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70th Birthday ... Advice please

#1
I have been 100% for almost 5 weeks since the very beginning really and i had no intentions of eating until 14th dec onwards which would be 12weeks on the diet and i was going to do ss+ HOWEVER....

it is my uncles 70th on 5th november and they are having a party at a turkish grill restaurant and obviously my husband and i are expected to be there.

we did consider missing the whole thing but this uncle and his family have really been there for us alot in recent times and i love them to bits and it feels disrespectful not to go especially because they have said they will not celebrate without us.

I know that if i go i will not be able to do my shakes in front of them... it just will be awkward and there will be a whole load of other people who just will not understand.

i could easily stick to grilled chicken and salad.. because thats the kind of place it is. but im fighting with myself because i just dont know if its the right decision.

the party is on the 5th of nov and by then i would have been 100% for 7 weeks! also... im quite frightened about the idea of eating after such a long time. ive considered pretending to be sick on the day...! but then my husband would be expected to go... if we dont go then i know that my in laws will be the first to tell them all the reason why!


i know alot of people would say that birthdays and special occs will come and go... but if i were to miss this party i dont think i will be forgiven and that means alot more to me. and its not just any birthday.

any advice would be much appreciated.
 
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#2
If it's that important to you Hun and you don't feel like you can not eat or explain then go have chicken and salad. As long as it doesn't tip you off the wagon and you get straight back to it it won't do that much harm. X you've got to feel comfortable with it whatever you do x
 
#3
I had this experience to face last night. I was invited to a wedding reception. So I had a pack before I left and lots of water so I felt full. It was a buffet with all the usual naughty foods and at the very end of the table were cupcakes. I didn't even go and look at the closely :eek: so I went up and put a few things I don't like on a plate. I went back to the table and just left it, to my surprise everyone was so busy eating their own food and talking they didn't take any notice of my food. Later on my friends husband said do don't you want any more, I said no and he said pass it over here I will have it. So no food was wasted and it was a tiny amount.

I also passed on the wedding cake as that went around. If it's a sit down party have a salad with chicken or maybe fish and if there is something else on the plate you can't have then maybe eat around it.

I understand your reasons for not wanting to tell people other people can be very quick to judge. After all you are only doing something to become healthier and happier. Good luck and above all enjoy yourself. I survived last night and I was dreading it but it was only four hours to get through and if I can avoid cupcakes! anyone can :):)
 
#4
I think the best idea is to have chicken and salad and it won't do any harm to you and won't offend anybody. I had a birthday to go to last month. It was a buffet and much easier to avoid eating but I still ate a bit. And then we got invited for cooked breakfast the next day. So then I ate too. And I'm not sorry. I think these family occasions are important.
 
#5
On this type of occasion, when family is so important, I think you are better to regret having a bit of chicken than regret not going. You are very focused at the moment and i believe with the support of yourself, husband and all of us here, you will get right up on the wagon again. I remember you said before your holiday that you don't drink so it should be easy for you to get a jug of water and keep glugging away at it.
I had a 50th party buffet at friends house on my first week of SS and I just busied myself chatting round my friends, nobody noticed I hadn't even lifted a plate!

Good luck

M x
 
#6
honestly, lovely - i'm as obsessive as they come about SS, but even i would have chicken and salad in this situation. I'd probably eat as little as i could get away with, and tell people i was feeling a bit poorly. Remember to avoid onion and tomato in your salad.
 

andju

I lurve lurve lurve bars
#7
Why dont you do ss+ that day,have a good read of the book portion sizes etc maybe have a look in the supermarket and get an idea of what the amount of chicken looks like and have chicken and salad.The chicken is quite a good amount but the salad is absolutely weeney so thats where you need to watch it.As long as you treat it as part of the diet you should be fine and forget about it the next day xx
 
#8
I'd go, and enjoy it! Stick to ss + so yup chicken and salad leaves you can't go wrong. Just check the ss + veg/salad you can have and you'll stay in ketosis. Onion, peppers or tomatoes are a no no, and ask for you're salad without dressing/oil/lemon juice xc good luck and have fun x
 
#9
I guess i have a different opinion than most here. It is very hard for me to eat anything and not want more. I would drink my pack before I go to the dinner and if anyone asks why you aren't eating, tell them you are doing it for your health and they will understand and probably be very supportive of you for being so strong. I slipped and had chicken for a few nights and it only made me want more and more to eat. I figured there are no carbs that it wouldn't
"hurt" anything, but it hurt my momentum and was very hard for me to get back to SS. Good luck whatever you decide.
 
#10
I went to a wedding 2 weeks into my diet, I took the complete day off and I had everything 3 course meal, glass of wine and even a bacon buttie on the night :-/ but my point is I got back on ss the next morning and I very wasn't a stablished in the diet as it had only been 2 weeks, I got right back on it with no bother, u r obviously determend and I have all faith u will get back on,

now of course I am not saying have what I had, because that was my choice and it was a set meal so I couldn't order chicken salad or maybe I would have.. Maybe not lol

I have a meal coming up as its my 5th wedding anniversary tomorrow and my hubby has surprised me with a night in a hotel a meal and tickets to see Alan Carr, I'm taking the day off again but WILL get straight back on it :)

Enjoy ur night and don't let ur in laws get the better of u, go.. Eat.. And be happy I'm sure ur in for some compliments too :)

Ps I still lost 6lbs after the wedding it was over a two week process but I was very happy with that! xx
 
#11
thank you for the advice guys. i guess i knew what i would do before i asked but i just needed to know that i would be doing the sensible thing. my cdc has said since last week that i shud add some SS+ meals but i guess i will just for that day only and get back onto SS. i think it will also do me some good because i am getting to the point where i cant stop thinking about food and maybe that will calm me for another month or so! i am going to be on this diet for a very long time as i have 10st to lose and if i dont SS+ once in a while i am sure to go mad.

i know others have suggested that i shud go and have shakes etc and explain i am doing it for my health... i really dont see myself being brave enough to say that in front of about 40 people! and considering i am so close to uncle and aunty they for sure will notice that i am not eating! lol i am asian!!! thats what asians do.. they eat alot and feed eachother alot! believe me they will notice.

and i know that the majority of the people there will probably make the usual jokes that i would lose weight if i ate less etc! something like that would probably make me feel worse and i will probably come home crying and stuff my face with cake.

anyway thank you for your advice. and to those of you have been so strong well done to you. i dont feel bad coz i will SS+ so im not even cheating... but i just feel like im cheating coz i havent had food in a long time!
 


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