A rambling rant

BlodynAur

Full Member
I go through phases of following SW amazingly well and then other times, I pig out like you wouldn't believe. When I say phases, I literally mean every other week or so...

This time round, I'd seen a horrible picture of myself and had decided this was it, time to lose weight. I'd made a rewards chart and was so excited for it all. I managed about a week being good but then one day, the kitchen was an absolute mess. I should explain, I live in a student house with 4 guys, one of whom is my boyfriend. The other 3 are the messiest, laziest, most disgusting people I've ever met. Don't get me wrong, they're lovely to talk to and they're funny etc, but arghhhhhhh they make such a mess!! When they cook, they leave the pots and pans to rot on the side for ages (we have a damn dishwasher for god sake) then they stack the plates and cutlery with them once they're done!! The next day, they use more stuff while they still haven't washed the stuff from the day before, and then they begin to use the stuff that I've been washing as I go - meaning I have absolutely zero kitchen stuff to use.

I've tried buying my own stuff, but they use them too!! I'd keep stuff in my room but there's just no room for anything. I've cleaned their dirty dishes before just so that I could cook but it takes such an effort and why should I clean their stuff? And anyway, when I did that the whole kitchen was a mess anyway - I don't know anyone who likes cooking surrounded by horrendous worktops.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that all this lead to a takeaway. And then another. And another. And another. Before uni I was never a takeaway kind of person, but I'd also never lived in a place where the kitchen is this terrible. I can't believe I've had a takeaway 5 days in row!! FIVE!! The first night I was good, Indian takeaway - lots of rice, no naan or anything. But as the days have gone on, my choices have gotten worse. I'm currently sat next to a pizza box. Pizza Hut, cheesy bites, all to myself. I'm disgusted with myself!

Gah. It's bugging me more that I'm using the kitchen as an excuse. I know I could be eating healthy around it, somehow. It just takes more effort. Effort that I really should be putting into my health.

It's funny because the reason I chose to rant about this here was because I saw yet another awful picture of myself. But before you suggest it, I have put one as my background on my phone - doesn't seem to work. Motivates me for a few days then nothing...

Okay, rant over. I just needed to let that all out....
 
Bless you, student digs must be awful (I didn't go to uni so I never lived in a shared house). You need to rant sometimes but it sounds like you really do want to lose the weight and that should be motivation in itself - nothing feels so good (or tastes so good!) as losing the weight feels - its amazing!

I'd have a word with the rest of the house mates and reiterate how it's making you feel - how about limiting a section of the kitchen for your things and that has to be kept clean and tidy? I don't really know what else to suggest but as SW relies so heavily on proper cooking, you're gonna need a kitchen at some point so you need to lay some rules with the messy ones - why should you suffer for their laziness?
 
Hiya
I too am a student but fortunately dont have to live with anyone other than my messy pig OH- that said, I can't understand how one man can use so much crockery! I thought you were going to say how hard it is fitting cooking in between lectures and library trips!
The only thing that I can think of that might help is starting with a clean kitchen and batch cooking then freezing? Then you might get away with less cleaning- completely unfair on you and understand the rant!
Rosie x
 
I remember those days and it is frustrating - I used to try and use that as an excuse for finding it hard to diet, as well as thinking if only I didn't socialise quite so much then I could easily lose weight!! Well 13 years on I am now married and a working mum with 2 young children and barely socialise and still find it just as hard to lose weight - my excuses these days are mainly centred around being so busy. I suppose what I am thinking is that we can always easily find things about our situation that get in the way but if we are in the right mindset then it can be done. As well as batch cooking and freezing lots of goodies so you don't have to enter the kitchen very often maybe you could buy in some cooked meats and pre-prepared salads or even some convenience foods such as quorn Spag Bol is only 1.5 syns - great with one of those packets of steam fresh frozen veg - then you can bypass all the dirty crockery and head straight for the microwave! x
 
I've lived in a shared house and know how difficult things can be. What I would suggest is that you call a house meeting and introduce a cleaning rota. Write up a timetable and allocate everyone a turn to do the washing up, hoovering, dusting, tidying etc etc. The person who doesn't do it when it's their turn gets a fine! It worked for me anyway.
 
What you need here is a bit of lateral thinking. If confronting a problem head on doesn't work, then work your way around it. The one thing you cannot do is to make other people change their behaviour - it takes time and trouble and effort and almost never works. You get cross, they get cross, and that's a lot of wasted energy. The only think you can change is your reaction to their behaviour.

This is what I would do. Actually, it is what I DID do - about 40 years ago in a very similar situation when sharing a flat in London. Take all the things which are your own property out of the kitchen. If you can't find anywhere to store them, give them to your mum, or to a charity shop. Leave the kitchen and never go back into it unless you need some water from the tap. It's their kitchen now, and you have no responsbilities there.

Now, about feeding yourself. I think that perhaps they other posters here are being a bit optimistic with the idea of batch cooking and freezing - I bet the others would eat everything you cooked and sTILL leave you with the washing up!!

You don't need hot cooked food to be on SW. And you certainly don't need takeaways which are horrendously expensive apart from anything else. It is a myth that good food has to be hot food. You can create interesting meals with salads, cold meats, etc - think picnic food.

Can you organise a small portable fridge or a cool box in your room? That would mean you wouldn't need to use the fridge in the kitchen.

When I did this, 40 years ago, I didn't tell anyone what I was doing, I didn't moan or rant, I just removed myself from the situation. It worked for me!
 
Thank you for all your suggestions, I feel much better after having a good rant. Unfortunately, I tried the cleaning rota idea last term - I was the only one who kept to it. I can't exactly create a fine system when I'm the only one who'd stick to it!! I've also tried asking them to keep the kitchen clean and maybe wash as they go which doesn't even take long and they do it for a couple of days before just forgetting we'd ever discussed anything.

Batch-cooking is also a no-go, there isn't enough freezer or fridge space. Paper plates and cups is genius though, I'm sure I could find cheap ones. But yeah, I think I'm going to have to just live with it for the time being. Only a couple more months left here, then after the Summer I'm ditching this house for a flat with my boyfriend. Can't bloody wait!!
 
I can totally sympathise, DH used to house-share with 4 other students, the place was a disgrace!

Could you buy yourself a cheap kettle and microwave for your bedroom? Make a small 'kitchen' area on top of a set of drawers, a plastic storage box to keep the food in, maybe keep a couple of cups and plates, etc, in there so you don't have to venture into the kitchen at all, completely divorce yourself from the kitchen entirely! :)

Buy fruit and keep it in your room, look here for ideas on what can be made with a kettle and a microwave- http://www.minimins.com/syn-values/70166-syn-free-low-syn-ready-meals.html (go towards the end of the thread for the more up-to-date stuff!) and good old basics like jacket potato and baked beans/Spaghetti/tuna, etc. It's only for a few months, so it wouldn't be too bad and you can use the microwave and kettle in your new flat too.

We just had a fridge, a kettle and a toastie maker when we rented a room in a house one summer, they were our only cooking facilities, but we survived it. :)

Maybe save the money you would be using have 5 takeaways in a week to go out once a week (ie- a Sunday Carvery) and have something nicer, but low syn.

Whatever you do, don't let them beat you, find a way around it. Good luck. x
 
I really understand what you're going through here. I was at uni for 3 years recently and lived in halls of residence for the whole 3 years. I lived with strangers every year and most of the time they were men who probably never bought washing up liquid in their life. We were forever receiving threats from the managers saying that if 'we' don't clean up 'our' kitchen with the piles of washing up (that often had furry black and blue bits on :sigh:) we'd be fined. I guess I was relatively lucky because I had lockable cupboards and I could prove that none of the pile belonged to me as my plates had different patterns. But I also get where you're coming from with regards losing weight. None of my flatmates knew what I was doing and I wanted to keep it that way. Whenever I bought fruit for the fridge, they'd help themselves to it. If I made a large batch to freeze, they'd help themselves to that too to such an extent that I had to buy myself two mini-fridges to keep some of my stuff in (complaints to management didn't do anything because they couldn't do anything about it other than warn them). I used to cook my stuff before they would come into the kitchen and if their stuff was ever in my way I'd just pick up their pile of dirty dishes and put them outside their room door. That way, they had to at least acknowledge that there was a lot, especially if they knocked into it and it smashed! But that was bad of me... naughty me... but it made them wash it all up though!!! :D Sorry I couldn't be of much more help but why don't you try suggesting that you all pitch in for a shopping fund and all eat the same meal each night (cooked by people on a rota basis and therefore washed up straight away on a rota basis?) If that's not going to work then perhaps somebody else has some more constructive ideas? Good luck with it all and enjoy your time at uni as it really does fly by too fast!
 
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