.. and again


Gold Member
So here I am, again.

I think this must be attempt #75376 but I’m back and I’m absolutely on it with a vengeance.

Starting new diary so I’m humble and not tempted to start referring back to this being the time I’ve really changed for the better, as a diary from only 7 months ago suggested that and I was absolutely wrong.

Back at over 225lbs again and feeling disgusting with no clothes fitting me at all, having had to buy size 18 work trousers and size 16 jeans, neither of which are loose, and with my knee popping when I kneel down which is utterly horrifying.

I just have to get back to this. I don’t know if I’ll manage to maintain, or if this really is the last time, but I think all I can do is commit to the loss and take one day at a time.

Text a new consultant and hope to see her this week, and we’ll see where we get to. Plan for tomorrow is 4 shakes (I’ve got leftover packs, obv) and 5 litres of water and repeat for the rest of the week. No plans where I have to eat, working from home all week, and NO excuses. Days 1-4 are hard, and I don’t feel properly in the swing of it til after two weeks, but I really feel I have no choice but to get on with it. I need to lose 4 stone, and that’ll take me 14 weeks, so that’s 29/01 with a few weeks to go til my 34th birthday.
Actually, after weighing myself it seems likely I’m actually closer to 228/229 so we’re realistically talking more like 16 weeks to lose a terrifying 60lbs. Again. That’s ok. Goal date of the weekend before my birthday I guess.

I know most of my nice clothes fit about a stone or so before that, so by New Year (10 weeks away) I should be feeling good.

Feeling like I should be feeling down but just thinking I need to get on with it and trying to feel positive about that. In 6 weeks I’ll feel so much better, in 10 I’ll start to feel more and more like myself and in 14-16 I’ll be there. Not long at all in grand scheme of life, though I do wish I hadn’t spent 12 years on the same cycle.. Anyway, Day 1 again tomorrow. Better turn Day 0.
Day 1 and feeling like I’m on track.

I get feelings creeping in re this feeling like a long old task yet again but I’m trying to remember that after a couple of weeks it actually does feel easy and like the norm most of the time.