A Whole Lot of Fear...

Hi everyone

Firstly, a bit about me... I'm 27 and from London in the UK. My current weight is 11st 11lbs, and I'm 5'3. I am looking, I guess, to hit around 9.5st, so around 2.5st to lose. I have moved onto a 1,300 calorie diet, as the 1,600 recommended by The Biggest Loser Cookbook (UK) for my size wasn't working.

I've signed up to really nice spa and gym complex (more for the spa than the gym to be honest!). With my sign up, I had four free sessions with personal trainers. I had one of these half hour taster sessions last week, and two this week. My muscles are tired and sore. (I hadn't been exercising much before I started doing these).

The PTs believe in metabolic circuits, which are apparently really good for me (I have PCOS), and have been recommended by the onsite naturopath. But I find them incredibly painful, and according to my KiFit bodybugg, I burn less calories in those 30 minute sessions than I do by working out with a Davina McCall, Zumba or Jillian Michaels DVD.

I am feeling really miserable about these sessions. All I seem to gain from them is an increasing sense of not being good enough, and a fear of the next one. I am supposed to have a 30 minute session at lunchtime today, but I woke up at 6am feeling really panicky (dry mouth, spinning head, emotional, irritable, heartburn etc) about it.

I am of low mood at the moment, and am taking supplements recommended by the naturopath to try and help, so maybe it's just the general low mood that's making me feel so afraid of PT. But I'm not sure... Up until around four years ago, I had bulimia / anorexia issues and the last time I had a Personal Trainer (i.e. 4.5 years ago), those food issues were exacerbated. I guess I am scared that they will come back as an 'easy' way to lose weight, and feel like I fit in.

I'm fine with the gym itself, as it's a hotel gym so very quiet, and I'd happily(-ish!!! ;-) ) work out on my own with the cardio machines, etc. It's just when I'm in a one-on-one with a trainer that I start to feel frightened and panicked. I guess my past experiences with food issues probably play into this a lot.

Sorry that my first post here is such a ramble. I acknowledge that I need help on my journey, and so I just wanted to reach out into the ether.

Thanks for 'listening'
Jessica
 
Hi Jessica, welcome to Minimins :)

I don't think I'd ever enjoy having a personal trainer either, so I can completely identify with that fear - I'd be feeling it too. Personally I think it's important to find exercise that you enjoy doing - it shouldn't be a chore and certainly shouldn't be something that makes you anxious or upset.
 
Thanks, Rigby. Perhaps I just have to accept I'm not the type to want a personal trainer! And that doesn't make me any less good at working to lose weight...

Thanks for the welcome :)
 
Thanks, Rigby. Perhaps I just have to accept I'm not the type to want a personal trainer! And that doesn't make me any less good at working to lose weight...

Thanks for the welcome :)

It certainly doesn't make you any less good! I'd hate having a personal trainer, I wouldn't like being told what to do by someone like that and it just wouldn't suit me, and yet others couldn't be without that motivation and source of advice. Go with what works for you - if that's running or swimming then that's great, if it's exercise classes then go for it, if it's exercise DVDs in your living room then that's just as good. I think that exercise is such a healthy habit for life, whether you're wanting to lose weight or not, and I think it's important to enjoy it and not be put off by bad experiences :)
 
I hated my PT sessions, even though they are meant to be personalised no-one knows you better than yourself. Even if you do 30 minutes of light exercise a day its better than nothing and your health is improving even if the weight comes off slower. Weight loss journeys are all about finding whats best for you, when you lose the weight (and you will!) if you was to ever gain half a stone or something again then you will know by then what works best for you. Don't give up heart, you've made lots of positive steps so far and the panicky and anxious feelings are normal.

If you ever need to rant, your mini's are here xxx
 
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