A bit of a panic!!

[pancras]

I have not yet told any of my friends that I am doing lighter life. I was hoping stupid I know, that they would realise upon seeing me that I was losing weight, however 3 stone lost and nobody has noticed.

I have a friend who I normally meet every couple of months for a meal and a drink ring up in a state and who is on her way down looking to go and eat and drown her sorrows. Instead of telling her the truth I just said come down.

I am now feeling really bad for not telling her straight what is going on with me and feeling a bit scared that she may not be as understanding as I hope about LL.

 

[Tange]

Hi There,

Deep breath and don't panic, I am sure she will understand. If she does have an opinion on it, the best way is to hear her out and then tell her your side. You are doing this for you remember. It was one of the hardest things I had to so was go out with friends when they were eating and drinking and I sat there with my soda water. It gets easier, in the end I was out partying with everyone and no one noticed I wasn't drinking.

Good luck. Oh and as for the weightloss one of the directors asked me after 4 stone if I had changed my hair WTF??? People will start noticing soon don't you worry.

 

[lucylastic]

Hi Pancras
Just a thought - if she is in a state anyway, she may well not take you being on LL as well as she would under other circumstances, particularly if she is expecting to go out and drink and eat loads with you. I think you have to remember that, and if she is dismissive, stay strong and understand it's more down to her state of mind right now.
Good luck, I hope it goes ok, and I hope you manage to cheer her up as well

 

[pancras]

Thanks guys, I am just waiting for her to turn up, so fingers crossed. I think she will be alright I think that I am just putting my guilt onto her.

 

[Blonde Logic]

Pancras, it took 5 stone, and me being away on a months holiday before anyone noticed! But when they did - there was a huge BOOM as everyones jaws collectivly hit their desks!

It was GREAT< and worth the wait!

Goodl uck with your friend.

 

[Foxtrot]

It doesn't matter a jot what other people think, you're not doing it to them, their bodies or their lifestyle no matter who they are. If she has an opinion on what you're doing just nod and smile, unless it's positive and then just nod and smile and say thank you.

She will probably be too wrapped up in her own problems anyway.

You are doing fab!!! Keep it up!!

And the noticing thing seems to come in waves. I'm 2.5 down and the only ones who've noticed is my hairdresser, and he's attentive like that, and my accountant.

 

[slendablenda]

Well done Pancras

You are just at the stage when people start to notice and comment. Somme will notice, but don't know whatto say, some are envious, some think you might be ill, some just don't notice, others are so wrapped up in themselves they don't notice what's going on with you.
Keep going for yourself. You're doing so well.

 

[daisydoll]

hi there
how did it go with your friend?
daisy x

 

[pancras]

Hi Guys
Well my panicking was not neccessary.:copon: My friend was so consumed with her own grief, she did not want to go out and eat, the first time I have ever seen that in the 15 years I have known her. Most of my time was spent mopping up her tears and telling her everything was going to be alright. I have to say I got quite angry as the cad she has picked up is the worst kind and would have been thrown out with all his bullshit a year ago by me.

Anyway a stop at the chip shop was enough for her and not one question about how I was not eating never came up. Once again thanks for all the support it was really appreciated.

 

[Poppysparkle]

Great news - and this really underlines the fact that people are often so self-obsessed (to varying degrees of course), that all our worrying about what they will say or how will react is just needless anxiety! They often times are interested briefly, but then return to their own problems!

People ask what friends say when I go out and am not eating/drinking, but honestly, they are curious for about five minutes before returning to their normal lives and not giving me another thought! ;-)

Sounds like you are a good friend though, and very patient - well done you!