14 Stone To Lose

Oh blimey PSP! Sounds like a rough time all round. You seem to be handling everything brilliantly. Sending lots of hugs your way though!


And massive congrats on the 4lbs loss in the midst of all the crazy :D
 
What an hard time for you and your family. Be strong. We all have hard times sometimes and when we do we just need to find the strenght and do it. You doing so well. And you weight loss is amazing. You must be so proud of yourself. Im sure are. Congrats and big hug.
 
Well done on the loss hun.

Hope the meeting went ok.

Thinking of you hun xxxx
 
It's Twat, Tracey. He is the only grandparent I have left sadly.

Just a quick check in as I'm on the way to visiting time to find out what's going on today as other than 'he's still confused and distressed' they couldn't tell us any thing else over the phone as we could have been anyone.

Meeting went better than I thought it would but was still horrible. Will explain more when home now I can speak properly about it as it's all sorted. I HAD to go to it though as having it hanging over my head was a horrendous stress on top of everything else.

Thank you all for your best wishes, love to you all xx
 
Glad metting went better than you thought it would hun xxx
 
Sorry to hear about your grandad as well as your other sad news.
hopefully it's someting treatable, sounds like a delirium if he has deteriorated so quickly and is so acutely confused? So hope he settles better soon. sounds like there are ongoing issues also so wishing you strength to help get things resolved xxxx
 
Thank you all :)

Think it could be a urine infection that hasn't helped as there's blood and protein in his urine, however he's had a CT scan and there's damage shown (not least because of his vascular dementia) so the doctor believes he could have had a series of small strokes, not enough to show effects but enough to do damage that have gone together to perhaps cause epilepsy. Dependant on test results that is. They've got him in till at least Friday and on an epilepsy drug so it could have been caught before it's too late.

He was more with it today, still not making sense and saying some v random things - but he was talking and not aggressive or fighting or just begging 'please please please'. like yesterday. He still doesn't recognise us/where he is - but then he had moments of lucidity where he'd say "you're my relation aren't you!' or talk about his room back at the care home. We've told him that he's fallen and hit his head as it's much easier for him to try and understand (he did seem to take a little bit of it in) but he still doesn't get it entirely (and still won't wear clothes!)

He was really quite nice and affectionate today. He stroked my hand, was fascinated by the toggle button on my coat and the faux fur on my hood and he ruffled my hair too. He said I was lovely and amazing as well. I want this Grandad!!!


The meeting was because the care home had contacted safe guarding because they thought we were wasting his money because they had to invoice us (which is a lie - he has petty cash at the home especially for this as we cover everything else - and we replace it every three months!!!!) for his hair cut. Said hair cut being all of five pounds every month.

I honestly don't understand why they've done this. But we had to take all receipts and everything that we'd bought for him to a meeting and have it all dissected whilst they were all snappy and accusing - before they realised that nothing was untoward at all and his finances were fine and we weren't abusing his money.

When things calm down and he's out of hospital - he is NOT staying in that home.
 
omg hun what a horrible meeting you had to go through Sorry. No dont blame you saying he is not staying in there. glad he is a little better and was nice to you-I hope it continues hun . take care xxxx
 
PrincessSparklePants said:
Thank you all :) Think it could be a urine infection that hasn't helped as there's blood and protein in his urine, however he's had a CT scan and there's damage shown (not least because of his vascular dementia) so the doctor believes he could have had a series of small strokes, not enough to show effects but enough to do damage that have gone together to perhaps cause epilepsy. Dependant on test results that is. They've got him in till at least Friday and on an epilepsy drug so it could have been caught before it's too late. He was more with it today, still not making sense and saying some v random things - but he was talking and not aggressive or fighting or just begging 'please please please'. like yesterday. He still doesn't recognise us/where he is - but then he had moments of lucidity where he'd say "you're my relation aren't you!' or talk about his room back at the care home. We've told him that he's fallen and hit his head as it's much easier for him to try and understand (he did seem to take a little bit of it in) but he still doesn't get it entirely (and still won't wear clothes!) He was really quite nice and affectionate today. He stroked my hand, was fascinated by the toggle button on my coat and the faux fur on my hood and he ruffled my hair too. He said I was lovely and amazing as well. I want this Grandad!!! The meeting was because the care home had contacted safe guarding because they thought we were wasting his money because they had to invoice us (which is a lie - he has petty cash at the home especially for this as we cover everything else - and we replace it every three months!!!!) for his hair cut. Said hair cut being all of five pounds every month. I honestly don't understand why they've done this. But we had to take all receipts and everything that we'd bought for him to a meeting and have it all dissected whilst they were all snappy and accusing - before they realised that nothing was untoward at all and his finances were fine and we weren't abusing his money. When things calm down and he's out of hospital - he is NOT staying in that home.
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I don't blame you for not keeping him there! It sounds awful, and it causes you a lot of hassle too!!
It is nice that at least once in grandads life he has been a kind loving grandad, I know it was only once, but at least it's a memory to treasure, even if he was out of it lol!
You are an amazing person, so kind to a man who is clearly not a kind man, you deserve a medal for all the time & effort you put into making sure your mum and grandad are safe & well!
Well done on the 4lb weight loss too, your life sounds so tough right now, and you are managing amazingly, will you ever get a day off to have some me time?
Big hugs, wish I could come help you out for a day let you have a break xx
 
Poor you but dear you need to think about it a little. Old people can be mean and say everything they want.
And others will belive. Now - you had shown that you did nothing wrong and they are happy with it. Im as an outsider would say it was importat. They also have , Im sure, plenty of cases where money is taken and used. You can often read about it in newspaper how older people are robed of money by relatives.

I can understand why you want to change home. I recall you had this idea before. But and thats big but -
Your grandad is ill. He cant remember. Taking him to new home may be wrong for him. In there at least everyone knows him and what happened and are awear, plus he can remember the area. Even if he cant say you where hes room is , deep down there is still can be so memorys that will make him more home or even help memory to return. In new home he will have to start from 0

It is hard for you right now, so take your time. There is no hurry and you can always move him to new home when he gets better. Grief is jard enough and extra problems is something you dont want.

I was thinkingg how will he react when you said he lost his memory and now seeing hes being so kind to you, means he always did love you and cared. He must be so confused and scared right now and to get so good contact with you is mirracle.

What goes around comes around. Im so happy that you will have this little light memory of him. And who knows maybe he will stay this way even when he gets better. Fingers crossed for you hun. You are wonderful lady and you have lot to deal with atm, there for I sugest you to let him stay for old home for now. Be strong hun, sending you all my best
 
Oh wow. What a horrible experience for you with social services. They could have least treated you with a little more kindness, innocent until proven guilty, right??

And although in pants circumstances what a lovely memory to have of your grandad, there's a lovely person in there. That will hopefully help in the future!

Such admiration for you PSP, I really do.
 
Destamia said:
Poor you but dear you need to think about it a little. Old people can be mean and say everything they want. And others will belive. Now - you had shown that you did nothing wrong and they are happy with it. Im as an outsider would say it was importat. They also have , Im sure, plenty of cases where money is taken and used. You can often read about it in newspaper how older people are robed of money by relatives. I can understand why you want to change home. I recall you had this idea before. But and thats big but - Your grandad is ill. He cant remember. Taking him to new home may be wrong for him. In there at least everyone knows him and what happened and are awear, plus he can remember the area. Even if he cant say you where hes room is , deep down there is still can be so memorys that will make him more home or even help memory to return. In new home he will have to start from 0 It is hard for you right now, so take your time. There is no hurry and you can always move him to new home when he gets better. Grief is jard enough and extra problems is something you dont want. I was thinkingg how will he react when you said he lost his memory and now seeing hes being so kind to you, means he always did love you and cared. He must be so confused and scared right now and to get so good contact with you is mirracle. What goes around comes around. Im so happy that you will have this little light memory of him. And who knows maybe he will stay this way even when he gets better. Fingers crossed for you hun. You are wonderful lady and you have lot to deal with atm, there for I sugest you to let him stay for old home for now. Be strong hun, sending you all my best
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Hmm I hadn't thought of this, I think moo is right about keeping him in this home xx
 
I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this, Kym. You're such a lovely person, doing everything you do for someone who is, to put it politely, difficult, and then have your integrity questioned. I'm glad you were able to sort it out. I don't know what the answer is about the home. I can totally understand why you want to have nothing more to do with them, but can also see the points made by Destamia about the potential effect of a change on your Granddad. Difficult one. Take care, hon - stay strong. :) xx
 
Thank you loves, I do appreciate your advice honestly. I do have serious concerns with their standard of care too as I've mentioned things before on here. Lots of little things add up and over time it's not the home it was back 2 and a half years ago where for the first year (ish) it was absolutely superb. The staff seem to change monthly too - there is a massive turn over of staff. One of the cleaners told us that the manager does not stand up for her staff or help them - she just passes things on from above and expects them to jump to it- and blames them when they can't.

It also doesn't help that we found out today that they should have sent someone in the ambulance with him to meet us at the hospital. I also got a call telling me that I had to be aware that the payments for his room/care still HAD to be made despite him not being at the home. I'd already made the payment as usual but they hadn't checked up on it. They didn't even ask how he was or for any information and pretty much hung up straight after. They make me so angry in their lack of basic care - especially considering that it's over £500 a week!
 
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