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Anyone putting off their life?

S: 19st12.5lb C: 15st12lb G: 13st7lb BMI: 32.8 Loss: 4st0.5lb(20.29%)
#1
Out with friends the weekend. One is a little overweight and madly in love, the other is anorexic (really, not being sarcastic) and out flaunting her body to everyone who will see. I'm a size 18 and just find that I'm hiding myself behind the two of them, feeling fat and ugly, wishing I could just lose weight. I've already lost two stone, about a year and a half ago. Know I should just get past feeling like this, but part of me is just pushing that I'll grow in confidence when I lose the weight, but I also know that I need to change how I feel about myself to feel better in general.
I really don't like the way I look and have sort of made up my mind that nobody else could find me attractive either. Any advice for getting past this? Feel like life is passing me by!:eek:
 
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Kater-tater

Gold Member
S: 12st5lb G: 8st13lb
#2
i feel life is passing be by to but not because of my weight.
Honestly looks really dont matter, anyone who is half decent cares about the person. When you like/love someone any of their 'faults' magicly fade and you just cant see them anymore or they become positives.
Of course people will find you attractive!
If you look on here, most people who have partners including myself met them when we where bigger, it didnt stop anyone meeting people.
Do it just for you, as an achievement for yourself. not in the hope it will change you as a person, as it wont. And im sure that the person you are doesnt need changing, just needs a hug =]
*hug*
 
S: 19st0lb C: 15st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.5 Loss: 3st4lb(17.29%)
#3
I can totally sympathise with this! I have a fiance who loves me no matter how big or small I am- and genuinely finds me beautiful at whatever size- he's had me at a size 24 down to a 14 BUT it is about me and how I feel about myself.
I do feel better about myself as I lose weight and feel more confident when I am out (Had stopped doing a lot of things which meant people would see me when I was at my biggest) but I know my confidence issues are something I will always have to work on, just like my issues with food (Have been bullemic and an emotional binge eater, as well as starving myself but never been the low weight to be officially anorexic at different times in my life) Having gone through a weight loss journey, I have really looked at myself and learned a lot about my triggers and feel like now I have done that self-evaluation process, I will be able to keep on top of it as I now admit my issues. I am going to ask for some CBT when I am at target to make sure I stay there as I know I will be tempted to go lower and could also gain weight again if my emotions get out of control. For teh first time though, I feel in control and feel like I have a good relationship with food and my relationship with myself is gettig there too.

Losing weight does help with confidence but you do have to work on the head/ emotional bit too.

Good luck hun xxxx
 
S: 19st12.5lb C: 15st12lb G: 13st7lb BMI: 32.8 Loss: 4st0.5lb(20.29%)
#4
Ah thanks for the posts people - know I'm sounding sad, but determined to change things. Joining SW on Wed, but just aware that I'm hiding behind the weight too. Haven't really been much lower than this since my early teens, it's like puberty again!!! Gonna have to learn to feel "safe" as I peel the layers away. If you know what I mean!
This site really feels like it's gonna be a life saver!
 
S: 19st0lb C: 15st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.5 Loss: 3st4lb(17.29%)
#5
There is a LOT of support on here when you need it and I would really recommend starting a diary as it helps me no end xx
 
S: 19st12.5lb C: 15st12lb G: 13st7lb BMI: 32.8 Loss: 4st0.5lb(20.29%)
#6
Will do. You look fantastic Debbie, that's what I'm aiming for - a 14, any less and I'd look ill!
I heard a sport's psychologist say today that the competitor's most important preparation is for the top six inches - well here I go!!!
 
S: 19st0lb C: 15st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.5 Loss: 3st4lb(17.29%)
#7
Thanks hun. I am aiming for a size 12 which will hopefully shrink these 'wobbly bits'. I still want my curves though x
 

evathediva

Full Member
S: 18st0lb C: 18st0lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#8
hey

u sound like me there i have one friend okay weight one anna really like 6 stone and im the big fat one and im fed up of feeling like that so this time im gonna do it i start on tuesday did try atkins and slim fast nearly passed out so forget them after looking at debbiemillers pics we can do it she is looking great xxxx
 
S: 19st0lb C: 15st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.5 Loss: 3st4lb(17.29%)
#9
Oh Eva, that's so sweet- don't always feel it but the positivity on this forum really helps. I hope you find success too xx
 

evathediva

Full Member
S: 18st0lb C: 18st0lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#10
thanks hun hopefully u will be around as so friendly how many years or months did it take u to get to u size now ? xx
 
S: 19st0lb C: 15st10lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.5 Loss: 3st4lb(17.29%)
#11
9 months on plan now :) Another 33lbs to goal so am hoping maybe Septemberish but am now laid back about it. As long as I stick to plan, I know the weight will come off but know the last bit is the slowest x
 
S: 21st7lb C: 21st7lb G: 17st12lb BMI: 42 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#13
Debbie - your weight loss is amazing and you look fantastic! I am currently a size 26 and have secretly been thinking that I could never get down to a 16/18 but your pictures have made me realise that it is possible.

Thank you so much - I was feeling a bit low about my slow weight loss but you have absolutely inspired me and your pictures have given a me a visual kick up the bum because now I know that losing nearly a 100lbs is totally achievable - thank you again
:):):)
 

melarnz

Silver Member
S: 17st12lb C: 17st12lb G: 9st13lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#14
100lbs really is achievable. Just keep planning and plodding on. Don't let lfe get in the way, incorporate life into your plan!! it's amazing how the cloud lifts once you feel in control, and you see results. You don't need to be a size 14 for this to happen, just a couple of weeks on plan, and you will feel better.

Good luck x
 
S: 16st10lb C: 14st11lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 33.4 Loss: 1st13lb(11.54%)
#15
Out with friends the weekend. One is a little overweight and madly in love, the other is anorexic (really, not being sarcastic) and out flaunting her body to everyone who will see. I'm a size 18 and just find that I'm hiding myself behind the two of them, feeling fat and ugly, wishing I could just lose weight. I've already lost two stone, about a year and a half ago. Know I should just get past feeling like this, but part of me is just pushing that I'll grow in confidence when I lose the weight, but I also know that I need to change how I feel about myself to feel better in general.
I really don't like the way I look and have sort of made up my mind that nobody else could find me attractive either. Any advice for getting past this? Feel like life is passing me by!:eek:
Hi there,
i know how you feel when it seems like all your friends look perfect. i've felt that way too, it's like "why bother with hair and make-up?i'll still be fat. but we all have to start somewhere. i've started giving myself different sort of rewards. instead of a chinese takeaway for a good loss, its now a pedicure lol. it might be a long road to get where you want to be, but try not to compare yourself to your friends. you're fine being yourself, just tweak the way you look. good luck with your weigh-in x
 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
S: 14st5lb
#16
For years I wouldn't buy anything to wear, because I was going "to slim into" my wardrobe of clothes! It was only when I admitted defeat and bought some new stuff (size 18 from Asda,) that I actually felt better and finally found the motivation to start doing something about it. So treat yourself to something new,it needn't be expensive, just a new colour, (NOT BLACK!) and then sit down and make a list of all your good points. Again not all to do with appearance. But lovely eyes/great sense of humour/loyal friend etc. Then determine to show off at least one of them every day, and at night write down what you've acheived. Before you know it you will find the positive side of yourself beginning to take over. Good luck!
 
S: 21st7lb C: 21st7lb G: 17st12lb BMI: 42 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#17
Most of my friends and colleagues are slim (a lot of my colleagues teach beauty therapy so put a lot of effort into looking both slim and gorgeous) and I used to feel the way you do all the time when I was at work. I was always feeling inadequate and frumpy. I would also spend time dreaming about all the things I would do if (notice if, not when) I would lose weight.

Two things happened to change my mindset. I was asked to take on quite a high profile and challenging project because my manager felt that I was the only one with the experience and (wait for it!) the only one who had the confidence to get on with most people. The other thing that made me really made me stop and think about things was spending a lunch time listening to these stick thin beauties moaning about their skin and their thighs and how their bums looked. Moaning is the wrong word because they are genuinely unhappy about the way they look. One colleague's husband hasn't seen her naked for over ten years because she is so ashamed of her stretch marks!

I realised that being thin or fat (or even enormous in my case) doesn't make you confident or unconfident - it's how your head feels that makes the difference. In the three months since that conversation I have lost just under two stone - still have seven to go but it's a bl**dy good start, started swimming and booked a holiday, something I haven't done for years because it was something I was going to do when I was slim.

I have also bought some lovely lingerie, as opposed to functional underwear, and I wear it - and funnily enough I have noticed on the days I wear it men flirt with me, something which hasn't happened for years! Either my lingerie is impregnated with hormones that attracts men or I walk in a way that says "Yes, I'm sexy!" :8855::8855::8855:. Either way I'm having a great time.

I guess it's not about what your body looks like, it's how you feel - so pop on the sexy underwear, stick a smile on your face and sashay your way into the pub next time you go out!
 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
S: 14st5lb
#18
Oh yes I have to agree with the last post! I got some M&S bras from ebay (you can get new ones cheap!) and had a secret smile every time I wore one to work! ;)
 
S: 19st12.5lb C: 15st12lb G: 13st7lb BMI: 32.8 Loss: 4st0.5lb(20.29%)
#19
Wow wow wow ladies!!! Riddled with doubts about the future - as I said going through delayed puberty in some ways. Throwing myself into work, now enough is enough.
We've the makings of a great book here girls - at last I've found people who understand! Smile on my face and an order from Bravissimo on the way.
Gotta get the Nike attitude - just do it!!
Thanks for all the wisdom and advice, all teary eyed, feeling like if you can all do it, so can I!
Feel a group hug coming on....:8855:
 

1974rach

Gold Member
G: 10st7lb
#20
good luck with your journey...I'm another sympathiser! Have spent all my adult life hiding behind my weight and have recently woken up to the fact that the only person holding me back is me!

hugs to you honey

xxx
 


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