Will I find love??

[t11cky]

After 3 serious long term relationships in my life and hitting 36. I am lonely after a few months and really want to find love!!
Come on ladies please share with my any tips for finding a lady that is right for my life and that I am right for her life, I am just under 17 stone, How low will I need to be before more ladies will chat to me??

 

[Rara Lara]

Awwww well im married...hehe
Just be yourself hun, thats the best way to be! Lose weight for yourself, not anyone else!
I was 16st 12lbs when i met my hubby (well re-met him, i knew him for yrs before) and he loves me no matter what my weight, i went up to 19+ stone when pregnant with our daughter, at the moment i am 14st 4lbs which is my lowest weight for 8 yrs!!! He would love me if i was 6st or 60st, love is unconditional.
I think you need more confidence, get out and meet people, show people there is more to you that meets the eye, enjoy life, and don't look for love, let it find you!

Good luck hun u can do it xxx

 

[Rara Lara]

Just to add - by the first sentance i was implying that you can't have me....i wasn't showing off about being married lol xxx

 

[Jenna88]

I'm in the same boat as you, granted Im 23 and have never had a proper relationship. I think part of my problem is I'm not confident in myself and if a guy does come up to me (not that its a regular occurrence) I automatically assume they're taking the pi$$. Could it be the same for you? A confidence issue as opposed to a weight issue?

 

[t11cky]

Rara Lara, I feel heart broken, I thought you were the one for me, lol
I always feel that all a lady see's with me is now 17 stone of me rather than a decent bloke or maybe I'm not the decent bloke I think I am!! 'All about the climb' You are a really a good looking young lady, I wish I was 10yrs younger and lived in Northern Ireland cos I doubt many blokes (If any) would disagree with me you look a stunner!! I have to admit the weight of a lady doesn't put me off as long as we get on well and enjoy being together!!
Maybe I am wrong but lack of confidence can't effect a lady as much as a man as it is mainly the man who does the opening line!!

 

[t11cky]

Just doing a little more thinking. I am confident man, I used to be a sales rep. and did a good job, but that was selling products and easy to say the good bits and leave the bad bits out, but selling myself I mainly want to make sure a girl knows the bad bits so doesn't dump me after a few days!!

 

[x_claire_x]

Hey, your weight shouldn't matter..if someone is that shallow they aren't worth worrying about anyway! Just be yourself and don't try and silly chat up lines!! Lol..not the way to go...

 

[Rara Lara]

awww damn it lol

Not all ladies look at weight as a problem, obviously some do, but them ladies are usually self obsessed and shallow anyways, so who would want to be with them lol
Weight has never bothered me, poor personal hygiene is my pet hate lol
As we said confidence is the main issue, losing weight will help but if you have no confidence in yourself it makes a huge difference. My hubby is a very confident person, and it does make a difference to me, as i have not got much confidence we kind of compliment each other in a way, but i wish i was more confident, i am hoping when i lose weight it will help, but who knows!
My lack of confidence comes from bullies at school and nasty people i used to call friends. I can act confident, but im not actually confident at all!

Chin up my friend, believe in yourself, take no sh-t, and take every opportunity you can! And in case you wondered, i re-met my hubby on facebook one random evening...i wasn't looking for love xxx

 

[Rara Lara]

Ah i see....don't ever tell them the bad bits hehe

 

[t11cky]

I know everyone says that but sorry I don't believe that one, Unless a bloke is loaded with cash!!
I also don't find it easy with chat up lines and certainly dont come up with corny crap. Just tend to wait until we get chatting about something or other!!

 

[Rara Lara]

If you don't mind me asking, have you always been big? as you said you have had relationships before xx

 

[x_claire_x]

I think we all suffer from confidence problems when we are overweight or don't feel good about ourselves..I would work on getting yourself out there and just try chatting to some girls..just see what works and what you feel comfortable with..

I dated a guy for 10 years who was way heavier than you..I was 10 stone at the time ( currently 11st 9!!!) and weight was not the issue.. I do know how you feel though, chin up tho as your taking all the right steps!

 

[t11cky]

lol, Yeah 3 proper long term relationships,
1) Married for 3yrs then she left after she had an affair!
2) Nice lass, I was asked to marry her and I said no as i wasn't ready for it and it pretty much ended straight away!!
3) Last one ended a few months ago, We got on great around 70% of the time and argued for the other 30% of the time!! Just agreed in the end, we just were'nt meant for each other!!

 

[t11cky]

lol, Yeah 3 proper long term relationships,
1) Married for 3yrs then she left after she had an affair!
2) Nice lass, I was asked to marry her and I said no as i wasn't ready for it and it pretty much ended straight away!!
3) Last one ended a few months ago, We got on great around 70% of the time and argued for the other 30% of the time!! Just agreed in the end, we just were'nt meant for each other!!

Oh yeah, never been skinny! and I can remember hitting 20 stone a long time ago and then lost loads and then put a lot back on then I was put on a medication for my Epilepsy that had a side effect of losing appetite and dropped to 14stone, then medication was changed and then I worked back up to just under 19 stone. Then I joined SW!!

 

[Rara Lara]

Well if you were big when you were with your exes then you know the weight wasn't the problem, you can get ladies!
I was single for pretty much 5 yrs before i met hubby, i had a couple of flings but nothing serious, and i had given up completely, especially after the last fling as i had fallen for him quite a bit. But remember, there is someone out there for everyone, your lady is lost and too stubborn to ask for directions! xxx

 

[t11cky]

Well if you were big when you were with your exes then you know the weight wasn't the problem, you can get ladies!
I was single for pretty much 5 yrs before i met hubby, i had a couple of flings but nothing serious, and i had given up completely, especially after the last fling as i had fallen for him quite a bit. But remember, there is someone out there for everyone, your lady is lost and too stubborn to ask for directions! xxx

Ok, I can get the ladies, just not keep them, Thanks!!! :cry:
lol

 

[Rara Lara]

oh no no no lol don't wind me up lol Im sure you can keep a lady, you just haven't met the right one! xx

 

[dancinglilly]

You will find the right person when you aint looking i did, i met my fella when i was 15st ish. Im now 16st 131/2. He loves me no matter what weight i am. I have never been slim and for 3 years was in a relationship where i was emotionally bullied on a daily basis from my ex about my weight ( stupid to stay with him i know) after that i didnt think anybody would love me for who i am.
My fella is a body builder with the looks to go & could have pretty much who he wanted, but he choose me.
One day you will meet the lady of your dreams and you will know when & i hope it goes well for you because you seem a lovely guy & not bad looking either if you dont mind me saying.
Wishing you well amy x

 

[Korrigan]

I know everyone says that but sorry I don't believe that one, Unless a bloke is loaded with cash!!

Oh tsk... actually I think on balance women are less discriminating than men. My sister-in-law loves the fact my brother is chunky. It makes her feel feminine. That and the fact he's a sweetie and cooks like a dream.

I'm just about old enough to be your mum legally (did you say 32?) and I've been single for the last 10 years. Always been heavier than my ex (9.5st on a heavy day) so always "fat" as far as he was concerned. "No-one can ever love an ugly woman" - it's drilled into my brain and I'm still terrified to even think about getting close to anyone again.

Trust me - the women who don't want to know aren't worth knowing. But are you overlooking the ones who are?

 

[t11cky]

Oh tsk... actually I think on balance women are less discriminating than men. My sister-in-law loves the fact my brother is chunky. It makes her feel feminine. That and the fact he's a sweetie and cooks like a dream.

I'm just about old enough to be your mum legally (did you say 32?) and I've been single for the last 10 years. Always been heavier than my ex (9.5st on a heavy day) so always "fat" as far as he was concerned. "No-one can ever love an ugly woman" - it's drilled into my brain and I'm still terrified to even think about getting close to anyone again.

Trust me - the women who don't want to know aren't worth knowing. But are you overlooking the ones who are?

Thankyou for the compliment, but sorry I am 36!! So less of an age gap!! Also from what I can see on your pic you look very good but 48 (guess) aint that old anyway!!
To be honest all of my serious relationships I have been the younger one, between 4 & 8yrs. Are you saying you are 9 1/2 stone and were heavier than your ex?? If so he must have been either very short or skinny as a bone as I would make you look very skinny, lol