consider a good friend was asking me what det I was doing and, as I've learnt from Neggie Nellis in the past, I told it was a very low cal diet. She then asked how much I had lost and how long I had been on the diet to which her reply was........That's not a det, that's starvation!!!!
A few mins later she saw someone who lives near her and told me how fantastic the lady had done to lose 4 1/2 stone on SW since last August! Now I'm not knocking that she does look fantastic but I didn't get a well done or any compliment from my 'friend' just a few snappy comments!!! I did feel quite put out by her but I guess she is just jealous!
Okay rant over & I feel soooooo much better getting that off my chest!
So, Fatpossum, You are not alone. The world is full of Neggie Nellies thankfully we have all the lovely people on here to keep us going xxxx

 

[SO MUCH TO LOSE!]

the green eyed monster seems to be rearing his ugly head hun,your friend is just jealous and more than likely wouldnt be able to stick to it herself so puts you down just to make herself feel better,i say take it as a compliment as you know that shes raging that she cant successfully diet,
elaine x

 

[jennikay]

A few people have been like that for me, but I'm sooo smug with having lost half a stone already that well, if they're gonna be like that then that's their choice!

Hah, people must hate me.

 

[s_786]

Hiya,
this so happens all the time. Some "friends" dont like the idea of you being in so much control and think its crazy to be on such diet.
I get the line " oh but why you need to loose weight"...
I had a bad 2nd half of the day due to some real encouragment to eat from a friend...
I know it aint easy but just ignore, thats what I am going to do now on.

 

[jennikay]

Yep, I get 'encouragement' to eat, mainly from my mother (who is obese).
Funny how it's the fat 'friends' who want us to fail...

 

[s_786]

^ so blaaaady true hun. its always people who are bigger... I have decided not to discuss my diet, or weight related things with certain friends. I dont doubt their friendship but for some reason they encourage me to eat. I simply cant allow that to happen now.

 

[jennikay]

Stay strong!
Keep thinking about how you'll be thinner than them in x number of months, it's how I do it
One of my fat friends, when I said I was starting the diet was interested, then I started it and she was very negative about it, especially when I said I lost 7 lbs in the first week

I have absolutely no hesitance in telling people about my diet, because it works for me and I'm ecstatic with it, and no-one is going to persuade me to stray because I have huge amounts of will-power - because I'm dieting for the last time, and from here on in it's healthy choices and everything in moderation, and I'm so excited about being slim for the rest of my life

 

[poppygreendog]

Their just jealous. I know what you mean though, a very good friend of mine constantly tells me I don't need to do this, if I just at cereal for brekkie a nice sandwich for lunch and a normal dinner I would lose weight (yeah right!) I've just stopped talking to people about the diet if they can't be supportive, I don't need negativity so I'm just blanking it out.

Good luck and worry not about what other people think.

Sara

 

[ellie534]

I have hardley told anyone that I am doing it! But I made a mistake in telling one friend and I feel like she wants me to fail!!
She is the typical "well once you start eating again it will all go back on, blah blah blah!!) so I am not really mentioning it now!!
and at the end of the day I am doing this for myself not for anyones aproval!! so I say let them say their little comments if it makes them feel better! we can choose to ignore it and not let it bother us!!

 

[SlimMrsJ]

I don't think you should have to keep it from anyone that you're on a diet, it's nothing to be ashamed of!! Once you know why you've decided to go on it, it shouldn't really matter one way or the other what people think/say about it. My family is VERY supportive of me being on this diet as they know I want to lose weight even though they keep telling me I look fine just the way I am, however the very first time we all went out to eat and I insisted on drinking only water, they spent the whole meal going "won't you have just 1 piece of chicken?" or "here have a little bite of my cheesecake" and I realised it was down to me and my willpower to stick to my guns, not that they were trying to sabotage me! I think people make those comments to try and help prepare you for the worst without realising that it can sound very negative. Having said that, there are always those few individuals who have gotten used to you being a certain way and don't want you to change for fear of losing you, being overshadowed or whatever. Keep up the good work ladies!

 

[festivalfairy]

Funny how it's the fat 'friends' who want us to fail...

SO SO TRUE!

 

[s_786]

Stay strong!
Keep thinking about how you'll be thinner than them in x number of months, it's how I do it
One of my fat friends, when I said I was starting the diet was interested, then I started it and she was very negative about it, especially when I said I lost 7 lbs in the first week

I have absolutely no hesitance in telling people about my diet, because it works for me and I'm ecstatic with it, and no-one is going to persuade me to stray because I have huge amounts of will-power - because I'm dieting for the last time, and from here on in it's healthy choices and everything in moderation, and I'm so excited about being slim for the rest of my life

we are thinking very much alike...its the LAST time i am on this diet. I cant wait to hit my target and adopt a healthy life style, to eat like thin people. They eat when they are hungry. I use to eat anytime of the day just becuase I fancied eating.

 

[s_786]

I don't think you should have to keep it from anyone that you're on a diet, it's nothing to be ashamed of!! Once you know why you've decided to go on it, it shouldn't really matter one way or the other what people think/say about it. My family is VERY supportive of me being on this diet as they know I want to lose weight even though they keep telling me I look fine just the way I am, however the very first time we all went out to eat and I insisted on drinking only water, they spent the whole meal going "won't you have just 1 piece of chicken?" or "here have a little bite of my cheesecake" and I realised it was down to me and my willpower to stick to my guns, not that they were trying to sabotage me! I think people make those comments to try and help prepare you for the worst without realising that it can sound very negative. Having said that, there are always those few individuals who have gotten used to you being a certain way and don't want you to change for fear of losing you, being overshadowed or whatever. Keep up the good work ladies!

For me, its not the matter of being ashamed, but I noticed that certain friends encourage me to eat, even though I say No, keep offering me food, especially at work place. I have decided now to be a bit discrete about it.

 

[Mushette]

I told one of my Work mates that i was going on the diet and i got told i was 'silly' and that i should go back to SW with her!
Each to there own is my motto, but it bugged me when i didn't even ask her opinion! SW never worked for me in the first place so why do something that you don't want to do!
Really put me in a bad Mood!

 

[discojen]

I know exactly what you mean. I took some biscuits into work today as it was my last day and one of the cows said "well, at least you didn't bring us all a shake in"!!!!

Why is it that if we were trying to stop smoking/drinking/drugs we would be praised and supported to the hilt, yet trying to lose weight (which can be more dangerous to our health than smoking/drinking/drugs) is belittled?! ARGH!
(rant over)

xxx