When's enough, enough..

[ThinDilema]

Im going to be honest because theres no-one else i can talk to..Im really struggling its not lapsing or anything like that its my eating disordered thoughts that have made me lose and gain weight...the thing is, when is enough enough, when are these thoughts going to leave me, when im i going to stop punishing myself for something which isn't my fault
I know its laughable hey? Someone like me with these sort of problems. 'Shes so settled' 'shes got a perfect life' 'shes got nothing to worry about' 'the one thats always smiling'...why cant these negative voices leave me so i can stop acting and be me.
Im so scared ill never get there
Don't get me wrong i think my binging behaviours are fading the reasons behind binging are leaving (thanks to LL) but my restrictive and over exercising and stuff thoughts are becoming stronger and i dont understand why
Sorry probably the completely wrong place to post this I've just got no-one else to talk to about this...
Sorry
x

 

[Blonde Logic]

You talk away hon.

DOn;t forget - you are just starting out on this Rach....there is an awful lot of road for you travel down, and on that journey, youa re going to learn the answers to all the questions above - you just won;t get them all this week. Or next week.

It requires patience...and time....and a lot of thought and understanding. I won;t lie - some of it will be painful. But some of it will be joyfull too.

Try not to expect to have everything solved in the first few weeks - you are setting yourself up for dissappointment if you do. How many years have you had these troubles? And how many weeks have you been on LL. Its going to take time. And it should take time - so you really get it. Ya know?

Relax, and know you are changing your life, one step at a time. And if that step is one day - or one week - or even a month - it doesn't matter - what matters, is you are changing.

Let it unfold naturaly, don't try to rush it.

And don;t forget you are not alone.

So you talk away missy! Whenever you want.

It will all be alright - just take the time to learn the lessons properly.

 

[thin_inside]

Well said BL. Rach you can post here any time you want, hon as we are all in the same boat.

I hope the CBT and TA parts of LL that you will be introduced to and discuss over the coming weeks will make sense. When you apply them you will have the tools to understand, challenge and change your thoughts in relation to food and to other aspects of your life.

xx

 

[slendablenda]

Hi Rachiie

I remember some of the stuff you talked about before. You have already dealt with lots of issues. They don't just suddenly go away. It can take years to learn different ways of behaviour with food as well as people. We won't always get it right first time.
This is absolutely the right place to discuss these feelings. Aren't you surprised that we all have self confidence
and self esteem issues even if they are buried under layers and layers of fat?
Other people think we are thick skinned, capable andcan deal with anything. They have no idea how we feel inside. That's why we found different ways of coping.
It's the CBT and comnig to understand myself better that has helped me turn my life around with the help of LL, my LLC and support from people who care.
This forum is a life saver for many, especially in those dark night time hours when it seems so hard.

 

[ThinDilema]

Thankyou all so much it means alot for people to accept and understand what im going through when half the time people look at me like im speaking double dutch!! even the medical professionals!!!
Well im writting from the gym at the moment 433calories gone but feel better let out some of that anger and pissed off-ness really you are all amazing! you help me more than most of my friends, family and even doctors!
THANKYOU
xoxo

 

[Jezebella]

TD so glad to hear you are feeling a little more cheerful. BL, SB and all the other posters have said everything I could say to you and so eloquently. I think this is the very place you should be posting and talking as you will find all the support you need on this forum. Have you discussed with your LLC your previous eating disorders? Another thing to consider is to see a separate councillor that specialises in this. I was lucky as my local GP has councillors and I was lucky enough to get to see one. It might help, but yes, do not expect to have it all sorted right in the beginning. Life and indeed Lighter Life is a journey, enjoy the ride not just the destination hun.

Big Kisses

Jez
xx