Ode to Slimming World
“Your BMI is much too high
If you carry on like this, you will die”
It’s the words I didn’t want to hear
My life to me, you see, is very dear
“It’s easy to do” I was told
I had the chat, now I was sold
I joined a group of 50 women
If I was younger I’d have been in heaven
The first week’s going was slightly hard
I didn’t know a syn from a pack of lard
But persevere I must, I’m told
I tried my best, I wanted gold
As weeks went by the weight dropped off
I gathered certificates, boy was I chuffed
I set a Target, it won’t take long
I went straight past, boy was I wrong
I tried again, I must succeed
I tried again I will succeed
The target came and went again
What’s happened to me, it’s a right pain.
I’ve made it now, I’ve reached my goal
I’ve got the badge; Margaret Miles-Bramwell has my soul
It’s took a time I must admit
Now comes the hardest part of it
To maintain you have a 6lb window
3 up or down from Target heaven
Eat more Healthy extras please
You must be joking, you’re a tease
I’ve maintained now for over 10 weeks
I know it all; I’m one of the geeks
I write my own recipes, I’ll have you know
Buying all the food keeps me on the go
Good & bad weeks, in the last year
Some up, some down, I don’t care
I’ve enjoyed myself, I’ve made new friends
My personal journey now comes to an end
My advice to all is stick to the plan
Save your syns?, yes you can
For that treat, you know you want
Go out with your mates, then you can rant
Now finely, I have to tell
I’ve just gone through my personal hell
My fellow SW members must be kinky
They have entered me for miss slinky
We had a vote, we had 3 members
Now guess who won
I was pre-warned to bring a dress
It must be nice, it must impress
Well here it is, don’t take the pee
You see it’s really, only me
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