spursgem
Full Member
Hi all :wavey:
I have been a long time lurker of this forum, reading everyone's food diaries, recipes and looking at before and after pics and always felt very envious as i wanted to be a success story but i always found and excuse to put the diet....and most of the time they were pathetic excuses! I suffer from depression and anxiety which to me makes the perfect excuse to emotional eat/binge. 2012 i had a lot of stuff going on in my family life, mainly my mum spreading vicious rumours about me (Yes my mum!!!) which made me reach the lowest point i have every been in my life and subsequently made me the heaviest i have every been.
I didn't know how bad i was until i heard my 9yr old son saying to my 5yr son "i wish mummy would stop eating bad foods so she will be happy and then she would want to take us swimming and she will be smiling again" That was a huge slap in the face to me. There i was crying about how bad my mum was and how she was not like a real mum to me and there were my two boys missing out on their mummy! I sat them down and asked them to tell me how they feel about everything, my depression, my weight, my laziness! after i big promise not to tell them off for saying things they told me that they are sad because their friends mums meet up at the park and they all go out and i don't because i cant face it, The said they want me to enjoy our holiday (Turkey in the summer) but they know i will be sad because i won't go on the water slides because i'm too fat. Then my youngest said to me that he is scared that i will get asked to get off the plane because my fat bum won't fit in the seats!
Why am i doing this to them?? Why am i doing this to myself???
I also suffer from PCOS and Severe IBS (suspected Crohns) but so does a lot of people and they can/are slim and healthy. I need to stop using it as a reason i struggle! I struggle because i allow myself to and i get disheartened very quickly.
I have tried Atkins lost 3 stone - gained it all back, WW for 4 weeks lost 2lb, Slim fast lasted a week, CC lost 1 stone then gave up and gained, SW lost 1.5 stone then gained it all back when i stopped, VLCD lasted 2 days!!, and now back onto CC.
I gained over a stone in weight last year with all the stuff going on but now i know only i can control my weight and emotions (with a little or maybe a lot of help and support from you guys
)
After reading Donnajt's food diary i felt inspired to do my own. Sorry for the long message and if you are still reading thanks
Gem xx
I have been a long time lurker of this forum, reading everyone's food diaries, recipes and looking at before and after pics and always felt very envious as i wanted to be a success story but i always found and excuse to put the diet....and most of the time they were pathetic excuses! I suffer from depression and anxiety which to me makes the perfect excuse to emotional eat/binge. 2012 i had a lot of stuff going on in my family life, mainly my mum spreading vicious rumours about me (Yes my mum!!!) which made me reach the lowest point i have every been in my life and subsequently made me the heaviest i have every been.
I didn't know how bad i was until i heard my 9yr old son saying to my 5yr son "i wish mummy would stop eating bad foods so she will be happy and then she would want to take us swimming and she will be smiling again" That was a huge slap in the face to me. There i was crying about how bad my mum was and how she was not like a real mum to me and there were my two boys missing out on their mummy! I sat them down and asked them to tell me how they feel about everything, my depression, my weight, my laziness! after i big promise not to tell them off for saying things they told me that they are sad because their friends mums meet up at the park and they all go out and i don't because i cant face it, The said they want me to enjoy our holiday (Turkey in the summer) but they know i will be sad because i won't go on the water slides because i'm too fat. Then my youngest said to me that he is scared that i will get asked to get off the plane because my fat bum won't fit in the seats!
Why am i doing this to them?? Why am i doing this to myself???
I also suffer from PCOS and Severe IBS (suspected Crohns) but so does a lot of people and they can/are slim and healthy. I need to stop using it as a reason i struggle! I struggle because i allow myself to and i get disheartened very quickly.
I have tried Atkins lost 3 stone - gained it all back, WW for 4 weeks lost 2lb, Slim fast lasted a week, CC lost 1 stone then gave up and gained, SW lost 1.5 stone then gained it all back when i stopped, VLCD lasted 2 days!!, and now back onto CC.
I gained over a stone in weight last year with all the stuff going on but now i know only i can control my weight and emotions (with a little or maybe a lot of help and support from you guys
)After reading Donnajt's food diary i felt inspired to do my own. Sorry for the long message and if you are still reading thanks
Gem xx
